Activate the accelerator of women’s sexual response. If you want to increase female sexual desire, consider focusing on four cues.
In “Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life,” Dr. Emily Nagoski presents research findings on a survey about factors for female sexual desire.
Researchers* asked women what turned them on and found the results divided into four general categories:
- Love and Emotional Bonding Cues
- Explicit and Erotic Cues
- Visual and Proximity Cues
- Romantic and Implicit Cues
Love and Emotional Bonding Cues
Understand how your lady feels most loved, secure, and emotionally connected, and create those feelings. That will consistently will increase her desire for lovemaking. (This is what my Relationship Magic exercise helps you put into words so your partner can create those feelings for you.)
Explicit and Erotic Cues
What turns you (or your lady) on? Does she like reading erotica? Having you tell her how sexy she is? Seeing her lover’s erect penis? There are responses to erotic cues that are unique for each woman.
Visual and Proximity Cues
What gets you turned on when you see it? A warm fireplace? A pair of the sluttiest high heels in your closet? Your guy in his tight briefs?
Romantic and Implicit Cues
What kind of romantic experiences get you turned on? Do you love to be held? Does salsa dancing get you aroused? Perhaps a dinner out where he gets the car door for you? Or a verbal expression of his undying love for you?
These are the four conditions that increase a woman’s sexual desire.
Too often, what happens is the new relationship energy fades when the romantic and emotional bonding cues become taken for granted.
In Revive Her Drive, I explain to men who want to rekindle their sex lives that they must first start with romance, then re-awaken their wives’ or girlfriend’s sensual awareness before moving into seduction and sexual techniques.
Men, in general, have a faster sexual accelerator system, so they tend to forget these all-important steps to a woman’s arousal.
In my next email of this series, I’ll tell you the 8 things that cause women to “put on the sexual brakes” according to “Come As You Are.”
For now, pay close attention to what you or your lady needs to feel “in the mood.” Every woman’s sexual accelerator cues are different. When you learn what makes you feel like making love, you can more easily empower your lover to create that experience for you.
In my vast experience working with a wide range of men worldwide for over a decade, they love to have a checklist of things that a woman needs to want to make love to. Any shortcuts to your pleasure and happiness you can give him will help him create the feelings you need to make love. Learn how to increase female sexual desire.
Isn’t that one of the joys of life?
Know More ⇒ Come As You Are
*Cues Resulting In Desire For Sexual Activity In Women by Katie McCall and Cindy Meston is the research from which this information comes. You can read the full report on the US National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health website.