RECLAIMING MASCULINE POWER & SEXUALITY with Ty Gesyuk
Sex – Tantra and Kama Sutra
Francesca Gentille
volume_up

Episode 45 - RECLAIMING MASCULINE POWER & SEXUALITY with Ty Gesyuk

RECLAIMING MASCULINE POWER & SEXUALITY, Ty Gesyuk, certified Health Counselor, Massage Therapist, Yoga Instructor, co-founder of "The Integrative Arts Institute" and director of "Daka Univesity: Empowering Masculine Spirit - Decoding the Female Sex"

In this episode, Ty takes us through the 3 Pillars of masculine power, and sexuality. Discover keys to eating, and exercise that increase vitality in and out of the bedroom and expand the possibility of sexual positions to 100,000. Learn how to have the soulful wealth that attracts love, sex, and pleasure. Reclaim the sacredness of the phallus and the beauty of masculine sacred sexuality.

Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: This program is brought to you by personallifemedia.com.

This program is intended for mature audiences only.

Francesca Gentille: Welcome to Sex Tantra and Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex. I am your host Francesca Gentille. And with me today is Ty Gesyuk, co-founder of the integrative arts institute, the director of Daka [sp] University: Empowering Masculine Spirit Decoding the Female Sex. And Ty is also a health counselor, a massage therapist, a yoga instructor who had three yoga centers, and a Daka [sp].

Ty Gesyuk: If somebody had a shoulder pain, I would say you treat that just like a cold. You would increase your anti-oxidants, you would increase your [xx] intake, you would have more rest, you would eat more green leafy vegetables which are loaded with Magnesium, which is nature's natural muscle relaxant, and the list goes on. And they are totally shocked and amazed that within a couple days of simply eating better, having more bed rest and taking in more fluids that their pain will start disappearing.

When I was younger, a young man, I was a massage therapist, and I would be working on many successful people who would have six digits of current income. I found them to have very little freedom and very little happiness with what they were doing for a living.. And I just saw them as what I call the golden prison.

What I mean by natural, there is a way than when you truly love somebody, there is a way that you slow things down. You breathe deeper, you caress their face, you caress their body. You slow down. If two people met and they never knew anything about Tantra, they never knew anything about balanced arts, they would be executing many different things that their Balanced and Tantric arts are recommending. I think in ancient times they simply codified what two people that are in deep love actually do.

Frencesca: Welcome Ty.

Ty: Thank you for having me on the show.

Francesca: Oh its my pleasure. Today we are planning on talking about the three pillars of reclaiming masculine power and sexuality, but before we jump in, and maybe its related, but I wanted to ask you, what is a Daka?

Ty: A Daka is a sacred sexuality healer. In modern terms it would be kind of like a Shaman in the bedroom. Somebody who brings the sacred and creates healing within love play.

Fransesca: But it's the masculine form. We often hear I think, or some of us have heard the word Dakini [sp]. So Daka would be the masculine form of that, correct?

Ty: Correct, yes.

Fransesca: Wonderful. I think that something this is probably something that all of our male listeners would want to be. And our female listeners would probably love to be Dakinis. In the Tibetan tradition that also means almost like an angel of light; a spiritual source of support for people in their paths. You are saying in today's world that also means in the sexual spiritual path. I love that. That's part of who you are as someone who has developed these three pillars of reclaiming masculine power and sexuality, is that so?

Ty: Correct. I think every step of the way my life has paved the way to where I am now. And I have incorporated everything that I have been in the past to the present moment of starting the school of Daka University. I based it on the three pillars of reclaiming masculine vitality and power. So it wasn't just around sexuality. It was also around health. It was around wealth and career. I find that these are the major concerns for most men that I have talked to.

Fransesca: So let's look at that. So we have health, wealth and career, and sexuality as really the three pillars of masculine power. And this is going to be great for our women, so we can understand our men more for the women that are listening, and fabulous for our men so that they can empower themselves. Which one would you like to start with of those three?

Ty: Let's start with health because I think its something that I had a strong foundation in as a child.

Fransesca: So with regards to health, you are saying that there is something to be reclaimed for men. What's left? If there is something that is going to be reclaimed then there must be something that is left or wounded. So what is that mean around health?

