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How To Rekindle The Passion That Was Once There

How To Rekindle The Passion That Was Once There

“Now, we get into the stuff nobody ever told you about keeping your married sex life exciting. What you’ll find is that you’ve thought you were being a “nice guy” and you were actually emasculating yourself with the actions you’ve taken.”

(Girlfriend, this is written to a guy, but you can teach your man how to do these techniques as a couples rekindling project. And here is an article about Why Men Stop Having Sex.)

“You will begin to get an understanding of how to take the next steps to turn her body back on, then how seduce her*, how to take control of the bedroom again…”

What does it take to create soulmate relationships? After years of helping couples, I’ve discovered the 6 most important aspects of the relationship of your dreams. Download my best-selling book, Sexual Soulmates: The 6 Essentials to Connected Sex on Amazon.

I recently attended an event where I saw people I’ve known for 15 years or more. Now they are in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s and are turning to me for personal sex advice.

I sat down with a few —mostly men who had put career above home life in the striving to get ahead in the rat race of high tech — to help them rekindle the passion in their marriages.

They are getting to the age where they feel they’ve squandered their passion with their partners in exchange for career success. They are wondering if it’s POSSIBLE to rekindle their sex lives with their wives. Or if they are even attracted to their partner anymore…


“Hi Susan,

Great to see you at TED. I’m wondering what instructional materials you would recommend I start with? I am married, and looking to re-start passion and explore together.

(Name withheld)”


Of course, I wasted no time and made sure to give him the best advice I know, the same advice I share with my clients and readers.

Here’s my reply…



First, start with my Relationship Magic workbook.

This is an exercise you do with your wife on a dinner date. It explains in the book how to approach her to get her to do it.

Doing this workbook together will help you understand if you are meeting her needs completely in your current relationship. It will help her tell you how to make her happy with you so that there is nothing blocking her from wanting to be with you sexually.

“If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

This will give you a simple checklist of what she needs most from you. Once her needs are being met, the path is clear to proceed toward romance and then sex.  

With women, there are conditions that must be met for them to want to be physically intimate. Having her basic relationship needs met is the foundation condition.

And lest you think this is all about her, the Relationship Magic Values exercise will also help you explain to her how important affection and passion are for you… sowing the seeds for the next part.

The next part is inside my book, The Passion Patch. If she’s been avoiding being affectionate with you, afraid to “start something,” these touches will begin to awaken her muscle memory about the fact that she does like to be touched.

Start using the under-the-radar touch techniques inside The Passion Patch and noticing which she responds best to. During this part of the rekindling process you are going to begin reminding her body that it likes your touch.

Doing the Relationship Values exercise is overt. You do it with her.

It’s a “relationship check in.”

But The Passion Patch touch is covert. You do this in stealth-mode because directly asking her for sex is just going to get you rejected, or get you mercy sex. And what you want is her to WANT you.

You want her to initiate intimacy. You want her to be excited about sex. And head-on touching her to get sex will backfire at this point.

Next, select a few romantic ideas from my book, 30 Romance Tricks That Work Like Magic. Your wife needs to be returned emotionally to the time of courtship with you. Particularly focus on the romance gestures that MOVE her body. Moving her body moves her emotions. She needs to begin feeling you again emotionally before she will want you sexually.

The good news is, all three of these books, Relationship Magic, The Passion Patch and 30 Romance Tricks are all short and to the point with specific instructions that decode your wife’s reluctance to have wild, passionate sex with you. They are what you need to begin moving her toward sexual pleasure.  

Another piece of good news is that you’ll be having fun. You’ll be talking about your relationship in the first part, which she loves. You’ll be touching her and you’ll be romancing her again in ways you’ve likely neglected.

Remember that sex is FUN. You are building a platform of fun again before adding on any sexual structure.

Essentially you’re filling up her love tank in the way women need to be filled to want you for sex.

You’re laying the necessary ground work for her to rediscover why she married you in the first place. You must be consistent with the touch and romance. Show her you can hug her without it turning into a bid for sex. Don’t rush things. Savor being her romantic hero.

Now, we get into the stuff nobody ever told you about keeping your married sex life exciting. What you’ll find is that you’ve thought you were being a “nice guy” and you were actually emasculating yourself with the actions you’ve taken.

If you have any resentment or anger, try and let it go now. You’re on track to rekindle your passion and this is where you are going to get educated on how to be the husband she wants to hop on top of and have wild, passionate sex with. So stay with me here.

If you have to, write down in your calendar what you’re going to do a couple times a week to romance her.  Making plans for fun dates will increase her attraction to you. A man who makes plans for romance is a masculine leader. Women want to have sex with romantic men. So make it happen.

This is where we begin to move into teaching you what you don’t know about long-term monogamous sexual desire. While you are doing the Passion Patch touching and the Romance Tricks wooing, you will be reading the Revive Her Drive Fast Start Guide. Do not share this with your wife. This is about YOUR education.

In Revive Her Drive you will begin to understand the Four Elements of Revival. This is where you revive her sex drive.

The four elements are:

  • Romance Her (you’re doing that with the romance tricks)
  • Re-awaken Her Sensually and Seduce Her Mind (you’re beginning to do this with the Passion Patch touch)
  • Re-inject Polarity (you’re beginning to do this with the romantic dates and the way you begin to touch her)
  • (And… DO NOT RUSH THIS ONE) Advanced Sexual Mastery Techniques.

You’re going to listen to or read (I suggest both so you really internalize the ideas) all the Revive Her Drive modules.

