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How To Ask For What You Need In A Relationship

How To Ask For What You Need In A Relationship

Read on to learn how to ask for what you need in a relationship.

All us hens and roosters cooped up together can be a challenge. So here’s a nice tip to help you get more intimate with your partner while we’re stuck inside together so you can avoid this:

“He should know by now how much that upsets me.”

“Why can’t he try to figure it out? Why do I always have to tell him?”

“She can’t take a hint.”

“If he really loved me, he’d know what I mean.”

Do you expect your partner to read your mind?

This strategy is doomed to fail according to Carolyn N. Bushong, author of The 7 Dumbest Relationship Mistakes.

It’s unfair to your partner and to yourself because you will continually be angry that you don’t get what you want.

You will begin to feel like you are not really loved —all because you are not communicating.

Carolyn warns that because women generally talk about their feelings more easily, they need to make sure they give their guys time to respond instead of steamrolling over them.

Here are her Four Steps on how to ask for what you need in a relationship.

  1. First, express yourself. “I feel [a specific emotion] whenever you [specify exactly what he or she does].”

Click Here For Relationship Magic ⇐ Why Treating Your Partner How You Want To Be Treated Is Actually Making Things Worse 


  1. Secondly, state what you want. “I want [a specific behavior].”
  2. Ask for a commitment. “Will you [give me what I want – be even more specific]?”
  3. Outline the consequences of your mate’s reluctance or refusal to commit themselves to change: “If not, I will [state specifically what you will do].”

Be careful to not sound threatening so that it won’t feel like you’re issuing an ultimatum. That is why you need to be kind, compassionate and even-keeled in your emotions.

It’s important to make it clear that you are holding yourself and your partner accountable for their behavior. Hence, eliminating the fear of the unknown removes a significant amount of stress between you two.

Give this a try and make sure you don’t miss all seven of the mistakes that even smart people make to ruin their relationship.

My most favorite things to do to initiate intimacy and warmth with your partner is to use the Soulmate Embrace, a special way of holding your partner that puts you both in the mood for understanding, presence, and openness.

I’d also love for you to check out Relationship Magic, one of my most foundational books on communication techniques to create love and intimacy in your relationship or re-sparking lost romance.

Click Here For Relationship Magic ⇐ How To Ask For What You Need In A Relationship.

Print this cheatsheet out:

how to ask for what you need in a relationship



  2. Thanks for the advice

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