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How To Ask For What You Need In A Relationship

How To Ask For What You Need In A Relationship

“He should know by now how much that upsets me.”

“Why can’t he try to figure it out? Why do I always have to tell him?”

“She can’t take a hint.”

“If he really loved me, he’d know what I mean.”

The seven ways to make love really work according to Carolyn N. Bushong, author of, “The 7 Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make.”

MAKE LOVE WORK

Do you expect your partner to read your mind?

This strategy is doomed to fail, according to Carolyn N. Bushong, author of The 7 Dumbest Relationship Mistakes.

It’s unfair to your partner and to yourself because you will continually be angry because you don’t get what you want.

You will begin to feel like you are not really loved. And all because you are not communicating.

Carolyn warns that because women generally talk about their feelings more easily, they need to make sure they give their guys time to respond instead of steamrolling over them.

Here are her suggested Four Steps To Healthy Communication.

4 STEPS TO HEALTHY COMMUNICATION

1. Express yourself. “I feel [a specific emotion] whenever you [specify exactly what he or she does].”

2. State what you want. “I want [a specific behavior].”

3. Ask for a commitment. “Will you [give me what I want – be even more specific]?”

4. Outline the consequences of your mate’s reluctance or refusal to commit themselves to change: “If not, I will [state specifically what you will do].”

If this feels like you’re issuing an ultimatum, just be careful that you are not threatening and are even-handed in your emotions. It’s important to make it clear that you are holding yourself and your partner accountable for their behavior. Eliminating the fear of the unknown removes a significant amount of stress between you two.

Give this a try and make sure you don’t miss all seven of the mistakes even smart people make to ruin their relationship.

The seven ways to make love really work according to Carolyn N. Bushong, author of, “The 7 Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make.”

If you haven’t yet completed your Relationship Magic workbook, how the heck are you going to get what you want in your relationship? And to ask for what you want, you have to know what you want.

Relationship Magic is the exercise that helps you zero in on what is most important to you so you can tell your partner and they will have a clear understanding about how to make you the most happy.

2 Comments

  1. PLEASE SEND ME THE BOOK

  2. Thanks for the advice

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