“She thinks I want a blow job because of watching porn. (I don’t watch porn.)”
I recently purchased your program on how to get your woman to want to give you oral sex.
I have tried the material you presented, and it is not working for me. I tried having the loving conversation with her and she tells me she feels pressured to do that (I don’t pressure her), and she even thinks that my desire for her to do that are a result of the proliferation of porn in our society (I do not look at porn).
Even if I try to explain my desire to her in a loving way, she simply writes it off as me not even being aware of how my desires have been shaped by sexual images I have been exposed to.
I was really hoping that your program could work for me, but unfortunately it does not. If anything, I feel like having the discussion with her about my desires has only put us another step back since it affirmed for her my desire for that to be part of our relationship (which in turn creates pressure for her).
If I need to send my refund request to a different email address, please let me know who I need to contact.
I’m so sorry that your attempts have created a greater divide. Sometimes it takes two steps back to make one step of forward progress when you are unwinding a lifetime of negative programming.
We will of course process your refund. As long as you promise to keep the faith that you can, over time, get her to understand what I’ve written below… 😉
If you’d consider my further suggestions, here’s what I would recommend.
You have already opened the can of worms, so I’d keep going in the following manner.
First, I’d spend more time explaining what it is about oral pleasuring that men appreciate, namely:
1. It feels good to have your penis lovely embraced in your lover’s mouth. The physical sensation of being enveloped by the warm moisture and softness of her mouth is pleasurable. The ability to be soft and slowly get hard is very grounding.
Also let her know that there is no pressure for her to make you ejaculate. That is unnecessary and it’s the intimacy that you crave more than the release. (as she gets comfortable, she’ll relax and actually enjoy the feminine power of orgasming you)
2. There is an acceptance of the “value” of your penis when she takes it in her mouth that makes you feel loved and respected and desired. Oral pleasuring is not “dirty” or “wrong” and is a completely natural and erotic activity that lovers all over the world since the dawn of man have been doing to sooth and appreciate each other.
3. When lovers surrender to their passion, they want, neigh crave to be filled up by each other, to taste and smell each other and to give pleasure to each other in very intimate ways. The giving of oral pleasuring for many women is equally a gift of receiving pleasure. And not just because it’s “nice to give,” but because there is a sexy turn on that comes from taking a man in one’s mouth.
4. Porn is revulsive to most women because it’s reduced to a visual ghost of true eroticism. The kind of oral loving you seek has as much to do with porn as dog food does to filet mignon with Bernaise sauce and a succulent Cabernet Sauvignon.
5. I’ll paraphrase what one of our other customer’s describe so beautifully to me, “It’s not all about the physical aspect of sex or just “getting off.” It’s the close emotional connection with my wife. When we are making love and pleasuring each other with abandon, it is the time I feel closest to her. Giving her incredible pleasure and feeling like I’m her man and that I’m all she needs gives me the greatest satisfaction of all.”
Often women underestimate how important it is to a man to have his penis touched, stroked, licked, suckled and appreciated. Especially women who have only a distant relationship to their own genitals.
Maybe if you can share these points with her, she will begin to understand the heart connection that comes through being comfortable enough to enjoy your manhood in her mouth for a few minutes here and there.
After you have this kind of conversation with her… perhaps dripped out in small bits over time instead of dumped on her all at once, she will ruminate and begin to have appreciation for your perspective.
If it’s any consolation, most of the women I know luxuriate in giving their lovers blow jobs, head, what ever you want to call it.
They would be upset if they couldn’t do it.
When a women gets truly turned on, she is naturally drawn to put a penis in her mouth.
I suggest you spend more time filling her up with orgasms (I’d suggest our Expand Her Orgasm Tonight — “EHOT” — program as the BEST in the world at slowing getting a woman to the point where she wants more sex, more often, including a desire for oral loving) and appreciating her genitals for her.
Once she begins to trust that you love her Yoni in all its glory, she may realize that it could be possible for her to love your penis as much as you do.
I’d also suggest you begin showing her your penis when the opportunity presents itself. “Hey baby, look at my handsome penis.” “It sure loves you!”
Keep it light.
She’s afraid. She’s ignorant. This is not her fault. This is the faulty of society, culture and religion. But it is your responsibility as her man to keep opening her world.
Some day soon, if you give her orgasmic abundance through the Expanded Orgasm practice (the 21 Sandbox Dates inside EHOT would be “right sized” for where she is right now on the sexual learning curve) and you get her more comfortable handling your penis, you can evoke the “Three Little Lick” technique inside the Blow Job Secret. Remember that one?
Yes. Work your way up.
Sooner than you think, you can demystify this whole world of oral pleasuring.
Thank you for telling me your situation.
Please keep in touch and keep trying. Just go slowly.
Your email is a common scenario. You are not alone in ANY way. I am going to share this in a [Mailbag] email without any personally identifiable information for other guys out there on your same path.
I hope you’ll try EHOT! Here is a link to get three free pleasure reports which explain the “30 minute orgasm” stroking technique, as well as the power of “peaking” and how to “touch for rapture.” It’s marvelous and your wife needs these sensations!