Episode 17 - Orgasmic Meditation: Clitoral Communion for Shared Pleasure, Sensation, and Awareness with Nicole Daedone of OneTaste Urban Retreat Center

Orgasmic Meditation: Clitoral Communion for Shared Pleasure, Sensation, and Awareness: Dr. Patti Talks to Nicole Daedone of OneTaste™ Urban Retreat Center

Announcer:  This program is intended for mature audiences only.

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Dr. Patti Taylor:  Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking show.  I’m your host, Dr. Patti Taylor, of expandedlovemaking.com, and I teach people how to give and receive way more pleasure than they ever dreamed possible.  Today on the show, we are talking about orgasmic meditation, a shared path to pleasure, sensation, and awareness.  Our guest is Nicole Daedone, founder of the One Taste Urban Retreat Center.  Welcome Nicole!

Nicole Daedone:  Hi Patty!  It’s great to be here.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  It’s great to have you here Nicole.  Nicole started the One Taste Urban Retreat Center in San Francisco in 2004.  They offer workshops delving into sensuality, communication, and consciousness. They also offer yoga, massage, parties, and healthy food to promote a true sense of total immersion. 

They have a vibrant community, currently of about 50 people, who practice Nicole’s teachings, and help bring this information into the world.  Nicole’s teachings of orgasmic meditation have already touched thousands of people’s lives.  One Taste is into new ventures too, and rapidly expanding.  Oh, I like that, expanding!

Nicole Daedone:  We are expanding.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  You are expanding.  So, today we have a special opportunity to learn more about Nicole, orgasmic meditation, and One Taste.  Well, let’s get started then, with a few questions about One Taste.  So, I’ve just described One Taste.  Nicole, I’d love to hear you tell our listeners, what is One Taste to you, in your words?

Nicole Daedone:  Well, it was interesting when you were saying “Nicole’s teachings”.  I was thinking that, primarily, if my teaching were anything, it would be something around the idea of open source.  It’s – so One Taste would be a representation of that, where people can come, almost like a spiritual youth hostel, where travelers who are on their journey can come and share and exchange stories and information, specifically in the arena of sensuality.  That’s just one of the areas of spirituality that we didn’t close off.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  OK, great!  OK, right.  So you have a background of training in several different areas, if I understand, Buddhism, Theosophies, Semantics, Kabbalah, and traditional Judaism.  So can you add to this, or do you just welcome all the things?  What of these is your favorite?  Which of these has influenced where you are now?

Nicole Daedone:  You know, I’d say my richest, most salient expression, would be in Semantics.  And that’s simply because it gives a framework for all other information to enter. And there’s this fundamental idea that all things are true and valid, and to take in information with that attitude and let your body or being determine whether or not something is important.  So I think that would be the framework that all the other information’s come through for me.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  OK, great!  So people come to One Taste, and what do they do there in an exploration for themselves, and they use these tools of any religion, any doctrine that they want to examine?  Is that correct?

Nicole Daedone:  Right, so what we do, is we kind of go back to the basic idea of a primordial soup, where we didn’t have the membrane wrapped around us.  And so there’s access to every kind of information any one of us would want access to in order to find resonance with our own internal self.  So, you can walk in and you can taste all of these different flavors from some of the world’s experts.  And then you can put together what works for your own body, with the idea of developing a conscience practice. 

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Wow!  I ha – I’m thinking some of our listeners must be thinking, “I must be dreaming!” when they hear of this.  That almost sounds like the golden age, or a throwback to the ‘60s, or some kind of a utopia, you know?  I almost feel that when I hear that. 

Nicole Daedone:  You know, it’s funny – I had two thoughts.  One is, you know when you – women will recognize this.  When you go shopping and you buy lipstick, sometimes you can get a gift with purchase, and you get to try everything, and you get to sort of determine what you actually want to buy.  That was kind of the idea, a chance for everyone to come in and get a taste.

