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Sex Techniques for Giving Women Orgasms from Intercourse

If you want to give women orgasms from intercourse, there are a few things you must know. One is that orgasms from intercourse are a learned skill. This article is part 2 of a 3-part series on giving women awesome orgasms from intercourse. Previously, I spoke about the importance of creating an environment for pleasure.

Now, let’s move into variety. This is the second of the three ways to make her orgasm from intercourse more easily, reliably, and intensely, especially when you’re inside her. If you’re a woman you’ll learn a lot. There are a lot of good sexual techniques that I encourage you to learn. For example, I teach about massages and intercourse techniques in one of my video collections called the Steamy Sex Ed Video Collection. It’s great to memorize as many stimulation strategies as possible, and over your lifetime, keep adding to your sexual repertoire.

If you’re a typical guy, you may have 10 to 20 go-to techniques. But once you start knowing and practicing 30, 40, or 50 moves and you’re able to flow through a sequence of stimulations that take her higher in ways you cannot yet imagine using a variety of stimulating techniques, it will help her get into an orgasmic trance state. Once you start her coming, you can keep her coming again and again when she’s finally surrendered to her pleasure. A variety of techniques lets her know that you can keep stimulating her in many ways so she can get more turned on. She can relax if she knows you know what to do to keep her arousal escalating.

If you’ve ever had a lull in the bedroom where she’s not resting from having a bunch of orgasms but you’ve seen her sexual energy drop, if you can tell that she’s straining to orgasm or she’s even given up on trying, you don’t know enough techniques yet, and that’s okay. You’re learning right now but don’t learn from porn because women don’t want to be treated like porn stars. It’s not real.

Learning sex techniques is super important. You have to have good oral and manual skills; you have to know how to use your penis and not just pump it as you see in porn. Porn was created for you to have your ejaculation. You need to learn heart-connected conscious lovemaking techniques for women. Generally, women need more emotional sex. They want romantic unrushed language sensual sex. When a woman is emotionally connected, she is more able to have orgasms from intercourse.

A big part of creating erotic sexual experiences stems from the strength of your personal presence. Presence is key. Be mindful of what’s going on in the moment and pay attention to her. Techniques are great but if you’re in bed with a woman just doing her, like pushing this button or turning this knob, she’s will feel like you’re trying to get her off without connecting to her heart. Women need an emotional connection. They need you to be present with them.

I’m suggesting that the best way to be present is to learn lots of techniques and then stop focusing on them during sex. Let them become the natural things you know rather than thinking about them during the act of lovemaking. Techniques are a part of the background of your lovemaking not where you’re focusing your attention. Your attention is focused on her. You’re together with her in that interplay of lovemaking. You’re talking to her, kissing her, feeling her, and she’s feeling you. It’s an interplay of the two of you in a passionate back-and-forth in real-time that gets her feeling like you’re not just doing her like a piece of meat. Instead, she feels that you love being with her and you’re getting off on her in the way that she’s getting off on you. That’s the passionate romantic emotional lovemaking connection that gets women to have orgasms from intercourse.

Throughout it, you’re holding what I call a meta-frame, the big picture of what the dates going to be like. During a lovemaking session, once the environment of the context is safe for her, start from the outside in. I call this my ‘bullseye touch technique.’ Think about an archery target. All your life you’ve been trained to shoot for the center. But with women, you have to start on the outside rings and slowly work your way into that creamy center.

Too often, guys just go right for her nipples and genitals. I know you want her to almost immediately grab your penis at the start of sex, but that’s too fast for her. She’s a fire. You need to build a kindling, start the fire, blow on it and warm it up. You need to add bits of tinder and only after that, you can start putting the big logs on the fire.

You’re a light switch. You’re almost instantly ready to have sex as a man and that’s the primal way you are wired. You have to remember that she is a slow burn. That’s why it’s common knowledge that it takes 20 minutes for a woman to get turned on that’s the bare minimum. It takes a lot longer than 20 minutes if you want to make a woman multi-orgasmic if you want to give her penetration and all kinds of orgasms from intercourse.