After you skim the Fast Start Guide to get the big picture of what you’re going for here, you can listen and read the modules in any order you feel like in the moment. You’ll want to listen to a few of them more than once. In listening to them you will begin to get an understanding of how to take the next steps to turn her body back on, then how seduce her*, how to take control of the bedroom again, and all kinds of valuable insights into how to handle a woman’s body and sexuality from Zone Theory to taking over her nervous system and on and on.

I have helped thousands of men around the world of all ages have the best sex of their lives — beyond the newlywed sex they once thought was their gold standard — by following the four elements of revival. These techniques are battle-tested. They work.

Every relationship is unique.  There are specific primal mechanisms at work between the sexes and then there are all the individual experiences that comprise your sexual dynamics.

Think about Revive Her Drive as a newly constructed house. I’m going to give you the foundation and the framework. Then you are going to cherry pick from myriad techniques inside the program to add the drywall, the fixtures, the flooring to your taste.

You will have a good sense of where you can bolster your skills as you listen to and read the modules. They are loaded to bursting with awesome, fun, sexy ways to get your wife to start coming to you again for physical intimacy.

Do you have some “work” to do? Yes. But it’s actually fun.

You’re going to see her respond almost immediately to the values exercise, the romance, the touches.. and then the four elements of revival.

I am here if you have questions. And yes, you will hit roadblocks, you will backslide into old, needy behaviors. That’s ok. You are rewiring the way you interact. And in a few months you’ll look back and see that you and your wife are having a renaissance in your relationship, and especially in your closeness, your nude cuddling, your kissing, touching and laughing.

And the advanced sexual mastery techniques inside Revive Her Drive are just a start.

From here I can teach you how to give her multiple orgasms, expanded orgasms, ejaculatory orgasms and more. (From Keep Her Coming, Expand Her Orgasm Tonight and Female Liquid Orgasm.) I can teach you how to overcome genital atrophy — yours and hers. I can show you how to have everlasting stamina through our ME Breath technique inside Multi-Orgasmic Lover for Men.

But it’s not just about technique. It’s about becoming sexual soulmates. It’s about transforming sex into passionate lovemaking. In my decade of field-testing techniques with people from around the world, from all religions, single and married, across the gender spectrum, there are six essentials for connected sex. I’ve explained them in terms so simple you two can start doing them the next time you have sex. These six essentials are outlined in my #1 international best-selling book, Sexual Soulmates.

You can do things to her or you can move to a passionate interplay as lovers. Sexual Soulmates is the map to that territory. And it’s something that once you’ve rekindled her desire, you can read and learn together.

And when she’s turned on and enjoying all the new pleasuring techniques and soulmate skills you are sharing, you can watch my Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection together. Just promise me you’ll start with the first module and work your way up together.

Because women are a wood fire and men are a light switch. You might be always on, but she needs warming up. You might be able to watch the sex position stimulators or the oral pleasuring modules, but she needs to start with sensual massage. Then work up to erotic massage and then move on from there. Rushing makes everything take LONGER.

This is your path to pleasure. It’s a long, beautiful journey. You put one foot in front of the other. Take her hand. And lead her there.

Rekindle Your Passion Now!



P.S. If you get to the seduction stage and want deeper information on running menus and small offers that are mentioned inside Revive Her Drive, dig into The Seduction Trilogy. It will show you how to lead your woman toward more pleasure with a killer seduction model that works on wives.


There you go, Sweetie.

I know that was a long read, but it’s basically your blueprint to becoming a phenomenal lover and partner, so you can reignite and rekindle the passion that was once there.

And if you’re single, you can use this to prepare yourself so you won’t have to go through any of the usual mistakes and downfalls a lot of people go through in their relationships and sex life.

You’ll already have the knowledge and skills necessary to take on anything that comes your way.

And if you’re a woman, this is especially wonderful information you can pass on to your husband. You can even read these yourself so you can get the ball rolling and bring back that fiery, hot passion.

Remember, it’s a process.

Nothing here is instant because your relationship and sex life isn’t a temporary thing.

So you’ll have to invest a little bit of time and energy on this.

The great news is, this gives you a proven-to-work path ahead of you.  No more dead ends, detours, and U-turns.

Keep Loving,

Here’s a recap of the books and programs I talked about above.

Relationship Magic ⇐ Synchronize your romantic and erotic needs and desires

Passion Patch ⇐ Where To Touch A Woman To Turn Her On In 30 Seconds Flat

30 Romance Tricks ⇐ Romantic Ideas To Move Your Woman Physically And Emotionally Back To That “Courtship” Feeling

Revive Her Drive ⇐ Bring Back The Fiery, Hot Lovemaking You Both Deserve

Keep Her Coming ⇐ Ride Her Sensual Wave Of Pleasure And Give Her Multiple Orgasms

Expand Her Orgasm Tonight ⇐ Give Your Woman The Heightened, Expanded Orgasmic Experience That Stops Time And Keeps Her Saddled On A Never-Ending Climax

Female Liquid Orgasm ⇐ Give Her The Experience Of Wild, Explosive, Gushing Climaxes She’s Never Had Before

Multi-Orgasmic Lover for Men ⇐ The 3-Step Technique That Gives You Unlimited Stamina, Rock-Hard Erections, And Triggers Her Vaginal “O’s”

Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection ⇐ Over 200 Advanced, Slow, Heart-Connected Lovemaking Techniques, Sensual Massages, And Oral Play Ideas

Seduction Trilogy ⇐ Your Blueprint To Seducing Your Lover Into An Endless Erotic Experience

Sexual Soulmates ⇐ My #1 International Best-selling Book



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  1. you sure know how to be sexy!!would like to put my shoes under your BED!

  2. IHOP my name is Ozzie I am a woman and I need information on pleasing a man . Thank you

  3. I am a woman I need information on pleasure a man

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