 But – and then when you say “utopia”, there’s this sort of expansive, far reaching feeling to the idea of utopia.  I kind of like the idea of, more like Alice Waters has   “The Garden” – “The Educational Garden” – I can’t remember exactly what it’s called.  But the idea that it’s very local, and very immediate, and very accessible.  That it’s not anything, a dream of anything from over there.  It’s something that’s available right now and right here. 

Dr Patti Taylor:  I got that, yeah.  So to say that it would be a utopia would almost take away from the reality.  It’s like, this is really happening, you can really do this.

Nicole Daedone:  Right, yeah.  And then, you know, like, in my – in one of my Kabbalah classes, the rabbi, a very courageous rabbi, was saying during the time of Jesus, this information was rising up for everyone to hear.  And everyone was kind of basically hearing the same things; only he was the person most willing to speak it at the time.

 I think there is something that’s rising up that all of us are hearing, and it’s very simple.  It’s about sustainability.  It’s about integration.  It’s about connection.  And all of us are hearing it in all of these different forms, all the way from electronic forms to spirituality; everything’s being touched by this.  One Taste is just a location to tap into that voice that we’re all hearing.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  So when I hear you speak, I am just deeply moved.  I guess there’s something I feel that just brings so deeply powerful about what you’re saying.  I have this question and it’s like wow, you know, what happened inside of you?  Or where did you get your primary motivation to come to this point in your life to kind of be where you are today?  Can you point back to any one thing or series of things?

Nicole Daedone:  You know, in a – I can answer in so many different ways.  I’ll give you the most direct answer I know and that’s, you know, I had the circumstantial life.  I had the great circumstantial life.  I had an art gallery.   I had the partner.  I had – I was in a master’s program, everything I could possibly want.  My exercise program was good.

And my dad died and everything cracked.  And it wasn’t the particular circumstance of him dying, it was just the last piece that my brittle life could hold, and I just didn’t feel underneath it.  When he died, it cracked and all this feeling came forward, and ultimately what happened was a few people agreed to be my teachers, and to reintegrate me back in to a life of feeling, and everything is motivated by saying thank you.  I feel like I – you know I was talking to my teacher yesterday and I said, “I feel like a cat that was taken out of the pound right before I was ready to die.”

Dr. Patti Taylor:  OK.  Well, so before you cracked open, would you have ever guessed that you’d be where you are right now, today?   I mean, were there any inklings in your early life that you’d be leading the charge of waking up the world to orgasmic meditation an all the things we’re gonna be talking about, or is this kind of a surprise to you at all?  Or could you tell?

Nicole Daedone:  Well, yeah. I mean, I don’t think anybody’s a sensuality teacher – maybe, maybe somebody is, but I don’t think anybody is this immersed in sensuality, and isn’t surprised that they are, because it’s not a place that – no, I don’t think anybody is born and says, “I want to be a sensuality teacher when I grow up,” and have everybody have the thoughts that you think about sensuality teachers.  And then when I look back, there are things that seem like, “Oh, well of course I would have become this.” 

There’s the fact that I used to make circuses and have all the kids come to the circuses, and have all these different events, and then there’s the different dysfunctional elements and there’s all of these things that came into play.  And then here I am.  I’m not quite sure what it was.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  So do you ever wake up and go, “Oh my God!”

Nicole Daedone:  Oh yeah, oh yeah.  I mean, there are times when I still wake up and say, “I was supposed to be a – I was supposed to live in a monastery, what am I doing?  This is nuts!”  Yeah, yeah definitely.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  OK, good.  Well, that’s encouraging.  [laughter]  You’re not the only one.

Nicole Daedone:  No, no.  That’s one place where we definitely meet and we can see what it takes to, in a sense, like to be a free woman.  ‘Cause that’s I think that’s what it means to be a sens – to be immersed in sensuality.  It isn’t just like the kind of, “Oh baby I’m turned on.  I love sex.”  It’s about – reclaiming my sexuality is really, as a woman, my road to freedom.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Well you know, I’m really glad you said that, because I never really thought I was going to be in the sensuality business either.  So for me, it was kind of a major shock when I wound up here.  And I actually had to go through – sounds like you had a slightly easier path than me.  I had to go through a certain amount of adjustment to kind of get used to being where I am, and just dealing with what it means to take any kind of role in being vocal and standing up for orgasm and pleasure and sensuality. 

