Episode 1 - The Heart & Breath of Tantra with Lori Grace Star founder of The Celebrations of Love Institute

Tantra & Kama Sutra: Episode One

This program brought to you by personallifemedia.com is suitable for mature audiences only and may contain explicit sexual information.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Welcome to the "Sex: Tantra, and Kama Sutra" show on Personal Life Media, I'm your host, Francesca Gentille. I'm the associate editor of The Marriage of Sex and Spirit, a new book, and also a national relationship coach who specializes in tantric flirting, and shamanic sexual healing. Today on the show, I'm very excited to be having Lori Grace.

LORI GRACE STAR: Most of us want our sexual life to be more total. To be able to feel it in every cell of our body. Hmmm would you like to know a way of licking my clitoris that drives me wild.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: How could anyone say no to that? ha ha

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Lori has an amazing background. She is a student of tantra for over thirty years, and a teacher for over twenty. Her background is in tantric meditation, reikian work, bioenergetics, gestalt, movement therapy, sexual therapy, massage, and compassionate communication. Those are an amazing amount of words, Lori, and we're going to be going into them much more deeply to find out what they mean for our sex life. And she has a private practice in tantric counselling, sexual energetics, and compassionate communication. Lori, I'm fascinated to find out how, as a teacher of tantra, you developed into someone with such a strong background in sex therapy.

LORI GRACE STAR: Well both with respect with my wanting to learn tantra and with my involvement with sexual therapy, I was really first seeking to heal myself. To become more able to flow into passion and also to be able to connect more deeply with my boyfriend at the time. I'm talking about when I was about 23 or so.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: You talk about the desire to heal. Is that common for people who are drawn to tantra? Is there frequently some sort of a traumatic event that they may have gone through or some healing direction that they're seeking?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well, in all my teaching of tantra, I find that actually there's some need of healing culturally throughout the United States, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, different places I've taught. And that is there is a tendency to ... there's an overlay of guilt about sexuality in our culture and also there are many people who have had some experience where they felt abused in some way, and they want to heal from that, and everyone wants to grow in love and connection and passion.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So, tantra. What exactly is tantra, and how does it bring that connection and passion?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well, tantra comes from the sanscrit word "tander" meaning "to connect",  It's actually an ancient spiritual path. First known relics dating three thousand B.C. in southern India, and it's a path that was developed to help two people feel more connected with each other, with their community, with all of God, and spirit, and it's a path that really embraced sexuality and relationship as part of a journey to God, so to speak. To connecting with all of life force.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: You mentioned that it's a Hindu path, that connects sexuality to the divine. So, do I need to be Hindu to practice it?

LORI GRACE STAR: Absolutely not. And in tantra as we practice it in America, we've drawn from different cultures. Not just Hindu tantra, but there's actually a tantra that was found in China, in Japan, in Native America, in Africa of sorts, in Brazil, in the pagan cultures in Europe years ago, and in every culture there have been people who have tried, and who have succeeded in utilizing sexual energy to create more healing and joy in their lives.

 FRANCESA GENTILLE: So even if I'm Christian, or Islamic, or any tradition, I could find something in the practices of tantra that would still have my relationship be more sexy and juicy.

LORI GRACE STAR: Yes, it would enable you to have your relationship be more sacred, more sexual, more juicy, more loving, and also to still feel connected deeply to your own spiritual path.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So what would a tantric lovemaking section look like that would be different than the way that I might normally just go to bed with my honey and turn off the lights and go for it? How would a tantric session be different?

LORI GRACE STAR: So in tantra, we take a moment if we're going to be really special about our connection, to take a moment to look into each other's eyes. To breathe. To feel each other to be also paying attention to what is known as the chakra system, a set of spiritual and physical nerve centers in the body that help create a deep sense of connection and wholeness.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: I'm going to stop you there and go a little bit deeper. I've heard that word "chakra". Could you say a little bit more about it? Like, where is that? Is it actually in the body? Is it this concept that is outside of the body? What do I do with it once I find it?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well, it's actually a neurological, a nerve plexus, and a spiritual center combined into one. For instance, if you've ever put your hand in the middle of your chest, on your heart, that's called the heart chakra. And a lot of people might put their hand on their heart right there when they're talking about something deep and meaningful for them, and indeed there is a connection that happens.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So you're not saying that heart that, you know, I pledge allegiance to the flag and I put my hand kind of over to the left hand side, you're saying it's actually in the center of my chest.

LORI GRACE STAR: Yes.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: People have a tendency when they're feeling sad or shocked to kind of clutch the center of their chest.

