The “magic” behind relationships is knowing your partner’s relationships values, and them knowing yours.
When both of you have this cheat sheet to each other’s happiness (both in love and sex), the magic happens.
Check out how Angelo (not his real name) and I got down and dirty on how he can bring the magic to his relationship.
We’ve had quite an exchange of emails (I love helping you guys out the best I can), and you can see them below.
Relationship Magic ⇐ The Cheat Sheet To Your Lover’s Happiness
THE KEY TO THE BEST RELATIONSHIPS
I’ve read the workbook and think I’ve worked out my top 4 relationship values.
I’m a bit unclear though, on how I can walk up to a total stranger and start asking them about something they may consider quite personal, their relationship values. Have I missed something? You talk about getting a connection in the video before asking the question, how do you get the connection?
Angelo (not real name)”
Great to hear from you. What ARE your top four relationship values?
As far as approach, what knowing your 4 RV’s helps with is being solid in yourself and what you’re looking for in someone to date.
A man who doesn’t know what he wants in a woman is less interesting and more needy than a guy who knows what’s important to him. Knowing what you want is a very masculine trait that appeals to women.
And understanding that every woman values different things in a relationship gives you some footing to work with. I’ll explain that more below, but first, know this:
Approaching a woman is entirely contextual. You have to see what she’s doing, where you are, etc. You leverage that information to come up with something to say.
If you saw a woman in a museum it would be a totally different conversation than walking by a pretty girl on the street. You have to assess the context and get clever at finding a common thread between you. Read this article for more ideas about how to approach a woman and what do to.
Getting back to the concept of relationship values and how to talk to a woman about it. Here’s why this is so valuable.
Now that you are aware of your own values, you know that every person wants something different. So what you’re doing when you talk to a woman is asking questions about her and her interests.
Take the woman in the museum. You see her. She’s looking at art. You walk up and say, “What caught your eye most about this piece? This is a great museum, isn’t it? Are you in the arts?”
Give her a chance to respond. Then say, “I saw how pretty you were and I just had to come up and introduce myself in case you’re single. I’d love to go out for coffee some time if you are.”
Follow the instructions in the article below and give her your card. Tell her to feel free to friend you on Facebook as well.
Then when you are at coffee, ask her about what kind of relationship she’s looking for after you’ve gotten to know each other a little bit. Explain your relationship values and ask her what she thinks hers are.
I promise this will open up a lot of interesting conversation in addition to letting you both know if you might be compatible.
Try it and see how well it goes!
Thanks for taking the time to reply to me on your Sunday! My top 4 RVs are:
I went for the main heading, Passion for 1, because I think it includes a lot of the values in the cluster. I did initially have Honesty as 3, but I think Integrity includes Honesty and Reliability which are important to me. For 4 I have Joy, as I think this can include Laughter, Fun, Humour and Optimism.
I guess I want to squeeze as much as possible into my four RVs! What do you think? Thanks for clarifying re the approach too, that makes sense.
These are excellent values. Now the next step is to list 3-4 things that a girlfriend could do that would make you feel she was hitting on your values squarely.
Like for passion, what would make you feel like you are in a passionate relationship? Can you give specific examples?
Do that for all four and tell me what they are.
This is really the most important part.
Then I will step you through the next part, which is how to talk to a girl about this in a way that engages her.
These are some things that would make me feel I’m getting my values.
- Flirty, sexy, loving. Texting and verbal communication.
- Using terms of endearment and affection in communication.
- Sensual touching, a great sexual relationship.
- In tune and being sensitive to each other’s moods, feelings and emotions.
- Being able to share/talk about feelings and thoughts.
- Physical connection through for example dance, tango.
- A feeling of belonging to each other.
- Being honest and open with each other about our relationship.
- Being reliable with regards to arrangements we make, meeting up.
- Fidelity. Having respect for each other.
- Having fun, laughing, sharing humour, enjoying and taking pleasure in experiencing things together, seeing the funny side of life.
- Being supportive and optimistic, being spiritual – meditating together.
What do you think?
I think these specific examples such as meditating together, showing up on time, taking Tango lessons together, and flirting via text are exactly the kind of specifics that a woman needs to know to make you happy.
The more of these kind of examples you can list, the easier it is for a woman to know she’s meeting your relationship values square on.
Now that you know your values and how a woman can meet them, you can use these examples to explain to women you’re dating what you’re seeking.
Through your sharing of your own values, you can elicit her values. She will love talking about what she wants. This is a great way to both deepen connection as well as vet a women for compatibility.
If she cannot do these kinds of things with you, she may not be your match!
Let me know how this process was for you and how you’ll use these insights in the future.
It’s all about getting in sync with someone without any guessing. Relationship Magic gives you the cheat sheet to each other’s happiness in both relationships and sex.
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