Ty: I think that the first thing about it is the way that our culture doesn't gear the alternative health industry towards the masculine. It gears it towards the feminine. So what happens is there is a way that we are kind of shunned out from taking advantage of ancient wisdoms around health. We are more in touch with nature, more in touch with the vitality that we can develop for ourselves as men. For example, when I was a health counselor I would constantly have clients coming to me in physical pain because I was also [xx]. But they would never think of it in terms of food, in terms of nutrition. If somebody had a shoulder problem or a shoulder pain, I would say you treat tat just like a cold. You would increase your anti-oxidants, you would increase your [xx] intake, you would have more rest, you would eat more green leafy vegetables which are loaded with Magnesium, which is nature's natural muscle relaxant, and the list goes on. And they are totally shocked and amazed that within a couple days of simply eating better, having more bed rest and taking in more fluids that their pain would start disappearing. And if it can do all that for pain imagine what it could do in the bedroom. And yet, if men could only know the link between the food they put on their plate and their ability to have stamina and pleasure in the bedroom I would bet you that their heads would be swelling from here to kingdom come.

Fransesca: And we are not talking aphrodisiacs here. We are talking about a way of eating. Not just having oysters or something. But really a way of eating on a regular basis that is going to increase vitality and stamina, libido, the desire, as well as the ability to get an erection and maintain an erection.

Ty: Absolutely. As a health counselor this kind of makes me upset. There is a way that we are only thinking sex and food as a way of stimulating sex drive. And yet, when you are healthy, when you have strong circulation in your body, when you have good oxygen intake, when you have a tremendous amount of fluids flowing in your bloodstream, your sex drive goes through the roof! And it's not about "Oh, my God, I have to have sex now!", its more about a healthier, more integrated wholeness of being that you are naturally more ready and more willing to have sex with your partner. It's a huge piece of the pie in terms of understanding sexuality that has kind of been missing and lost, but nobody talks about as much as I really would like to have seen in the academia world that I've been looking for.

Franscesca: So what is the prescription? How can men bring their vitality back or increase their vitality in all of their life as well as in the bedroom through nutrition?

Ty: Well, it's not just nutrition. I've actually created three pillars for health. I am really big into creating foundations and stuff. I would say that the first pillar is circulation, the second is oxygen, and the third is nutrition. With nutrition its more about creating whole foods versus processed foods in your diet and understanding that the same cravings in the candy aisle also work in the produce aisle. It's not about shaming, degrading, or beating yourself up for having cravings, it's about harnessing the cravings within you and focusing on that in a vocabulary of whole foods and healthy eating. It takes time.

Fransesca: I love that you are taking away the shame of it. So rather than I'm bad if I want a candy bar, that craving for sweet maybe could be satisfied by an apple. In a sense nourishing our cravings but looking for other ways to fulfill them. And in terms of, and we just have a moment or two before we go to break, but in terms of our oxygen and circulation what would you say?

Ty: I would just say that I would encourage more....What I really love about the Eastern Arts of exercise is that they encourage more consciousness around movement. They slow things down. There is a way that there is a reverence to the movement at hand. A lot of the movements are emulating nature and harness the wisdom from nature. They also encourage oxygen and increasing oxygen. The average person has about 18 breathes per minute. The average Zen Munk has about four. In the Orient, they believe you have a certain amount of breathe and then you expire. So they developed a tremendous amount of exercises and movements that increase the breath's capacity so that we can have more of an efficient oxygen intake.

Fransesca: That's a whole new direction for people to go in versus that sort of hard pounding sports that people often do. If you think about how we practice our sports and how we practice in the bedroom it would make sense that if we go into some of these way of practicing our exercises that are very slow and conscious and deep breathing that would naturally go into the way that we are moving and being in the bedroom. Hmm....

Ty: Could I just say one last thing, just to entice the men out there? The average website creates about eleven love positions if you are creative. In yoga, there are over 100,000 yoga postures. Just with that languaging alone, bringing that into the bedroom creates so much more variety and creativity that can be had between two people. And we are just talking the body here. We are not talking about the breathe or consciousness. We are just talking about physical abilities of creating more connections with your partner.

Fransesca: That's an inspiration to start a yoga class if I ever heard one! We are going to to a break and afterwards we are going to come back and talk more about the wealth career and the sexuality pillars of the three pillars of reclaiming masculine power and sexuality after a word from our fabulous sponsors. In supporting our sponsors, you support our show. We will be right back.

