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We all have one dominant desire, what’s yours

Something fun to talk about.

I recently attended a presentation by a man who has the fourth-highest IQ ever recorded. At 197, his IQ is higher than Einstein’s. His name is Walter O’Brien. You may have seen a CBS television show based on his
life called Scorpion.

Walter is incredibly intelligent but he has no emotions.

He is completely rational instead of emotional. With all that cranial processing power as a gift, what he didn’t get was feeling.

That being said, he’s a delightful person with whom to talk.

And he’s found ways of coping with his lack of emotion regarding relationships. He has girlfriends, but he uses a team of female friends to find women who are well-suited to his unique personality traits.

In his presentation, he explained the six different facets of human gifts.

He says, if you’re a vehicle on your journey to self-actualization (achieving your goals), then you need to make sure that all forms of intelligence are being locked in:

Emotional Quotient
EQ Walter described this as “how you get around people obstacles in the context of social environments.” For him, emotions are obstacles. For most people, emotions are what we use to navigate our happiness and satisfaction.

Though there are six basic emotions, there are thousands of permutations on each of the six. Empathy, or understanding how others feel is an important part of social relating.

Intelligence Quotient
IQ How you learn things, the abilities of your mind, life-long learning.

Relationship Quotient
RQ Your friends, lovers, family, peers, and standing in the community.

Body Quotient
BQ: Your sleep, health, fitness, nutrition, monitoring your biomarkers.

Grit Quotient
GQ: Grit, drive, passion, tenacity.

Financial Quotient
FQ: Financial Quotient: Money management, savings, taxes, backups, regulations.

We have a lot of control over how we manage our emotions, how we treat our friends, family, and partners, how we take care of our health, and how we choose our goals and focus on achieving them. We also have control over whether we pursue lifelong learning and how we earn and manage our money.

We are all given different gifts and talents and it’s how we use them that makes the difference.

I ask you today, which of the six quotients could you be doing a better job of managing?

One of my challenges is being accepted for who I am. As a strong, opinionated woman I am both the CEO of my company and the “trusted hot sex advisor to millions.”

Being both a leader and being in the business of talking about sex can be triggering for others individually…and I am a combination of these two. So there are times when people feel uncomfortable around me.

One of my girlfriends who wants only the best for me said I had pushed the buttons of some of her friends. I wither at the thought of upsetting anyone. My desire is to create more intimacy and love through my actions… not to make anyone feel weird being around me.

She asked me to read a book called, The People Code. In this book, the author says that people are motivated by one of four desires: power, intimacy, peace, and playfulness.

We all have one dominant desire, though a few people have a strong secondary desire. Apparently, that makes those people feel like push-me-pull-yous. In other words, a tension exists for some people who score high on a strong secondary desire.

When you start to consider your various friends, family, and co-workers through the lens of their core motivation, their behavior becomes more clear. This helps you get along with them and support who they want to be in a better way.

For example, I’m a power-driven person with a nearly equal dose of desire for intimacy. Sir Tim, my darling husband desires peace. Our daughter is the epitome of playful adventure. My mother? Peace. My father? Playful. My best friend? Intimacy.

The People Code can help you deepen your Relationship Quotient and strengthen your Emotional Quotient. Reading it will increase your Intelligence Quotient. It’s a fun gift for the holidays for a friend. The concept is also a fun “quiz” to share around the family dining table. Heck, you could use this as a pick-up line with a woman! “Do you know what color your People Code is?”

Email me back if you know what color your People Code is. I always love hearing from you.

Here’s to a better connection, with more fun for all!

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