Maybe you’re going to hold her and hug her first. Then you’re going to give her a massage, you’re going to touch her hands which are the outside edges. You’re going to rub her feet, rub her legs and her back and then you’re going to give her kisses when she’s ready. First, you’re going to kiss her eyebrows or eyelids or cheeks, her neck or collarbone before you go straight to her lips. That’s a bulls-eye. You’re going to work your way outside in with a bull’s eye touch technique. Then you’re going to start massaging her belly and maybe touch her breasts but not her nipples. You’re going to slowly open her until you can literally feel her relaxing in your arms. Then you’re going to breathe with her. Look her in the eyes. This is what creates the trust and connection that lets her come for you. Tell her how beautiful she is. Over time you will kiss her more deeply, brushing your lips across hers, and before you stick your tongue in her mouth, you can explore with the tip of your tongue.

Next, you could squeeze her buns, brush her nipples, and start petting her mons. Pet from the top to the bottom the way the fur grows on her yoni, the way you pet a kitty cat. Don’t go right into her vagina. Never ever stick your finger in her without asking or even start touching her clitoris until she invites you to do so or signals that she is ready. As her masculine leader, you have to have a master plan for the lovemaking date that warms her up. Think of it as an arc of what’s going to happen. You’ll start small, add to her desires, start taking your own peak, and peak and peak and then help her calm and quiet down at the end.

If you’re thinking I have to do all that work, let me assure you that once you fill her up with orgasms, once you remediate her orgasm deficit, she is going to be an incredible lover. You’re going to have way more, better and satisfying sex than all those other guys. You’re going to feel cocky and confident that the guys who don’t take the time to set the context and gorge her properly and have bedroom skills as you do will never have your kind of sex. Their penises are going to atrophy, they’re going to get older faster. Their partners are going to get bitchy because they’re not having good sex you’re going to have when you do these three things.

With what you’re piecing together here, you’re going to be in the top 1% of lovers. Most men don’t have any actual skill at giving women orgasms from intercourse. They are not in control of the outcome. They just get lucky with a woman who can have orgasms with intercourse. Over time, you’re going to escalate her arousal with a variety of stimulation techniques that starts at her extremities and moves toward her genitals, breast tissue and her lips. These are her erogenous areas. You’re going to go from kissing to oral to penetration. This ramp of arousal helps her have orgasms from intercourse. Hopefully, she’ll be screaming your name as she comes repeatedly, and as the date winds down you’ll end up with her back in your arms.

Over a few lovemaking dates, she will start to orgasm from your fingers which are your most dexterous of all sex tools. Hence, get good with those clean beefy fingers or your tongue or a vibrator but not penetration yet.

Give her as many orgasms as you can before you slip inside and instead of trying to pound her, probe in there and feel her vagina with your penis. Stroke and stimulate the erectile tissue inside her, look in her eyes, stroke her clitoris, play with her nipples, kiss her slowly, keep the stimulation going while you’re inside her and watch what feels good to her.

Over time you’ll be taking what works to stimulate her to orgasm and be doing it just before or when you enter her. In time, she’ll have orgasms while you’re penetrating her. My fellow sexologist Sherry Winston describes it as ‘orgasmic cross-training.’ You’re leveraging the orgasmic pleasure she gets from one modality into another one, penetration sex.

As your trust together grows, as her confidence in you grows, and as you get good at stimulating her, one day she’s going to have an orgasm from intercourse with your penis inside her.

Now, will this work in 100 percent of women? No, it won’t. There’s been too much social shame, body negation, religious repression, sexual abuse, fear, lack of knowledge, lack of experience ad nauseam for me to say that context, variety and engorgement will overcome all that shaming. But using these three techniques has worked for so many couples who’d given up. That this is my best advice for you.

The singularly most important skill for giving women intense orgasmic pleasure is called engorgement, and if you’ve never heard of it, you’re in for a big surprise.

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