How do you save a flatlined sex life? The answer is inside this email right here.
I can tell you right now.
Looking for another partner, a way out, is NOT the answer.
You’re just making things worse.
And if you can’t even FIX the relationship you’re in now, who’s to say you won’t have the same problem with your next one?
Every relationship has the potential to be as steamy, as sexy, and as sexually fulfilling as you want both want it to be.
And believe me, both of you WANT and CRAVE an amazing, wonderful sex life and relationship.
I recently received an email from a reader going through a similar problem.
“Should I stay? Should I go? Am I content where I am?”
Let’s talk more about it. I’ve got a lot of things I want to say.
REIGNITE INTENSE PASSION
“Hi, Susan. Do you think that sometimes sexual fulfillment doesn’t have to be about intercourse and orgasm for a guy?
I am 47 years old and have been married to the same woman for 24 years. We have four kids.
However, I feel my wife lacks in giving me the physical touch and affection I crave.
Recently, I went on a business trip and went out to dinner with a colleague. She is a single mom with a kid.
We had a nice dinner, and she drove me back to my hotel. We parked and talked some more. I decided to leap and reach out to her to touch her hand. She quickly reciprocated, and soon our hands were wandering everywhere over each other.
The next thing I know, we are kissing and making out. She was touching me everywhere. I had never experienced so much excitement and fulfillment from just making out with my wife.
We knew what we were doing was cheating. And she was responsible for letting me know that we wouldn’t be having sex out of respect for my wife.
Just like that, this woman is out of my life. She told me to have sex with my wife and be good to her.
The problem is, now that I know what I am missing out on, I have lost any sexual drive to be with my wife. What I experienced is enough to last me a long time.
I am just wondering if you think that if I were in a relationship that was more fulfilling like my experience with my colleague, is it possible that I wouldn’t need to have sex as often? “ — Kenneth (not his real name)
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Hi Kenneth. Thank you so much for writing to me, and I appreciate you giving me such a good background on everything. You’re very good at stating your feelings, which is helpful because many guys struggle. You’ve been married to your wife for 24 years, have four children, and are approaching 50.
There are a couple of different things that are going on here.
I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’m just going to tell it to you straight.
One of the things I’ve found about working with men is that you can tell a guy exactly what the deal is, and he’ll be like, “Oh, okay, I got it. I know what to do now.”
You married your wife, and you’ve been together for 24 years and only slept with that one woman. It feels like a chore for her to sleep with you because it’s not satisfying to her. You don’t have enough skills. You haven’t been a good enough lover to your wife.
You might immediately think, “Well, I’ve done a really good job, and she used to like it. Or I think I’m a good lover, or it hurts to hear that I’m not. Or how come it’s my fault? How come I’m not a good lover? How come she’s not the good lover?” All those things are going through your head and more.
The situation is that women are raised to be good girls. We are raised to be careful, to try not to get pregnant. Sex is loaded with issues for us as females, and it’s not for men. We’re the ones that get yeast infections and bacterial infections and all kinds of things. Painful childbirth and cesarean scars. It’s just a lot for us, number one.
Number two, women are not testosterone-driven, so we don’t have as high… generally across the bell curve of sex drive compared to men.
The third thing is that, though intercourse has probably felt very good to you, it probably hasn’t been as good for her. For women, we like a lot of clitoral stimulation, G-spot stimulation, and nipple stimulation.
We need to learn how to have orgasms from all kinds of stimulation. Often our husbands, just because intercourse feels so good to them, want a lot of intercourse. That in many ways, when you stick that blunt instrument inside her vagina, it brings her sexual energy down, not up like it brings yours up.
It’s hard to imagine being in a woman’s body, and husbands are not taught these things.
First of all, you’ve done nothing wrong. What you’ve done right is to come to me and ask me what to do because I can tell you that your wife would love to have the kind of hot, passionate sex you had in those secluded spots where you stole kisses in the car and groped each other. That’s exactly what your wife would like to have. She could be having it with someone that you don’t know about. The problem is that you’ve become very boring for her. Probably she hasn’t had a lot of great penetration orgasms. You’ve been doing the same old things to her.
You might also say, “Well, she doesn’t let me do anything.” Trust me, if you knew what you were doing, and you knew your way around her body and the bedroom, she’d be letting you do anything you want to her.
She’d be saying, “Take me, I’m yours. Cum me, make me feel great. Take over my nervous system, and take me back to heaven.”
She doesn’t because you don’t know how. One of the things I also say is that I’m really glad… and I will circle back to how you learned to do that? Because that’s your next step. The first thing I want you to know is that people have these special moments with other people all the time.
60% of people in monogamous relationships, both men and women, have had these experiences that have gone a lot further than your experience. Some people call it cheating. I don’t like to call it that because I think these experiences often happen in a very unpremeditated, not premeditated way.