I think that’s part of why I so admire you, is because, maybe me more than a lot of other people, really resonates with what it takes to be a voice in the world and be a woman and just being out there.  So, I just totally admire what you’re doing in the world so tremendously.

Nicole Daedone:  Yeah, and I – I mean I feel that from you.  There’s no question about it.  And it’s funny, it’s such a strange world to be in and in some ways we have to have so much protection, being in this world, in terms of how people will perceive us.  In another sense, in order to really live in this world, you have to live truly vulnerably and in a deeply surrendered state.  That’s one of blessings of when I meet somebody else like you, who’s willing to live in that way.  There’s a deep level connection. 

The word “one taste”, the expression means once you’ve had one taste of the divine, nothing else will do, and you’ll do anything to get it.  It’s like I’m willing to withstand a tremendous amount of – you had said my road sounded easy.  It was a deeply tormented, painful, hard, thrilling, exciting, loving road.  But I was willing to withstand anything, because I had had a taste of that sensation.  And after that, nothing else seems real.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Yes, that’s what I have – that’s what you’ve told me, and that’s what I’ve heard about you, is that it has been a tremendous, amazing path for you.  Let’s talk a little bit about orgasmic meditation, because that’s what you really have brought into the world.  Could you tell us what this is?  This is actually your signature teaching, so what is it?

Nicole Daedone:  Well, it’s – you know we took from a lot of disciplines and you know Dr. Victor Bronco had sort of brought forth – birthed, birthed this idea around doing, which is deliberate orgasm.  And from that we get the physical idea of the practice, which is around a person stimulating the upper left hand quadrant of a woman’s clitoris in simple strokes.  Then, in terms of the intention and play in the practice, we took a lot from Buddhism, and breathing meditation, and with the idea, we just, we make the strokes very simple.  Up, down, up down, up, down, up down.  In the same way you can take off in breathing meditation from breath going in and out, in and out.  You can take off with this practice from up down strokes.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  OK, that sounds like a really easy start.  So, if a listener was really new to this – let’s say you were talking to a guy, could you be even a little more descriptive of what he might do, like go home tonight with a partner, after he turned on the candles and the nice music, then what?

Nicole Daedone:  Well, you know, and I’m saying this from my perspective, but if I were speaking to a guy, probably the first thing I would tell him is, “Most of the motion that she does, and most of the frustration that she feels is trying to get you on this spot.  And the spot is very tiny.” 

And the practice itself would be, say she would lie down and – I’ll say you’re the guy, and you don’t have to be a guy to do this, but I’ll just say you’re the guy – and she would lie down and you would put your thumb in her entroitis.  Her entroitis is the hole, the area where, if you’re having intercourse, and slightly there, and then you would put some lubrication on your finger.  You would slide up through her inner labia.  Those are the small lips.  And you would move your finger – there’s a small reservoir in between her clitoris and her hood.  Her hood is what comes over the pearl, which is the clitoris.  And in the upper left hand quadrant, that’s her upper left hand quadrant, you would stroke simply with the pressure that you would stroke an eyeball.  Up, down, up, down, up, down.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Mmm [laughter].  I like the way you’re sort of demonstrating that on me Nicole. [laughter]

Nicole Daedone:  It’s pretty good, huh?

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Yeah, I can sorta feel that up, down, up, down, up down, ohhh.  You know, one of the things I love about the way you teach is that it’s so simple.  Anybody is so – could be so inspired to go home and do that.  You have simplified this so that anyone would be inspired to go and do this.  And I think that is some of the absolute genius of what you have done, is you’ve taken the mystery out of this.  I think it’s so hard to figure out so much about a woman because it’s so small down there.  I mean, relatively speaking.