[advertisement]

Fransesca: Welcome back to Sex Tantra and Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex. We are with Ty Geysuk, the co-founder of the Integrated Arts Institute and the Director of the Daka University Empowering the Masculine Spirit and Decoding the Female Sex and we aer talking about the three pillars of reclaiming masculine power and sexuality. We've just done health and now how about wealth and career. Would that be the next one?

Ty: Yes. Absolutely

Fransesca: How is that something that once again men have lost? There is some challenge for men today and how can they reclaim a deeper power around that?

Ty: First off, let's just start with one of the myths out there around wealth. There is a way in our culture, especially for men, that we need wealth to be desired, to be sought after. And the truth is for men and women that it's more about the vitality and confidence that person holds versus the amount of wealth they accumulate. And the truth of the matter is that when you have vitality and confidence, you tend to have wealth. You tend to have success. What I encourage a lot of the men and women out there to have is to start to develop that confidence and vitality of who they are. There is a way that men have after the post feminist movement in the 70's there is a way that modern man has become expected to be the provider. And yet there is a way that he is not honored in the same way. So we are kind of stuck in a bit of a conundrum.

Fransesca: So there is that sense that a man is expected to be the provider in the post feminist era but not honored for the work that he does. My sense with men is that they are still expected to work really hard and they are not given the same freedom to choose careers, maybe pursue something that's not the average career. It feels like there really is that double bind. So with that, how do men develop vitality and confidence? How do they come to a sense of clarity?

Ty: It's really about looking within. When I was a young man I was working as a massage therapist and I would be working in my late teens on many successful people who had six digits of current income. And I would ask them questions about their lives. And I found them to have very little freedom and very little happiness to what they were doing for a living. And I just saw them in what I call the golden prison. And I vowed to myself as a young man not to be in that prison. So I shifted something and I started looking inward. I started to create my location with my avocation. I started to create my dreams and my insights; my ability to inquire about who I am and started to make a living that way. And I started to realize more and more that when people start making a living and see the ability to start looking inward then something shifts. Men have lost, like in ancient times, men were able to go on vision quests. They were able to look inward. Their sacredness and spirituality were celebrated. We have lost that today. Our culture kind of focuses men outward in terms of being driven, in terms of being a provider, in terms of making something happen. But there is not a lot of support of looking inward, flowing down, taking stock of yourself. And I think when more men start doing that there is going to be a whole male revolution within our culture. Because the moment men start doing that there is a healing that's going to happen. Not just with them, but with their mates. The mythical war on the sexes....the real war is within us. Male and female. As we look inward there is a healing that will occur.

Fransesca: And when you are saying looking inward you are not saying leave your family and go on a spiritual quest for two years and leaving everything you have ever known, you are really talking about almost like taking time to look at a sunset and taking time to maybe check in how do I really feel about getting a bigger job versus maybe staying where I am or getting a different job that allows me to have more time, a shorter commute; maybe a little less money, but a shorter commute. You are talking in a sense about a quality of life? A quality connection to self and others?

Ty: Sure. There is a great book out there called "Your Money or your Life". So it is a lot about that. Where if money was a life force, how much time are you spending to get it? Sometimes having less of an income from your job and having more of a simple life because you have a higher quality of life, then health and so many things increase for you. There is not just a movement towards getting more stuff, there is also a movement towards getting a higher quality of life. And sometimes the two are not the same. There is a need for inquiry inward, inside of you, to get that spiritually minded, more upward energy of a higher quality of life. That has to be from self motivation or self inquiry. That is something that has been out-scheduled out of most men's lives.

Fransesca: I am reminded...I'm Italian, of my background is La Dulce Vida, the sweet life. We are really talking about bringing in that sweet life. For men, this could be, could the vision quest be on the golf course? Just taking the time if you are playing alone to really tune in? While you are walking around? Could it be going on....several of the Christian denominations have retreat centers where you can go and really spend time tuning in and really listening to that still quiet voice within. There is the men's movement. Is it all of it? Do you have to work with someone and be led through it? How do men go into this inward life?

Ty: There is no have to. In my book of Ty, I think its more about creating a sense of ease and peace in the midst of a crazy schedule. Connecting to yourself, finding your own unique voice and gifts and talents that you want to give to the world and figuring out ways that you can be compensated for it in the commerce world. I think very few people actually sit and talk about that. If you read books on some of the wealthiest people on the planet, they will say the same thing. The ones who are truly successful time and time again have come through hardships and came out on the top of the ladder when it comes to financial success. They will always say that they followed the dream of what comes easy and what comes strong for them in terms of who they are. They followed their uniqueness; they followed their unique strengths and talents.

