Step-by-step engorgement pictures below.
There are three important pieces that contribute to a woman having orgasms from intercourse: Context, Variety and Engorgement.
Any woman can orgasm nearly the entire time she’s having intercourse. This is a learned skill. And it’s available to every woman. You just need to know some things and you need practice.
The three major components to having orgasms are context, variety and engorgement:
1. Context, which means the conditions have to be right — emotionally and environmentally. She needs to want to have sex with her partner and the place they’re having sex needs to be good for her. STI’s and contraception need to be handled and she needs to feel good.
2. Variety, which can mean anything from the thrill of a new partner to getting a wide enough variety of stimulation that she can climax to and experiences that make the lovemaking exciting enough for her. This is why having a lot of sex techniques is important.
3. Engorgement, which means blood flow. If the tissue all around her vagina doesn’t get enough blood to it from stimulation and arousal, she will struggle to orgasm. You can have a perfect environment and lots of techniques but without engorgement, she may struggle to orgasm.
Women have as much erectile tissue in their clitoral structure and their urethral and perineal sponges as men do in their penises. The erectile tissue is inside her, but very near the surface. You can stimulate a woman’s erectile tissue by knowing where it is and how it likes to be stimulated.
Just as a man gets more pleasure from being erect, a woman does too. Rushing sex, or not knowing how to stimulate her whole genital system means she’s not going to have the intensity and volume of orgasms she’s capable of having.
Women need a lot of tongue and hand stimulation to get that tissue full of blood. Blood carrying capacity is as important for women’s pleasure as it is for men’s pleasure.
Below are a series of pictures of a woman’s genitals. You can see the clitoris, the shaft of her clitoris, her clitoral arms and legs. In this picture, the urethral sponge and the perineal sponge are also shown. The vaginal canal is literally surrounded by erectile tissue.
She has what is basically a balloon that needs blowing up to experience incredible pleasure. As you work on engorging her tissues she will begin to experience deeper pleasure. If you massage her and give her oral pleasuring to all this tissue over a series of days in a row, you will see that her vulva blossoms and plumps up. This makes intercourse divine, an otherworldly experience.
Sometimes you can “over-engorge” her. If she feels too swollen, place firm hands on her mound and press to relieve the sensation. She can guide you to duration and pressure needed. This is also called, Grounding and we teach this in our Expand Her Orgasm Tonight program.
When you take a woman up, you also have to ground her. There are couples exercises for it in EHOT. It’s an important part of stimulation for a woman. Stair stepping her up the arousal ladder is the way to take her higher. Not by over stimulating her too much.
In this next image I show you what the anatomical parts are. You are going to see this same image repeated with different instructions so you’ll know your way around female anatomy and how to play with it for maximum engorgement.
Focus on erectile tissue and learning where it is on her body so you can stimulate it. If you’re a woman, play with all this tissue while you’re masturbating. You can use organic coconut oil and a multitude of sex toys on these areas to see what feels good.
The clitoris is shaped like a little person. The clitoris is its head. The shaft is its neck. The crura are it’s arms. The vestibular bulbs are its legs. The arms and legs drape over the opening to the vagina. The arms can be found in the wells of the labial folds. The bulbs are directly under the pubic hair on each side of the vaginal opening.
In addition to the clitoral structure, there are two additional erectile tissue masses. One is the urethral sponge. Erroneously called, the G-Spot, it’s actually a long tube of erectile tissue that wraps around the urethra. The urethra is the place her pee and much of her female ejaculate comes out. You can find the exit above her vaginal opening and below her clitoris. That little hole has erectile tissue around it right there at the exit. That’s why a tongue from clitoris to vaginal opening, which skims over the urethral exit, feels so good to get stimulated. It’s erectile tissue. And that erectile tissue goes all the way up inside her along the roof of the vaginal canal. Pressing down on her mons pubis, above her pubic hair puts pressure on that erectile tube from the outside top as well.
The perineal sponge is another big chunk of very pleasurable erectile tissue. It can be stimulated from the perineum, below the bottom of where the labia come together. For cleanliness reasons, smart women do not like their anus touched at the same time they’re getting their vaginal area stimulated. So if you’re going to touch her anus to stimulate her perineal sponge, put on a polyurethane tight-fitting glove and use extra oil all over the glove and her perineum to massage it. Then turn the glove inside out when you take it off and throw it away and your hand will still be clean to continue the massage.
While you have the glove on, with her permission, you can also slide a finger inside her anus and palpate up toward her vaginal canal. You’ll be directly on her perineal sponge. It’s close to the entrance of her rectum. You don’t need to go far inside. Similar to the G-Spot, it’s near the entrance.
When you are done with the backdoor and focused on the vaginal area again with clean, clean hands, you can also go inside her vagina and press down on the floor toward her rectum and stimulate the perineal sponge from the lower vaginal wall.
But this can come long after she’s very warmed up and given permission to enter her with fingers or tongue. Most women need a lot of external warm up before they want anything inside them.