Nicole Daedone:  It’s torture for a guy.  I know, I’m a stroker too; I know what they go through.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Yeah, exactly.  And it’s mysterious, and you have just made it one thing.  And I think guys love that.  It’s like, “Oh OK.”  ‘Cause they can handle one thing.

Nicole Daedone:  Right.  Right, and I think that – my question when I began this was, “What would happen if we stripped orgasm of everything?  If we decoupled it from love, and marriage, and spirituality, and if we took away the mystery, if we turned on the lights, if we just looked at it directly, what would happen to it?  And is it as evil and scary and – what happens when you’re in that place?  And the truth is that raw orgasm, in and of itself, is more than most of us can handle.  Anything that we put on top of it dampens it.  And this practice, for me, taught me how to feel, period.  Deepen my ability to feel love, the divine, a connection to you, a connection to my own body.  It just taught me how to feel, and all of those other things become impediments to that practice.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  I absolutely agree with you, that there’s so much of an overlay, and I think that so many people, you know, are probably having an – have a hard time hearing that because there are so much – so many things that are going on for so many people.  I’m guessing it’s hard – do you find it‘s hard to get people to decouple the feelings, and the meaning, and all that stuff when you’re teaching people?  I mean, what is the reaction you find when you teach, and you say to people, “OK, just strip away” – I mean you’re a semantist, OK.  I mean I don’t know what your IQ is.  I can guess, but – you know, you’re a semantist.  Just strip away the love and the meaning …

Nicole Daedone:  [laughing] What are you talking about?

Dr. Patti Taylor:  … Go down to pure feeling.  I’m a Buddhist and 10 other things.  But you average person who just wants to have a great time with their sweetheart tonight, you know, how easy is it and what do you say to encourage them?  Or what is their reaction?

Nicole Daedone:  You know, I think my pra – my life practice is learning how to communicate that.  Is learning how to – and that why I think I had the kind of crack I had, where I had all the circumstances, but I didn’t have the sensation to sustain it.  When I usually end up saying to people is, because most people don’t take the time out to learn how to feel.  They’re too busy.  And they’re building all these circumstances, but that’s why we have midlife crisis, that ‘s why we have marriages that collapse without people feeling each other or liking each other, or even able to have sex anymore.  They build up so much frustration and hatred at the fact that they aren’t feeling each other.   That ‘s what we need.  That’s the hydration that you need.  All of us just need the pure hydration.  So for me, it’s just like saying, “Hey, all the other stuff is great.  Chocolate cake is great.  Stake is great.  Lettuce is great.  It’s all wonderful.  And drink your water.” 

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Wow!  Well I want to return to this.  We’re gonna take a short break to hear from our sponsors, so please stay with us.  This is Dr. Patti Taylor, and we are talking with Nicole Daedone about orgasmic meditation.  Nicole is the founder of One Taste, and you can find out more about her at onetastesf.com.  So, we will be right back.  Please stay with us.

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Dr. Patti Taylor:  We’re back, and I’m Dr. Patti Taylor, and we’re talking to Nicole Daedone about orgasmic meditation.  So, let’s just keep going with this hot and juicy practice.  You were saying the challenge is really learning how to teach it.  And so what are some ways that you do teach it that you think really do get through to people that are – that you find have been the most effective?

Nicole Daedone:  You know, my desire is for everybody to have a direct experience in any way possible.  We wrestle a lot with how direct an experience to give people, and how quickly to give it to them.  The interesting thing is that we have a lab in our course, and we took the lab out for a period of time, and then people were just itching for the lab again.  But the funny part is that when we had the lab, everyone’s so nervous about the lab, and they don’t know if they’re gonna be able to do it.  But after they do it, you know, the truth is Patti, is that everyone wants it.  It’s our biology.  It makes sense.  It’s just giving the body what it’s naturally asking for that the cortex, the front of the mind, our ideas of what’s appropriate, are trying to block.  So ultimately, my job is to say to people, “It’s OK to have what you want.” 