Fransesca: Thomas Edison. Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. And the man who invented the airbag for the cars. He actually went bankrupt twice, but he followed his dream to bring a deeper sense of safety for the way that we drive. For the men that are listening, to really carve out that time to tune inward, and for the women that are listening to support our men when they feel like they need time to really delve into themselves. And I know that we can get nervous sometimes because we do want, we rely on you, and we want you to be our providers and protectors. But I really encourage our women who are listening to support the men to go deeper into their own truth and to meet them in that truth; to celebrate that truth when they find it. And we're going to talk more about the three pillars of reclaiming masculine power and sexuality and we will be moving into sexuality, sacred sexuality, when we come back from a break and a word from our sponsors.

[advertisement]

Fransesca: Welcome back to Sex Kantra and Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex. We are with Ty Geysuk, the co-founder of the Integrated Arts Institute and the Director of the Daka University Empowering the Masculine Spirit and Decoding the Female Sex and we are about to enter into the third pillar of reclaiming masculine power: sexuality. Ty, what is that for men? How can they reclaim and deepen their masculine power and sexuality?

Ty: I have so much to say on this, but before I move on to that, I would like to say a little bit more about how wealth and career can be brought into the bedroom as well. One of the basic reasons why the three pillars were created is because there is a tremendous amount of wounding with men around those areas. There is a way that our vitality and our stamina in the bedroom relates tremendously to how much support either coming inside us for us or from our mates that comes to us around finance. There is a way that finance has replaced something very primal in men. I remember, I cannot understand why there was a strong craving for one of my female friends to have a baby. And she said: "Ty, you know how you get really horny. Well magnify that 1000 times and that's what my body physically craves to have a child." There is a way that women need to understand that men have financial woes and hardships. There is a way that [xx] in a very primal way in their body and their body literally has a much more challenging time to respond sexually as it does with any other major trauma of life. The more support we get around that, the more we feel bolstered and taken care of around being confident around wealth and career the more vital we feel in the bedroom. I just wanted to share that.

Fransesca: That is a wonderful tip both for our men and our women listeners. So men can invite the women to support them and understand them in that way. And women now you have got this information to really appreciate....we talk alot about that in this show to really verbally appreciate our beloveds and in this case for their career, for the way that they work in the world. My beloved has a career where he doesn't financially contribute to me and I still thank him for working so hard because his career contributes to the world. Just to care for someone and what they are doing in the world makes a huge difference. Tell us more about the bedroom and sexuality for men. I want to know!

Ty: Wonderful. We are coming into sacred sexuality. And for men, another men around male sexuality is that we are the more confident sex. And yet, our genitalia is the most vulnerable. There is a way that when we are young children our genitalia is exposed. And the moment we get excited we are shamed, blamed and [xx] for it. So there is a way that young men from a very early age learn how to disconnect from their genitals. And so what happens is when we get older we wonder why we have issues and why we have problems. And so the first step in sexuality is to actually reclaim the ability to be in touch with our phallus and too start developing pride and honor in the fact that we do have a phallus. There is so many ways that we have been wounded around the fact that we have one, and that we have erections, and that we get excited, and the list goes on.

Fransesca: As a woman I can say that I agree and I also have a son. So I have seen the way that our culture shames and blames men around having a phallus, having an erection. I tried to really celebrate for him that he got to have it and yet he still got this cultural message that there was something wrong with his genitals, with his sexuality, with his ability to be aroused and find pleasure in his phallus. It's heartbreaking to watch the culture do this to my son. I can't but imagine that it's not pleasant for a man to hear dickhead or something like that, that there is a way that the culture really shames the phallus. So what can a man do to turn that around?

Ty: Well, the first step is to start honoring their sexuality.

Fransesca: What does that mean?

Ty: It means that when there is a turn on, and when we get excited to not hold back from that. To not shame that. To be proud of the fact that they are turned on. And to start picking mates and sexual partners that will honor them back for their turn on, for their vitality, for their stamina, for their veral nature. From that is birthed something sacred. Because when you start picking a partner that honors your phallus you naturally start honoring the partner that you are with. And from that is birthed something sacred. I don't think sacred is something that you have to work . I don't think being proud of your sex is something that you have to work on. It is something that is birthed from within you by simply getting honored and honoring the person that is in front of you in the bedroom.

