Want to engender your woman’s femininity?
Want to inspire her erotic abandon?
Want hot, sexy charge in the bedroom?
Want a deeply intimate relationship full of passion?
The answer is Polarity and increasing your masculine energy.
Polarity is the attraction of opposites – the magnetic pull of the masculine/feminine.The Yin|Yang.
The more you bring your masculine energy to your relationship, the more your woman can be her feminine self, which makes lovemaking hotter, more intimate and more satisfying.
“Your blogs and emails have been nothing short of amazing. Your newsletter is a blessing for relationships everywhere! As a result our lovemaking has been over the top. We now find ourselves not only wanting more lovemaking but actually having more. Believe me my wife’s sexual desires are much stronger now and she is in her mid 50′s. I want more and she wants more.”
Polarity is one of the Four Elements of Revival outlined in Revive Her Drive – the four steps it takes to turn your sexual relationship from flat or worsening to turned-on and slipping pleasurably up what I call “the upward pleasure spiral”.
Many members write to me asking me to define polarity and explain ways to be more masculine in relationship. This 25 minute audio is my answer to how you do just that.
Polarity by Susan Bratton Right click on any of the purple download button to save the MP3 and/or transcript to your desktop. ===>>>
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Here’s how to cultivate more POLARITY – the attraction of opposites – the magnetic attraction of masculine energy to the feminine.
Our culture and feminism have eroded polarity which needs to exist for attraction and passion to happen in the bedroom.
Today’s marital team approach bleeds into and inhibits the polarity that is required for erotic turn on.
What can a man do to get polarity back? Many thing that you will find she naturally responds to in a more feminine, appreciate way such as:
Taking ownership of the health and happiness of your relationship. Are you playing the bigger game? Putting your relationship above your individual happiness?
Fostering her respect through respecting yourself, setting boundaries around the quality of communication you will allow in your relationship, proving a secure and safe place for your woman to feel stable and relaxed.
You want to create more masculinity in your own way of being so she feels drawn to you.
If you begin to reward her and give her approval she will feel more secure.
She’s looking for your leadership, she wants your approval, no matter how strong and self-sufficient she is. If you’ve allowed the power to slip over into her control… If she makes the decisions, the plans, and determines what’s acceptable in your relationship, if she sets the tone, then you have forfeited your masculine leadership. This is one of the biggest marriage wreckers… You must take charge now.
When you take control back you must use, “appropriate dominance.” This means that though you are the leader in setting your plans and strategies for living life together, you are always taking into account her needs and seeing life through her eyes and getting her feedback before you make unilateral decisions that may upset her. She wants you to take control, but not at her expense.
Since you are always training her with everything you do, where ever you are now in your interrelating is because of the actions you’ve taken to date. To change how you relate, you must start by changing your own behavior.
If you begin to appreciate her and give her affection, and you fill her up with these two things, you will begin to receive them both back from her.
You must cultivate your own self-confidence, your own air of certainty. She is your charge and your inner strength in navigating life’s pleasures and challenges will help her relax into her femininity and give you the affection you so crave.
Take time to generate an emotional connection to her – get her talking about her emotions, how she feels, what is going on inside her mind and her body. Don’t be afraid of her emotions. Welcome them. Remember that your strength is her lifeline to her emotional feelings. You are the riverbanks, she is the river. You are the tree, rooted deeply in the earth and she is the hurricane, sometimes raging all around you, while you stand firm, solid and available.
When you’re not trying to fix, and instead just listen to her emotional dialogs, she will feel more safe and protected and secure, which will lead to deeper intimacy together. This concept is called, “holding space,” and is very powerful.
When you hold space for her, you make it ok for her to be completely honest and say and do what ever she needs to do and say to feel the emotions she needs to feel as a woman. Honesty: can she tell you ANYTHING? If the answer is no, you need to create that trust with her. Find out what would allow her to be completely and totally open with you. And give her that. Then she can relax around you and she’ll feel more open to being sexual with you, because she knows you are her protector and that she is fundamentally important to you.
As well, when you are both strong and secure in yourself and committed to caring for her as your woman, sharing YOUR deepest fears and regrets will bring you two closer together. This kind of vulnerability, without neediness, bonds you two together more deeply. Vulnerability also creates trust for her to surrender in your arms.
In the bedroom, you must show your pleasure in being with her and respect her for being sexual with you. When you reward her for sexy behavior, she will give you more of it.
Further to being the man she can rely on, you also want to cultivate your own life force. If you are a man with a mission, a man who has an ambitious plan to live his life as a wild, exciting, beautiful adventure, she will want to participate in your life with gusto.
Women want playful adventures with their man.
Women want to be transported erotically.
If you cultivate your confidence and personal authority, take leadership over your relationship together and then bring pleasure into her life everyday, you will see her blossom into the kind of woman you treasure.
If she can trust that you’ll take care of her, she can stop worrying about that and be more pleasurable for you.
Instead of begging for sex, or bargaining for it by “doing chores,” you’ll become the man she wants to be with. Get out of your scarcity mindset and bring abundance to your relationship. Celebrate tastes, sounds, smells, touch – get her to feel life’s pleasures again as you put attention on her, only her, all her for some time each day.
You can take these strategies into the physical realm too.
Encourage her femininity by taking her shopping for a sexy outfit.
“Claim her” physically by putting your arms around her, holding her hand, putting your hands on the small of her back.
You can also be her “voice of authority.” Tell her what’s about to happen during your lovemaking. Lead her, guide her, pre-frame her sexual excitement.
The Alpha Male is the cross between the “cool guy” and the “big brother.” You want to tease and play with her in ways that highlight sweet things about her. She’ll feel like you love and appreciate her more when in addition to romantic loving and sexual loving, you also tease her playfully.
Just watch her smile when you notice something clever or cute that she’s doing and tease her positively about it. Just never shame or humiliate her or make a joke at her expense!
Confident men with personal authority are not stressed, not whiny, not rigid – they are relaxed and playful.
If you want to focus on cultivating more masculinity in your life start with being playful, noticing her and appreciating her, rewarding her for behaviors that bring you joy and further you can also:
Make sure she knows your life plan.
Go for a promotion at work and show her you are ambitious.
Push a skill set or hobby to the next level of mastery.
Give yourself a little make over. When did you last get your teeth cleaned? New glasses? A new haircut? Wear a shirt she likes? Get fashionable shoes? Cut, clean and file your nails? Manscape that unruly nest down there? How can you show up as more desirable to her?
When you focus on your continued personal growth, your woman will want to ride that ride with you.
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