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Wow!  Now, I just want to say for our listeners, your lab actually is an experiential portion of the day, where two people will actually practice an orgasmic meditation.  So they’ll get together for 15 minutes, which is the agreed upon time in advance, and the man will give a shared pleasure to the woman on her clitoris.

Nicole Daedone:  Right, well actually I would say they’ll both plug into one orgasm.  And, yeah, that’s after eight hours of extensive conversation, and holding people, and moving through – you know, we say orgasm is 80 percent learning to navigate resistance, and 20 percent technique.  So a lot of it is just kind of moving through those terrains to get people to feel what they really want, and then they can choose for themselves if they want to go into the lab or not.  The most interesting thing is I’ve – I think I’ve had in however many years, six years or something, I think I’ve had three people not do the lab. 

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Well I know I went through your course, and the lab was a lot of fun, and I went through some of your advanced courses and your couple’s course, and I loved the labs.  It’s so much fun being there with other people, ‘cause you get that group energy.  It’s great just to be in that environment with other people, talking about it.

And for me, I’m a teacher of it, but it’s such a great way to just learn that I’m not alone, and of course I know I’m not alone, but I love to see what other people are thinking and feeling.  I mean it’s a fun thing to do for an evening or a day.  I mean it’s just a great place to be.

Nicole Daedone:  You know, Michael Pollan wrote this book, “Omnivore’s Dilemma”, he’s so brilliant, and he was talking about the fact that we have kind of a cultural eating disorder.  And part of the cultural eating disorder is everyone thinks they’re the only one who has this cultural eating disorder.

And I think the same is true with our relationship to orgasm.  Each of us privately thinks we’re the only one who’s not doing it right, not recognizing that pretty much, my experience is, pretty much everyone feels like, at the very least, they could have more than they know how to have now.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Right, and for me, I don’t – I didn’t have an issue of whether I was doing it right or not.  So I love what you said.  For me, I just sort of enj – you know it’s like maybe just going to play a game of tennis.  I just kind of liked the experience of going and doing it in company.

Nicole Daedone:  Right!  Right, and you know it’s the same idea as in Buddhist meditation hall.  You know people go to mediate together, and ultimately what we’re doing is we’re connecting limbic system.  We’re connecting feeling buddies.  We’re going to that place where a mother is connected to a child, and they can feel each other’s resonance.  Well, when you do that in room full of people, the amount of energy that can move through your body is so much greater.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  I know, I was just going, “Wow!  This is so civilized.  I’m finally in a place where this is totally civilized.”  But, actually what you were saying is true.  There’s this huge amount of resonance.  I want to go into something you said about the limbic system.  Why don’t you tell us what you mean by the limbic system, and limbic resonance? What is happening with our limbic system anyway?

Nicole Daedone:  Wait, I just want to say one other thing from the last one, and that’s that, and there are people who just want to do this in the privacy of their own home, while married, and I think that’s great too.  I think any kind of touching of your own being is profound. 

So, what I’m saying about the limbic system is the limbic system is your reptilian brain.  It’s your nonverbal part of yourself, the feeling body.  Ultimately, in any tradition, that’s what we’re looking to open up.  In Buddhism, in yoga, there’s a part where your limbic – your feeling body takes over and your frontal cortex, which is what determines what’s appropriate, can relax. 

And they’ve shown that they – I just went to the neuoraesthetics conference and they showed that when a human being enters orgasm, the cortex actually shuts down.  That part of your brain that’s constantly trying to decide whether or not you’re doing it right can relax.  And then your true wisdom can rise up and tell you what works in and integrated way for all of you.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  So when you’re engaging your limbic system, you actually are engaging a completely different part of your brain.  Is it a better part of your brain?  Is it a higher consciousness?  Or is it just a different part of your brain?

Nicole Daedone:  Yeah, I don’t think it’s any higher.  I think that it’s a neglected part.  And that when it actually does rise up, we’re – most of us are so thirsty, it feels more profound.  But I don’t think it’s any more profound.  I think integration is the most profound state we can get to.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Well, but is it like a more loving part?  I mean, how would we know if we were in our limbic part?  Is there some way we might recognize that in our – I mean if you and I gave each other a warm, juicy, yummy hug, would that be like that we were limbicly connected versus a really mental hug?  Or, you know?

