Healing Sexual Trauma, Abuse, Repression, Oppression, Shame, Molestation and worse
Several years ago, the world was shaken.
In the month since the New York Times put Harvey Weinstein front and center in the public eye, one thing has become crystal clear: sexual harassment and abuse is endemic in our world.
Like so many voices that have now been allowed to speak, I know sexual abuse. I am among the estimated 70-80% of women who were molested before 18. And though women have more voice in the sexual abuse coverage, men do not escape unscathed.
Back then, when I read the hundreds of #metoo posts and articles, what concerned me the most was this: an entire swath of humanity is a walking powder keg of unhealed sexual trauma.
Yes, it’s time women express their rage. Yes, it’s time they claim their power and shed light on what has been ignored or excused for so long. But, yes, men are sexually harassed and abused, too. Yes, it isn’t pleasant. And yes, some of the discussion gets vitriolic. So my question is: now what?
Sexually traumatized women need a lot of space to be upset. So let the wounded feel their feelings. Let them use social media as a group space to grieve, rage, and explore the realities of repression, oppression, and shame. And once some of that initial charge has blown off, let’s talk about sexual healing.
I am living proof that a person can recover from sexual abuse and have a rich and satisfying sex life. Finding the diamond in the coal is an integral part of the process of healing. So I’d like to suggest a #weCAN campaign.
#weCAN heal and move beyond sexual trauma.
#weCAN drop the emotional armor that protected us during the abuse.
#weCAN open up where we have physically shut down.
#weCAN release the bonds of shame.
And when we do…
#weCAN open our hearts and love again, AND
#weCAN open our bodies to feel the full measure of our sexual pleasure.
Check Out These Videos ⇐ Healing My Sexuality
HEALING SEXUAL TRAUMA
According to me, the timing of the #metoo campaign was perfect. At this point in our collective evolution, professionals and healers have developed all kinds of modalities to heal sexual abuse.
Some highly effective approaches such as Somatic Experiencing, Buddhist Tonglen, Family Constellation work, Group Circling, and Direct Neurofeedback are highly effective. Hands-on sexual healing work is now legal in many states. Video demonstrations on Goddess and Lingam Healing Massages can be readily accessed online.
I don’t know what might work for you or for the one you love, but Google these concepts and discover what speaks best to you.
- Somatic Experience acknowledges that our body holds past emotion scarring and needs release.
- Tonglen puts perspective on our wounding compared to the plight of most humans and activates forgiveness.
- Family Constellation work can exorcise the genetic patterns of abuse.
- Group Circling allows many to contribute to your healing.
- Direct Neurofeedback (LENS) can calm your traumatized emotions.
- Hands-on healing like Goddess and Lingam massages can release emotions and restore genital tissue to its natural state.
And there are more possibilities beyond psychotherapy, although an ASSECT.org Sexologist will have various tools to support you as well.
One of the most vital contributions of the #metoo campaign is the heightened awareness of the impact sexual abuse has on the individual.
How many men and women don’t even realize that their lack of libido tracks back to some unresolved trauma?
How many husbands don’t know the real reason their wife isn’t interested in sex is that she never told a soul that someone raped her at 22?
How many women think their partner doesn’t find them attractive when it’s his wounding from sexual abuse or shaming?
I believe that a sensitive, aware partner is a powerful ally when healing sexual trauma. And, in turn, when actualizing your sexual potential.
With or without a partner, sexual wounding can heal over time. Abuse is not a life sentence. It doesn’t need to own you. And with #metoo making it abundantly clear how prevalent sexual trauma is, you know you’re not alone.
I hope that sexually traumatized men and women will make it abundantly clear that it is possible to heal. May we all reclaim our bodies and thoroughly enjoy our sexuality because #weCAN.
Check Out These Videos ⇐ Healing My Sexuality
I also want to give you a NEW video about Rewriting Your Libido Love Story.
In this video dialog, Dr. Keesha Ewers, a doctor of sexual functional medicine and I give you the tools to write the wrongs of your past, find forgiveness for betrayals, and come through to the other side letting go of emotional burdens holding you back from having the best sexual experience of your life.
You deserve the God-given human right of easeful pleasure and connection with a partner.
This is the most helpful, healing, wholesome video on the subject of reversing sexual trauma I’ve ever done.
If your sex drive (or your partner’s sex drive) has suffered from past issues, grab this video now.
Rewriting Your Libido Story (VIDEO) ← Watch Or Download Now Before It’s Gone
And here is a recent podcast I was on:
Suz joins The Science of Self-Healing podcast with Dr. Sharon Stills to talk about Healing Sexual Trauma to spark true love and intimacy in your relationships. She also talks about how pop culture and porn are damaging to your relationships, somatic therapy for sensual healing, relaxation, arousal, and so much more.