One of the reasons why relationships fail is because the attraction goes away.
That’s a sad and hurtful fact. But there’s no going around it.
Sometimes, people fall out of love. People and personalities change. Life gets in the way. There are so many factors at play.
Even a lover’s physical attributes. Much like what a fan emailed me some time ago asking for advice.
He had seemingly lost the attraction he once had for his wife. And he wanted to know what he could do about it.
Scroll down for his email and my response below.
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TEAM EFFORT
“Dear Susan,
What do you do when you struggle to be attracted to your partner? We’ve been married for 10+ years and have kids. My wife has always been overweight and I’ve never liked it. It permeates my thoughts and makes me view her negatively.
Why is she overweight? Doesn’t she realize I’m a catch? Why doesn’t she try to make herself more attractive to me? Should I just leave and find someone that I’m attracted to?” are thoughts that go through my head.
Your relationship and intimacy tips are great, but they feel like they’re meant for people that are truly in love and attracted to each other. I struggle to use them because I feel so resentful that I married this woman.
In my view, it’s better to pleasantly part ways rather than feel stuck, resentful, angry, and longing for someone else.
— Richard (not his real name)
Hi Richard,
Maybe she uses her fat to keep you away because she doesn’t enjoy sex?
I often wonder if that is a psychology behind some women’s weight.
Here’s a way you can test and see if you should leave or not without coming right out and telling her that her weight disgusts you.
Try romancing her again like you are trying to win her heart as you did when you first met.
You’ll have to act “as if” for now.
Start first thing with the Soulmate Embrace. This will put both of you in a warm, loving mood for each other.
As you get her back into your romantic heart-connected trust zone, start taking her on romantic walks, bicycle rides, even to an easy yoga class if you can get her to go. The objective is to start moving her body for her.
Start out REALLY SMALL so she can work her way up. She’s out of shape. Give her compliments for her effort.
Start telling her she looks pretty. Give her compliments. Make them real ones. See her with fresh eyes. Don’t bullshit her. You are gaining her trust.
Next, start working on the food she’s eating by eating very healthy yourself and asking for healthier foods to be served at home. Or you cook them and feed her. When a person is addicted to flour, sugar, alcohol and other carbohydrates, it’s no different than being an alcoholic. She literally is addicted. So you have to start easing her off the crap food and into a healthier eating style.
As you begin to re-feed her body with nutrition and start taking her for movement experiences and complimenting her, she’s likely going to start experiencing a positive feeling in her health and zest for life.
Keep at this 3-6 months — rekindling your romance, going healthy lifestyle…
Then you can tell her she’s looking better. Give her reinforcement of her progress.
Then you can decide if you want to keep going or not. But I think if you can just get her kick started, she will feel better and begin to want you again.
My program, Revive Her Drive, shows you many, many ways to do the four steps back to great sex with your wife. I highly suggest you get it and listen to all the audios and read the short ebooks. Then pick and choose from the ideas to customize your process.
What you’ll find is that Revive Her Drive will give you not just the steps and ideas to turn her back on, but the motivational support you are not getting now trying to do anything by yourself.
It also shows you how to step up and become the man she wants to have sex with again.
There is some self-defeating behavior you’re doing that is actually making the situation worse, which once you become aware of it, it makes this whole reviving of your self life better.
There is a lot of victimhood that men fall into as a trap that buries them alive. Revive Her Drive will get you out of that trap and moving forward with a plan. Even that will help you know if you should stay or go. And any forward momentum will remove some of the misery you’re in now from not getting the affection and sex you (and she) both deserve.
And when you feel pissed that YOU have to do all the work, it will show you why that is true at first and you will be ok with doing the heavy lifting.
I have helped thousands of men rekindle their sex lives. I have also have hundreds of men say that Revive Her Drive was the answer they needed to feel confident moving on.
That being said, it’s best to TRY to fix the wife you have. There’s massive disruption getting divorced. It’s messy as hell and as miserable as where you are right now. So try it. And email me anytime with questions.
A guy I just helped had a fat wife who would burp the whole time he tried to have sex with her. He was at his wits end. And he started feeding her so she’d eat well. And it literally turned things around for him. She was too sick from the fast foods she ate all the time to and from her depressing job to take action herself. Once he got her going in the right direction, she was able to make great progress herself.
It’s ok not to be turned on by obesity. You are not wrong in wanting a healthy, trim wife. But you would be wrong in leaving without trying these efforts to change what you have together. Because you do have a lot together.
I hope I’ve helped you.
Here’s a link to the best discount on that program.
Start With THIS Tonight ⇐ The Soulmate Embrace (FREE Download)
Click Here To Revive Her Drive ⇐ 4-Day Special Discount
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