Nicole Daedone:  Mm-hmm, yeah, I think the best description for me is when all the voices in my head are silent, and I can experience where I’m at.  I mean that’s the best answer I can give.   And then, in terms of my feeling body, like in us giving each other a hug, the way that I would notice it would be that the boundaries become less impenetrable.  I’m not as clear where you begin or where I begin.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Wow!  So all of this is possible from this one simple act of a man putting his index finger, you say their left index finger, onto a woman’s favorite spot, and doing the up and down stroke.  Now in your classes, I know you give some more examples.  And I want to talk about that because you do give classes on that in community and stuff, so we’ll get to that in a moment.  But this is all possible, and it is a shared pleasure, both people feel this experience. 

Nicole Daedone:  Uh huh.  Yeah, definitely, and …

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Uh huh, OK, they do feel this experience.  Do the men ever feel like, “Well wait a minute, she’s getting it?”  I mean do you ever get any doubters that go, “Whoa, I don’t know, how come she’s getting it and not me?”

Nicole Daedone:  Patti!  We’re in the sexual arenas.  We get doubters on everything – every word that comes out of my mouth.  It’s not like – it’s not a lemming kind of group of people who are involved in orgasm.  You know, they question everything that’s in there, and I have several answers all the way from social to divine, but the best I can say is when two limbic systems are connected – you know our definition of orgasm is the moment the involuntary musculature is activated.  So when two limbic systems are connected, it doesn’t matter where that’s generating from.

And you can know that you have connected limbic systems, you can know it’s possible in the same way, if somebody else yawns, your limbic system is activated and you yawn.  Or, you know, experiences of disgust, like somebody vomiting causes the same sensations in your body.  We are connected to each other.  There’s as much available from either position. And then I say, “I know from personal experience, because I’ve been in both positions.”

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Right.  Well that’s a disgusting example. 

Nicole Daedone:  Yeah.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  You had to bring that up?

Nicole Daedone:  No, it’s not so bad.  All sensations.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Yeah, I look at it a little differently.  You know, what I say is when a guy turns me on, then I’m like, I’ll chase him around the bedroom after I’ve gotten really turned on.  But it never works out that way, because I attract men into my life that just love to turn me on.  They get higher than a kite.  They’re just like – they pay me a million dollars for the privilege, so it’s not even about that.  It kind of falls back to what you say, it’s just the funniest thing.  The ones that don’t get that, you know they never make it to my front door, because I have a line like a mile long, the guys that would pay me the million dollars, so I guess we’re getting to the same thing.

Nicole Daedone:  Uh huh.  And I look at these men’s magazines.  I love some of them, but every single man’s magazine is “How to Please Her”.  And then there is a – it’s sort of a national issue, you can witness in magazines that men don’t know how to please a woman.  So I think men really want to know, there’s just a certain pride factor in going through the process of learning.  And the thing I would tell a man is that a woman has to go through the exact same thing on the other side. 

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Well I think that’s the million dollar question, how to give a woman what she wants.  And obviously, when you’re making it this simple, you are really giving a real gift to men and women everywhere.  

So, on this note we are going to take another short to hear from our sponsors.  Please do stay with us.  We will be right back.  We are talking to Nicole Daedone, of One Taste Urban Retreat Center.  You can find out more about her at onetastesf.com.  So please stay with us.

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Dr. Patti Taylor:  We’re back, and we’re just having a party over here, and we are so glad you’re here with us.

