Kinky sex is especially important to add buzz and titillation to a long term relationship.
A naughty private life together binds you intimately and gives you both a great sense of personal power.
I’ve found it best to ramp up slowly, with no pressure to “perform.” And whatever “scene” you make up is enhanced by heightened communication:
– Understanding each other’s boundaries and areas to avoid.
– What it is within the scene your partner finds extra hot so you can play to each other’s desires.
Here are some fun examples of beginner things you can do beyond “vanilla sex.”
– Lingerie costumes with role playing.
– Switching the dominant role with the more receptive partner.
– Blindfolds with sensation play.
– Adding a new lover into the mix (ONLY if you’re in a stable relationship.)
Think of these kinky play ideas as “Sandbox Dates.” Dr. Patti calls sex dates where you’re playing while learning, “Sandboxes.”
When you frame the kinky play as a Sandbox you have more latitude to talk about what’s happening as it occurs.
Co-create an idea for a scene ahead of time. This is a wonderful, sexy dinner conversation!
Then you will both be in agreement about what everyone contributes to the date. Then as the scene plays out you’ll have more comfort knowing what’s expected. Of course it can veer in any direction if you both agree in mid-date to change it. That’s what the heightened communication is good for.
Once you start the scene, try and drop in to your sensual desire and turn each other on using your plan as the pathway to ramping desire. Try and fuel the fire to make it really hot. Have fun.
If you have any trouble at all talking to your partner about your desire for more variety in your sex life, I highly recommend the Be Her Sexual Trainer: Unlock Her Most Intense Sexual Responses. (ON SALE UNTIL SUNDAY ONLY)
Dr. Patti wrote it. I recorded the ebook. This is POWERFUL information not taught anywhere else.
Why is this book that every woman hopes you will read before your next erotic encounter?
– You’ll learn how to recognize what she wants sexually.
– You will discover how to communicate openly and honestly about what pleases her – and you – sexually.
– You’ll understand how to get her to delightfully open her vast sexual treasure-trove to you. You’ll do this by mastering the art of encouraging her to reveal her deepest, most secret sexual fantasies and desires, so that they may become a reality.
– You’ll discover how to train her sexually both without her noticing that you’re doing it (when that’s appropriate), or with her overt and enthusiastic agreement – thus initiating a sexual training program together.
Are you ready to dive into hot, meltdown sex – more and better than you ever dared hope for?
Sexual Training is where it’s at.
Hold joy in your heart and smile, smile, smile! This is FUN SEX.
Let me know if you have a favorite beginner kinky sex scheme you want to share by posting on the blog (commenting can be anonymous).
Sale ends this Sunday.
Plus, sign up now and we will email you three eBooks, written by Dr. Patti that explain how Expanded Orgasm works, what the orgasms are like and briefly, how the practice works. If you are looking for a way to give more pleasure, have more erotic lovemaking and expand your lady’s orgasmic abilities, there’s nothing better than Expanded Orgasm.