It sneaks up on you, and you’d be a fool not to take advantage of the moment and the opportunity. To think that you could be married for 24 years, not be with another woman, and not get bored equally is really… it’s very difficult in today’s day and age.
With all of the polyamory and the open relationships, and the pornography and movies and swinging and cheating. There’s just a lot of much more permissive sexual exploration going on, number one. Number two, you did not do this to hurt her in any way. Now that you remember what it’s like, you said your wife doesn’t give you that affection and touch.
Well, she doesn’t give you that affection and touch because she doesn’t want to have sex with you, because she’s bored out of her mind, and it’s not satisfying. There are a couple of things that you need to do here. Number one, I would not recommend that you ever tell her about this. She doesn’t need to know.
Number two, I’d highly recommend that you learn some sexual skills. I would start with genital massage, oral sex, breast massage, and kissing. You have to talk to your wife and say, “Tell me what you like about our sex life, and tell me what you don’t. Tell me where you’re bored. Tell me where you want more.
Tell me what frustrates you about our sex life. Tell me what frustrates you about me. Tell me what you find sexy about me. Tell me the parts of you that are a turn-off to you now that we’re hitting our 50s. Tell me everything and anything about what you fantasize about, what you wish our sex life could be. If you had an affair, what would it be like?”
Just start talking to your wife and asking her things. Tell her that you want to start giving her more pleasure, that pleasure you should have been giving her all along, but you just didn’t know what you didn’t know. You want to explore and take on a sexual renaissance in your marriage. Now, you can do that directly.
For some women, that would be too much for them. They’re not interested. They’re bored with you. They’re disconnected. They’re hoping you’ll leave them alone. If it’s gotten that bad for you, then I recommend that what you do, are stealth seduction techniques. Things that your wife really won’t even know are things that are going on.
That will turn her body back on first because you can’t take the full-frontal verbal direct approach. For most women, that’s actually what husbands need to do. There are a couple of things that you can start with. The first one is I want you to start doing pushups. I want you to start working on your upper body, your biceps. That sends a raging sex signal to your wife without you saying a thing!
If you have a gut, get rid of it. Nobody wants to try to find a willy underneath the big gut. I mean, very few women. You can take your wife on walks, take her out, and get her moving again because when you move a woman’s body, you move their emotions. Then I want you to start doing something called catch-and-release.
Catch and release is where you walk up to her, hug her, stroke her hair, kiss her forehead or cheek, and then walk away. Don’t grab her, don’t overwhelm her. Just start giving her affection without it having to lead to sex. Because when she gives you affection, you always have to have it lead to sex.
That’s not what she wants, so she stopped touching you. I’d like you to get a couple of my programs. The first thing I want you to get is the Passion Patch. The Passion Patch is a subtle place to arouse different women. Different women like to be touched in different places, in different ways.
There are one or two ways your wife likes to be touched that get her turned on. This book is about how you figure out those places or places for her. You can do it without telling her you’re doing it.
The second thing that I want you to do is get my program called Revive Her Drive.
You Can Get It Here ⇐ Revive Her Drive And Bring Back Intimacy Into Your Relationship
In this program, I have taught over… oh Gosh, thousands of men who are exactly like you. Kenneth, you’re not telling me anything new I haven’t heard or gotten an email about from thousands and thousands, up from thousands and thousands of men. I mean, your story is the classic story. You’re not different. You’re normal!
You’re just the typical guy who doesn’t know how to seduce his wife, hold the masculine polarity, and have enough skill and technique to give her incredible orgasms, so she starts initiating sex with you. By beginning with the Revive Her Drive program, you can understand how to take the four steps back to reviving your sex life.
I can guarantee that you have so much life experience with your wife. You married her because she was right for you. You’ve made a family and a life together. To think that you can go out and find another woman who could ever take her place is ridiculous. What you need to do is, learn how to get your wife to want to fuck your brains out.
Then you would be deliriously happy with her, so don’t feel bad. I’m really glad you found me.
Start turning your wife on.
Create a sexual relationship with your wife that is better than any guy you know.
One caveat, when you’re trying to undo 24 years of really boring her in the bedroom, sometimes there’ll be three steps forward, one step back.
You’re man enough to handle that and stay the course. Keep your eye on the progress that you are making. Most guys often email me when they tell me, “She finally did this; she finally did this. We finally did this. She finally… oh, we had a backward fight.”
“Okay, try this now.” I will be here for you to answer your questions. Thank you so much for writing to me. Don’t worry about the woman. She was the woman who lit up that desire within you to take action.
To figure out how you could feel fulfilled and sexually satisfied in your relationship and have your woman feel that too.
Thank you so much, Kenneth. I’ll talk to you soon. Let me know how you do.
You Can Get It Here ⇐ Revive Her Drive And Bring Back Intimacy Into Your Relationship
All information from Susan Bratton, Personal Life Media, The20, and our collective brands are personal opinions. The statements made within this email/website have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These statements and the products of this company are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Always seek consultation from your doctor.