You’re always starting at the outside and working your way in slowly. Never put fingers inside without asking.
Next I’ve put an image so you can see where to touch to get all this tissue stimulated.
Instead of going right for the clitoral glans or tip, start with the mons and outer labia. Get a good amount of organic coconut oil and rub the mons until the tissue under the skin is like jelly. It will have what feel like stitches or stuck areas in the tissue. If you can get that flesh under the skin to relax and loosen, it will aid in her ability to ejaculate.
Run your hands down from the mons to the outer labia. Lift your hands. Put them up at the mons again. Rub down again. Rubbing up against the grain of the pubic hair can be annoying. Rub down and not up and down at the beginning. Focus not on the skin but the tissue below the skin. Set your intention to bringing blood flow into these outer labia. Watch as they puff up. They will go from flaccid to plump.
Over time, bring in the inner labia. Run your fingers in the channels between the inner and out labia. The outer labia like pressure. The vestibular bulbs are right underneath. You are giving the clitoral legs, or vestibular bulbs or outer labia (all the same thing) an erection.
The inner labia like like touch. Some women have small lips. Some bigger. The bigger ones like a little rolling between oily fingers. Always ask for feedback if you are the giver. If you are masturbating yourself, try a bunch of stimulating touch techniques to see what feels good. Remember, every day you’ll like something different because you’re a hormonally cyclical being. Let your body guide you. Guide your partner each time.
You can start to tease the clitoris now. Start at the hood. Rub your clitoris through the hood. Think about giving yourself or your partner a clitoral erection. You want that shaft to stand up and pop out. Run your hands on your entire vulvar area in a way that sends blood to the clitoral shaft and hood. Stroke up above the hood on the slick skin under the mons. That will help plump up the clitoral hood, shaft and glans.
Try very, very soft well-lubricated strokes around the clitoris alternated with butterfly-light swipes back and forth quickly across the glans or tip of the clitoris. Then move on. Remember, variety is one of the hallmarks of orgasmic pleasure.
I have three outstanding online programs that teach stroking techniques: Expand Her Orgasm Tonight, Female Liquid Orgasm and the Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection. If you want to learn how to hold a woman in orgasm for an hour, EHOT is your program. If you want to learn how to have incredible female ejaculatory sessions, FLO is your program. If you want over 200+ advanced Tantric lovemaking his and hers techniques for massage, oral and intercourse get on the list for our upcoming sale on the Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection.
You can never have too many techniques and skills. And having these kinds of skills go a long way toward creating variety and engorgement.
The vaginal opening, called the introitus, is also full of nerve endings. Instead of rushing right inside, take your time to pleasure the tissue all around that opening.
If you’re the pleasure giver, slow down.
Now slow down more.
Now go half as fast as that.
Be in the moment. Feel what you are touching.
Don’t touch to get a reaction, touch for the sheer joy of touching.
When she starts moaning you’re getting somewhere.
Tell her not to move, or do anything that isn’t naturally coming from within her animal body.
The more relaxed she is, the more her natural reactions will surface.
As she invites you or you ask permission to put fingers inside her, you’ll want to play with the G-Spot. The G-Spot is not a spot. It’s an area.
The outer third of the vaginal opening has a ton of nerve endings. The perineal sponge on the floor of her vaginal canal is full of erectile tissue. And the G-Area, which is the urethral sponge, is also a big puffy mass of tissue.
Think of a pool noodle.
The G-Spot is actually a pool noodle of erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra. Her blood plasma recruits liquid from her body and it drains through the Skene’s Glands down into her urethra and squirts out when she ejaculates. That noodle is all erectile tissue. And you an stimulate it with fingers, tongue and toys.
Watch my video series with the adorable Serene Martinez on G-Spot and Squirting Toys and get my free report called G-Spot and Squirting Toys, Tools and Lube Guide here.
I really LOVE the G-Spot wands for giving good pressure all the way along the noodle up inside the vaginal canal. My favorites are in the guide.
The sponges like pressure. The clitoral legs like pressure. The clitoris itself often gets more and more orgasmic with lighter and lighter pressure. Though some women really like heavy pressure, it’s my opinion they only do so because they haven’t had a lover who knew how to touch their genitals to give them enough wide stimulation of all the erectile tissue. So they rely on heavy clitoral pressure because they are not engorged well enough.
When you can get to the lightest of touch as being meltingly stimulating, you can start to have the Expanded Orgasms we teach in Expand Her Orgasm Tonight. Grab the three free reports to learn more about what an Expanded Orgasm is.
There’s so much you can learn about being a great lover! If you’ve made it this far I congratulate you!
I’m sure you’ll have questions. Write them in the comments below and I’ll answer them all.
And here’s a link to my Penetration Orgasm video series. I go into depth on engorgement, variety and context.
While you’re there, make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel. It’s free. And like and comment on my videos. That helps me help more people. Pay it forward.
And I’ll see you on the other side!