What Happens When Her Sexual Energy Goes Up Too Fast
“Is my sexual energy causing premature ejaculation?”
“Think of sexual energy as your “life force,” to supercharge your feelings of pleasure, connect with each other more deeply and be more attuned to one another as well as experience more vitality.” — Susan Bratton
Last week’s article on Sexual Energy generated a number of questions from men about women’s sexual energy and about the relationship between premature ejaculation struggles and sexual energy.
What happens when a woman’s sexual energy goes up too fast?
If sexual energy is a component of orgasm, why do you say it can disable an orgasm?
I ejaculate in less than a minute during intercourse. Can sexual energy be causing my problem?
Let’s break it down…
A simple way to explain Sexual Energy is as a feeling you get in your body that you cannot see. You feel your sexual energy as arousal or turn-on. You can gauge your lover’s arousal by your senses.
My friend Jim Benson explains orgasmic or sexual energy as being like two tuning forks. If you tap a tuning fork and hold it next to another tuning fork, the second fork will begin to reverberate at the same frequency as the first. This happens sexually when your lover picks up on your sexual energy and gets turn on because of it.
I often write about Polarity, or the magnetic pull of the masculine/feminine. That’s also energy.
And here’s the thing about our nervous systems. We have a sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system and they need to be stimulated equally. One needs to feel calm and safe while the other needs the excitation. Safety without exciting is a boring sex life.
So what happens when a woman’s sexual energy goes up too fast? She pulls away. She has to “ground” herself if you push her too hard too fast. Slow arousal and stair-stepping stimulation with grounding strokes actually takes your lover to higher heights of sexual ecstasy faster than just giving them up, up, up, up, up all the time.
Excitation grounded in safety is the PERFECT combination, because too much stimulation blows our circuits. That is why a woman’s clitoris can get easily over stimulated without the grounding effect of pussy massage and engorgement.
STAIR STEP YOUR AROUSAL FOR MORE TURN ON
Dr. Patti’s Expanded Orgasm practice teaches you how to feel each other’s energy and connect in ONENESS. Part of the Expanded Orgasm practice includes learning how to give a woman “intentional down strokes” on her clitoris. When you can bring a woman’s energy up or down with your subtle energy systems, you can expand the length of her climax and string multiple, long climaxes together so she can lie there and come for an hour for you (once you get good at it).
THE EXPANDED ORGASM IS DIFFERENT
All beings can stay IN expanded states of orgasm. It’s about learning to get into an orgasmic state and then stay in there with small rests to go higher and higher into more pleasure.
For a dozen years Tim and I have been having Expanded Orgasm dates a couple times a week. We recently did a video describing our practice if you want to see it.
EXPANDED ORGASM VIDEO <== Suz and Tim Explain Expanded Orgasm
If sexual energy leads to orgasm, why can this energy disable an orgasm?
If you let your energy drop you could move away from orgasm. Or if you let your sexual energy go too fast and as a man you ejaculate, then sex is over.
Jim Benson’s Multi-Orgasmic Lover for Men program teaches you the ME Breath technique which allows a man to accelerate and decelerate his arousal levels with a body-based technique you can use during lovemaking. If you come too fast or too slowly, the ME Breath teaches your body to speed up or slow down so you can come when you want to.
He also teaches you both the Chi Energy and Energy Cock techniques. Energy Cock is an amazing men’s sexual leadership skill… Your lover can make you feel like you are making love without even touching you. Exciting!
Now with a woman, if you take her to high too fast and she gets overstimulated, the sex is over. For example, if you overstimulate her clit, she doesn’t want to be touch there anymore.
Instead, stair-step her arousal by delivering stimulation, with little tiny breaks in between (orgasmic peaking) and she will reach for more instead of her circuits getting blown.
If you’d like to begin your awareness of the Expanded Orgasm practice, here are three free reports from Dr. Patti that explain, What IS Expanded Orgasm? Orgasmic Peaking (this is the stair-stepping, giving intentional grounding that I mentioned above.) and Touch For Rapture. <== One of the Simplest, Most Amazing Lover Skills EVER… And these are free. Go get them.
Expanded Orgasm is a solution for clitoral fatigue, for any woman who struggles to have orgasms, or for any woman who wants to become reliably multi-orgasmic.
Expanded Orgasm is the solution for helping women become orgasmic during intercourse. It was what finally allowed me to have orgasms from intercourse when I was 45 years old.
EO is also a way couples with ED or vaginal health issues can stay intimately orgasmic.
There is so much to this EO practice. It’s changed my life. It’s changed MANY peoples lives.
It’s really what brought Tim and I back together when we were barely having sex and Expanded Orgasm is something you get better at your whole life.
It’s just really, really special.
I hope you’ll consider learning the simple stroking patterns with your partner. (you can also do this to yourself and all the concepts work on men as well as women)