LORI GRACE STAR: M-hm. Right. And also if you nurse this part of you, and touch and love your heart chakra, it expands, and you start feeling a sense of connection with people. It's something very unfamiliar in western culture, yet a really valuable resource.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: You're a private coach, so you've worked with couples, brought them into a setting and coached them through a session. Are they naked, are they clothed, are they... how are you coaching them? My mind boggles at the thought. What happens in an actual coaching session?

LORI GRACE STAR: In a coaching session, we design things however the couple feels comfortable. Whether they're wanting to focus on communication, on getting clearer about being able to liberate their sexuality with each other, being able to deal with the impact of aging on their sexuality and communicate about it, being able to heal from sexual abuse to be able to feel more whole, being able to just feel more connected with each other, to have their own lovemaking move more smoothly and be able to communicate about what they want, sexually.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: You mentioned communication, and how important is that in tantra?

LORI GRACE STAR: Communication is actually very important in tantra, and I would say Western tantra is the one that has really embraced that. And that is, it's important for several reasons. It's important to be able to communicate to your partner what you would really love to receive sexually. And to be able to hear and understand what your partner would really love to receive.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: And that's an easy area for couples to make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes if I'm not getting what I want in a relationship, I'll have a tendency to just say, you know, "You never kiss me the way that you did when we were first courting." or "when we were first dating. You don't do that anymore." What would be the more tantric way of saying that?

LORI GRACE STAR; I believe that I might ask for, you know, "Would you be willing to kiss me with more tenderness all over my lips, on the top part, on the bottom, or would you be willing to breathe together with me and look into my eyes as we kiss." Things like this.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: That sounds really tasty. Ha ha. I'd want more of that. There's something else that you mentioned in your background, which I have no idea what that is. Sexual energetics. I know what it is to have high energy or low energy. Is it like that? What is sexual energetics?

LORI GRACE STAR: Sexual energetics is a term that I developed for, for an art and science both of enabling people to open up the channels of energy flow in their body, and to work through body blocks to be able to let that flow happen, so that they can really experience that intimacy in the sense of surrender with both to themselves and another person that they might really long for.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: What is it, could there be like one or two simple things that I could do even tonight, that would help me unblock my sexual energy?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well, I would say one thing is, is actually, it might be a little embarrassing, but if you let yourself make sounds when you make love, there can be a liberation of more energy, and a sense of communicating non-verbally that can start to happen that can generate something together with you and your partner. Or you can let yourself breathe deeply. Like long. slow deep breathing, like "aaaaahh-haaaaaah" just like that kind of breathing. And you can begin to feel more.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: And, would that be the kind of sound, or could you kind of demonstrate for me the difference between a sound that might be kind of constrained and a sound that might help liberate my sexual energy in my body.

LORI GRACE STAR: Yeah, one of the things that happens with people who are more constrained or who are working to become freer, something most common, very common in what I would call pre-orgasmic women, is...

FRANCESA GENTILLE: I just need to stop you right there. What does pre-orgasmic mean?

LORI GRACE STAR: That means a woman who'd love to become orgasmic in intercourse and isn't yet.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Ooooh. OK.

LORI GRACE STAR: One of the things that happens with women like this, is that in higher states of arousal with a partner, instead if moving into a form of a breath that has "aaah, aaaaaah, ooooooh" with relaxed jaw and throat, and easy rhythmic breathing, there's more of a tendency, and you can even hear it on sound tapes like on Enigma, or Romeo and Juliet, more like this. "uh. ah. oh. ah. uh." and what this is, is this woman is trying to really hold on to the feeling of her arousal perhaps to even try to make an orgasm happen, but in the process creates a certain amount of tension that works against her.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So even relaxing the jaw, so you said, basically if I have this, relaxing the jaw and opening the throat could be something that I could do that could help me get kind of a richer tone, or a deeper tone in my voice and that tone itself would help me have more sensation in my body?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well just, right, and sort of playing with it, if you made it a big deal. Just letting yourself, if you notice yourself catching your breath, letting yourself breathe, and trusting that if you let yourself breathe more rapidly and rhythmically you could raise the passion just like we do if we're dancing or if we're out running, you know, or we're breathing hard, we're dancing hard, and our breath, uh aaaah oooooh is rapid, and that's what takes people over the edge, with, into, orgasm. Because orgasm is part of our, something called the sympathetic nervous system, where we breathe rapidly, and with excitement.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So if I want to raise my sense of arousal, and want to move toward orgasm, I would breathe that deep way. That "aaaaah oooooh" way, and if maybe I was a man and I wanted to hold back from orgasm, is there something different I would do?