Nicole Daedone:  That’s exactly what we were talking about on the break, is how nice it is to connect in this way.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Oh, it’s just total fun.  So a couple of things, just want to talk about your community for a moment.  I think one of the great things about One Taste, it just makes it so special, is that this is a place where people can come and actually see a live demonstration, and that there’s a community of people that really hold the energy and make this information available ongoingly for people.  It’s a real resource, and have ongoing classes …

Nicole Daedone:  Mm-hmm. Yeah, we took a basic spiritual model in terms of how we set up our community.  You know the idea of sanga and community.  You know, there’s a group of people who hold the center very deeply.  There’s about 50 full time people, kind of who are the hive, creating the experience for people to come in and get as much as they want.  And then we have approximately a hundred and something volunteers who do it at different intervals, and then we have – we’ve had over 4000 people walk through our doors in the past year.  So the idea is just to keep as much dynamic motion and as much information and sensation so that people can make the best of breed choices in their lives. 

Dr. Patti Taylor:  That just sounds like so much fun.  I’ve often threatened to move in myself. [laughter]  Only, too much other stuff to do, but it’s always tempting.  It really does sound like fun.  I think there’s something to be said though, too, about group energy, because group energy clearly helps you learn in a certain way, and it does help you, I think, move energy. 

You teach also about communication and other dynamics so that it really is a total immersion. So I just think it is quite an incredible way that you’ve put it all together.

Nicole Daedone:  Yeah, I think it can be a total immersion, but we’re very deliberate to structure it so that people could just dip their toe in, too, and that that would feel good.  Like we offer yoga, or meditation, or massage, or we have lectures on nutrition.  So there are a lot of ways to enter and just kind of try it, all the way to the full immersion experience.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Well, everyone has their own path, and I think that’s really what this all about.  I mean, for everyone, and to respect that.  So we – you do have it – you are expanding very quickly.

Nicole Daedone:  We are.  We are.  We are.  We are.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Well, anything that ‘s expanding always gets my interest.  Wanna tell us about your expanding …

Nicole Daedone:  Oh my gosh, I – you know it’s – ahh, I guess in terms of orgasm we would be in the going over stage.  We’re definitely flooding, and we’re opening a center in New York right now.  The person who I founded the center with, Rob, just moved to New York, and three of our other members moved to New York, There’s a community!  That was fascinating, ‘cause it’s a self-organizing community.  They called us and said, “Come!” 

And then in San Francisco, what we’re doing, is we’re working on a model for high density urban living, with a slow food restaurant, and massage, and courses, kind of like a sensuality row, or a pink light district.  But to have an area where people can come internationally and have the experience.  We just started a media company.  And then we have Connect Ed, which is a way for people to come and take courses, or come and hear some of the finest lecturers in the nation.  We have about five to ten lecturers per week, and many different classrooms.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Wow!  That is like, just so, I want to say ambitious, but I think I want to go deeper.  And then I go into awe, and then I guess I go into this question, and I want to know, like, what’s the deeper vision for you?  Is it a world that has integrated itself and healed it’s split with sexuality?  I mean, where do you go in your dreams, and what motivates you to put all this sort of effort into it, when I’m guessing you could just be sitting having orgasmic meditations for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?  Obviously you’re working very hard and you’re a deeply caring woman, so you’re putting yourself out there.  So what makes you tick and get up in the morning and put all this effort into this?

Nicole Daedone:  Ultimately, it’s in the way I said my teachers came and got me, and I felt like, “This is my life.”  But my mentor shared a student, he had a student, Allen Watts, and he was responsible for bringing meditation from the East – one of the people responsible for bringing meditation over.

 And in the same way I feel like, if I were to have a calling, it would be to bring orgasm to the table.  And I look at it like a four-legged stool.  The seat of the stool is connection, and then one of the legs is nutrition, the other is yoga, the other is meditation, and the other is orgasm.  And we need these, all four elements, to have a balanced system.

 And ultimately, if I were to have the ultimate success, it would simply mean that everybody had access to all parts of themselves, and could freely touch, or access whichever part was required for any particular situation, that there were no blocks, including sexuality.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Wow!  That’s a pretty amazing vision.  Do you think – do you ever think about how the world would be a better place?  Do you go there, or are you kind of thinking one person at a time? 

