Unless you are in a monogamous relationship, getting frequent STD tests will keep you and your partners safe from passing diseases to each other. Wet sex, the kind where you are sharing fluids including saliva, ejaculate and female ejaculate, along with lots of organic, natural lube such as avocado, coconut or grapeseed oil is primally satisfying. So if you want to have wet sex, it’s best to be “fluid bonded.”
When sexual partners are “fluid bonded,” they have all agreed to be monogamous to each other and have had a battery of tests to ensure that they do not have STD’s. You can be a “fluid bonded” couple, or you can have a “fluid bonded” group if you are in a polyamorous relationship. This keeps you all safe from getting STDs such as syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, HSV (herpes – both oral which is type 1 and genital or type 2), HPV (genital warts) in addition to HIV, trichomoniasis and even scabies and other parasites.
Of course, the bottom line is trust and integrity. A person could conceivably get their full battery of STD tests and have unprotected sex the next day and catch something they then pass on to you. So it’s important to make love to high-quality people whose word you trust and always have a Safe Sex Conversation.
The incubation periods for many STD’s can be a number of weeks, so I recommend that you use condoms or abstain from oral sex and intercourse for a minimum of 12 weeks before getting your tests and sharing results with anyone you want to be fluid bonded with. You really need to wait the full 3 months and then get tested if you’re going to fluid bond with a lover.
What STD Tests You Need?
Here are the tests to get:
- HIV (blood test often with immediate results)
- Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia (urine test)
- Herpes: HSV 1 & 2 (blood test)
- I also recommend that you get a Hepatitis vaccination. There are three kinds of Hepatitis: A, B & C. You can’t be tested for A. You can be vaccinated for B. You can be tested for B&C.
Note: There is talk in the STD testing community that Lyme Disease may also be sexually transmitted. This has not yet had proper research applied to it, and definitive information may take years. If you want to be ultra safe (and why wouldn’t you), it’s also important to either test or at least discuss whether a prospective partner has Lyme Disease. If you have Lyme, get informed.
Bottom line: if you’re going to have wet sex with a new partner, abstain from putting your mouths on each others’ genitals and do not have genital to genital contact until you both get the above tests and exchange current paperwork. And READ the paperwork.
Here is an excellent resource for knowing what kinds of sexual activities are most and least safe and how to protect yourself:
Conscious Safe Sex Guide <=== Click Here To Read
Learn how to get each other off with kissing and your hands. It’s hot. You’ll generate pent up desire which will make the time you are erotically connected even more pleasurable.
Even with kissing you are susceptible to getting oral herpes. And some people have genital herpes in their mouths and nasal cavities. That’s why it’s important to do a visual check AND make love to people with integrity.
If your lover comes back with test results showing positive for Herpes, they can take a viral inhibitor (generic is acyclovir) in a 400 mg dose daily to suppress the virus as way to reduce your chances of catching Herpes. Most people with Herpes know when they are about to have an outbreak and can abstain from contact to protect their partner. But if you are unsure, you can increase your chances of staying uninfected with the suppression strategy. It’s not a perfect situation but many couples have been fluid bonded and having wet sex for 10, 20 even 30 years without the infected partner giving their lover Herpes.
The other disease that you have to be careful of is HPV. That’s genital warts. And apparently there are scads of different strains of them. Women can get vaccinated for this and HPV is checked for during a woman’s PAP exam. Apparently men cannot be tested. So make sure your woman gets her PAP tests.
My girlfriend went to get tested today by her doctor and they charged her over $500 to get tested. That is robbery! Go to your local Planned Parenthood if you are lucky enough to have one in your area. They have excellent facilities and experience as well as low cost testing.
If you or your lady is on the pill, also talk to Planned Parenthood or your medical clinic about using an IUD instead of being on the pill. Synthesized hormones from big pharma can take their toll on a woman’s endocrine system. For now, there are bio-identical hormones for hormone replacement but not yet for birth control. The IUD can be put in at a Planned Parenthood and can last for 5-10 years without requiring a woman to take hormones.
Even if a woman is on the pill or an IUD, she will still need to use barrier methods (condoms, dams) to protect herself from STD’s unless she’s fluid bonded with you.
It is your responsibility to know if you have any STDs or viral infections before making love to another human being. Keep your tests up to date. Make sure your lovers get tested regularly. Set a good example of integrity and share this knowledge with your lovers so they can spread the word on safe sex instead of spreading sexually transmitted diseases.
I talked to the Teen Specialist at Planned Parenthood last week and he told me that Syphilis and Teen Pregnancy are on the RISE, worse than ever. I asked him why? He said because of social media. In the “old days” kids didn’t have as much access to each other. Now they SnapChat and text incessantly and are able to have a wider circle of “closer” friends, which results in more hookups.
With nearly half of all high school kids sexually active and the numbers growing, if you have a teen, make sure to get them tested and protected too. Educate yourself, your lovers, your friends and the teens and young adults in your life.
how about STD testing for women?
Thanks, Julie. I’ve been meaning to update that post. It’s done.
I have come to realize the disease that i never knew was in existence and so i will be extra careful.
I like this subject and please keep teaching us more.
This is high quality advice! The biggest issue addressed here is personal accountability.
This includes the need to be tested when one has engaged in any higher risk activity. High risk activity includes sex with those you feel you can trust because guess what, it is not worth the risk!
Bottom line, get tested, now!