Fransesca: So if we were going to go into the bedroom, what would that look like? Sometimes they say that the average sex act is like 2-5 minutes. Now if we are honoring sexuality, how does a man....how is he undressing....how is he looking at his own phallus....and how is he looking at her vulva? What's happening? Give us a picture here.

Ty: Let's start out with saying that it certainly won't last two minutes. There is a way that the process is slowed down. It's more conscious. Kind of like what we were talking about before with more Eastern exercises. It's more of a reverence. When I was a young man and I was going to develop into my sexuality I was blessed and lucky enough to have partners that were able to go into the exploration of sexuality and learning about it in a very innocent, curious way. And as i discovered more sacred acts, I discovered things like Tantra and Phallus practices in the bedroom. We would literally get the books out, open them in the bed, and experiment and try things. And we didn't shame each other for doing things wrong because it was an experiment; we were learning. And from that, there was a deep birth of sacredness that was opened up in me in sex play; in the bedroom. And I didn't know I was unique until later when I started running into partners who had not experienced the same thing. From that came an inspiration for me to share it more with the world. I don't think that sacred sexuality is something that is going to be taught in techniques or going to be taught in how many times you breathe or how many times you pull back and increase your orgasm. I think sacred sexuality is more about reclaiming what is naturally a gifted thing by nature in us with another person that we deeply care about.

Fransesca: Could you say a little bit more about that because now I am confused. On the one hand you said that one of the practices that worked for you and you recommend is to go into the bedroom with a sense of exploration, openness, and curiosity and to even bring the books and to say "Well, what about this position or what about this technique...and let's try this." Yet at the same time you are saying give up the techniques and reclaim what is natural. Could you tie those two together for me and help me understand what natural means...if we are being natural. Because some people might think two minute sex is natural.

Ty: Ok. What I mean by natural is there is a way that when you truly love somebody and there is deep affection for them, there is a way that you slow things down. You breathe deeper. You caress their face, you caress their body. You slow down. There is a sense of warmth and innocence with your partner. You look deeply in their eyes. Well as I describe all this...if two people met in a deep loving embrace and they never knew anything about Tantra, they never knew anything about Balanced arts, they would be executing many different things that the Balanced and Tantric Arts are recommending. I think that in ancient times they simply codified what two people that are in deep love actually do. That is what I mean by natural. The techniques simply help us to reclaim back those natural techniques that were lost to us because we have been cultured differently. We have been shamed and degregated around our sexuality, so what comes natural from a sexual union has been lost to us. So the techniques and the books are there to help guide us back to what was natural. Sometimes we forget the natural to begin with. The intention is just as important as the technique. The intention is to find a way of passion, communing, and engaging the partner that's in front of you. And if you lose that intention, all the techniques in the world, no matter how amazing and great they are, will not get you there. The intention is first, but celebration with innocence, curiosity, a deep affection for the person in front of you, these are all things that are naturally within us in love play but we have just forgotten. We have lost that. We don't have an ancient cultures Daka that would sit in a bedroom and initiate young lovers as they first coupled for the first time and guided them through the arts of love so that they can deepen their natural instincts of connecting to one another. This is the work that we are doing now.

Fransesca: It's a new world...It awakes an ancient world possibly, but it's definitely a new world that you are building for men and for women, the sense of being healthy in our body. The sense of being really going deeply into our core self and the career that arises from that, and a sense of innocence, and curiosity, and compassion, and sexuality. It's so beautiful. And if people want to know more about this and the programs that you have about this, how would they find you?

Ty: They would find me on my website called Tantraplay.net. Very easy to remember. Or they can...am I allowed to give my phone number out?

Fransesca: Yes, please.

Ty: Ok. My phone # is 415-606-9268. And if somebody calls me from this program, I will give them a one on one coaching session on me by phone that will enhance their life within the bedroom.

Fransesca: Wow. That's very cool. I will be calling you later. And I just want to thank you so much Ty for joining us here on Sex Tantra and Kama Sutra: Bringing You the Soul of Sex, and bringing us the pillars of reclaiming masculine power and sexuality. And I want to thank our listening audience for also being with us. And if you want to get transcripts, find out more about Ty's bio, pictures, his website, you can do that at www.personallifemedia.com. That's www.personallifemedia.com.

Narrator: Find more great shows like this on personallifemedia.com