Nicole Daedone:  Yeah, I don’t know that I can – I have some – you know, I’m fortunate in that I have these veils of ignorance and that I don’t look at certain things.  I do tend to look at what’s right in front of me.  And I know, I know from direct experience, how the world would be better ‘cause I know that I lived for a long time, conceptually trying to be a good person, while I was consistently trying to negotiate this feeling of starvation, sensory starvation in my body. 

And I could only act it so long, and then finally when I was nourished, it came naturally.  And I know that I naturally care for people now, I don’t – there’s no doing it to be a good person.  And I know that if that can happen in my body, that can happen in everybody’s body. 

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Wow!  So do you think that – you know we talked about the men, and before we close, I was just wondering, is there something that we can say to the women about the orgasmic meditation practice, about the – ending the starvation for them?  You’re a woman so I was just thinking, hearing that you have really ended the starvation in your body.  So do you ever think about maybe the world being different if just women ended this sense of starvation by getting filled up?

Nicole Daedone:  You know, it’s funny, it’s so simple to me.  It’s like yeah; we can afford to like each other again.  I could afford to stop pretending.  There was a point where I got a stroke, and it hit me, “I’m free!”  What that has to me is very simple.  It’s like, “I don’t have to pretend to not be angry, ‘cause I’m not.  I don’t have to pretend to either hate guys or love guys.  I can have right relationship with them.  And I don’t have to pretend to be really, really good friends with woman, when I’m not.  I can actually afford to be friends with woman, ‘cause I’m not living in scarcity for a man’s attention.”  I have exactly what I need, and from there I have choice. 

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Well, I like that, and you do have a lot of wonderful friends, and I love that we’re friends, and we’re not competitive.  And, yeah, because you know what?  I think there’s a lot of issues in this world that really, somebody needs to look at.  I’m not, I mean I’m doing what I’m doing, and you’re doing what you’re doing.  But there’s a lot more room for love in this world, and that‘s what I’m about.  Obviously you’re doing a lot of wonderful things in this world.

So we’re gonna bring our talk to a close today.  I’m gonna ask you one last question.  So, if there was a parting thought, that if you just knew that everyone would get it if you were gonna just say it, just magically, what might it be?  Just one out of let’s say the first hundred that came to your mind.  What would you like to leave people with?

Nicole Daedone:  Not only can you have it exactly as you want it; it’s your responsibility. 

Dr. Patti Taylor:  And what does that mean?

Nicole Daedone:  It means – I’m of the belief that each one of us has our purpose deeply planted inside of us and it’s in the form of desire. 

Dr. Patti Taylor:  So to honor the desire, and really own it, and love it. 

Nicole Daedone:  Mm-hmm, yeah.

 Dr. Patti Taylor:  Whoa. [laughs]   Wow.  Wow.  Wow, thank you so much, Nicole. 

Nicole Daedone:  Thank you so much, Patti.  I love doing this with you.  This was so much fun. [laughs]  When’s the next one?

Dr. Patti Taylor:  I know, it’s nice.  See, orgasm happens in many forms. 

Well this brings us to the end of our show.  Nicole also has a series of shows on her own show on A Taste of Sex.  I have to mention that, so there’s actually three shows on there.  So, Personal Life Media, if you go there, you will actually find three shows from the One Taste community.  I’ve actually been on their show and interviewed on their show.  So we do get along really well.  I presented there, and so I think it’s just evidence of just cooperation and love and connection in practice.  And so it’s just been a joy to have Nicole on my show. 

Onetastesf.com, if you wanna learn more about their wonderful events and orgasmic mediation.  Join us next week on the Expanded Lovemaking Show when we talked to a gifted erotic photographer who will teach you how to bring out the beauty and the turn on in your woman by flirting, teasing, and delivering the goods.  And that brings us to the end of the show.  Thank you for listening.   Please send your email to me, Patti, at personallifmedia.com.  For texts and transcripts of this show and other shows on the Personal Life Media network, please visit our website at personallifemedia.com.   This is you host, Dr. Patti Taylor.  That’s all for now.  I remain yours in ever expanding bliss, and I’ll see you next week.

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