LORI GRACE STAR: Yes. If you were with your partner and you were a man, you would want to breathe long, slow, and deep. Really long, like seven counts in or so, seven counts out, because you want to be able to contain your sexual energy. And you might even want to squeeze the muscle gently at the base of your spine, right at the floor of your pelvis, called the pubic coccygeus muscle because that is going to help you control a certain amount of energy that might go into an ejaculation. So combining it with a long, slow, deep breath up and a long, slow, deep breath out.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Is that the PC muscle?

LORI GRACE STAR: Yes!

FRANCESA GENTILLE: It's actually the same muscle that women have too?

LORI GRACE STAR: Yes, yes.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: You mean that, both men and women have that?

LORI GRACE STAR: But men and women use it differently. For the purpose of their sexual connection.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: You mentioned when we started, a little bit about aging and sexuality. Is there something that's very important for people to know about does sexuality change as we age, is is supposed to change? Do I have to lose sexuality as I age?

LORI GRACE STAR: You don't have to lose your sexuality, and there are significant changes in hormones in both men and women that truly have an impact, and have an impact separate from what our emotional attitudes are about our sexuality. So that I recommend starting at about forty-five plus that people get tested so they know where they stand hormonally, and there are supplementations both for men and women in the form of special skin creams that can help create more of a youthful hormone balance, and a safe one for men and women.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: They can't just go to any doctor to do this. My sweetheart went to a doctor and he said "I want to talk about my aging and my sexuality." and the doctor said "Can you still get it up?" and he said "Yeah" and the doctor said "Come to me when you can no longer get it up." Well that would be too long to wait, wouldn't it?

LORI GRACE STAR: Yes, I think that would be a real problem, because there's also the depth of how we feel, the fullness of the erections, the depth of the orgasms, that are all impacted by hormones. 

FRANCESA GENTILLE: We're going to be going to a break to thank our sponsors, but we'll be back, with more from Sex: Tantra and Kama Sutra and with Lori Grace, the founder of Celebrations of Love, Sexual Energetics, and All-Embracing Tantra.

**Commercial Break**

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Welcome back, I'm Francesca Gentille, your host for Sex: Tantra and Kama Sutra here on Personal Life Media, and we're with Lori Grace, founder of Celebrations of Love. Before our break, we were talking about being sexy and having a fantastic sexual life throughout your life, and antiaging, and what to do about that. And, while there's a few more questions about that, we talked a little bit about the kind of doctor you wouldn't want to have, but how would we find the right doctor?

LORI GRACE STAR: One of the really easy ways to find a good doctor is to lifeextension.org, well actually it's lef.org and they actually have a list of doctors involved in anti-aging medicine and life extension and basically these are people who really want people to be able to be as vibrant and youthful as possible, and who are really able to see that aging varies. How we age varies tremendously from individual to individual and to go for the younger, healthier end.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So, when you're saying the younger, healthier end, could I start working with an antiaging physician if I'm in my twenties or my thirties just to make sure that my sex life is going to be great my whole life, and can it be? Can it be great my whole life?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well, at that age, in twenties and thirties I would say that you may have hormonal issues but that wouldn't be dominant, and maybe psychological issues would be more what you'd want to look at. But, as you get older, forty-five plus, I think it's worthy of taking a look at it and you may have noticed symptoms of up to five years or so before that.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: What kind of symptoms?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well, what women might notice as they move into peri-menopause is that they start having less sexual desire, it's possible, they could be starting, their vagina, they could be lubricating less when they're getting aroused. Men might find themselves wanting sex less, thinking about it less, erections not coming quite as easily, and by the time people reach plus fifty plus, it starts becoming noticeable, in most people, but not all people.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So it's not just that I've been married a bunch of years and I'm getting bored with my partner, it's actually that I'm aging and my hormonal levels are changing.

LORI GRACE STAR: That's a possibility. It's a possibility to get bored with your partner too. But you know, checking out your physical status with a qualified physician who really knows what they're doing, and they're hopefully a very sex-positive physician is an excellent idea.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Now if I've checked my hormones, now, I'm a little frightened, because I've heard that hormonal intervention would raise my risk in a number of areas, and is that still the case, or...?

LORI GRACE STAR: With estrogens that have been drawn from horses, the estrogen is way too powerful for the human female and there have been significant issues with our cardiovascular system if we take these often oral supplements. With something called BHRT which is different than HRT, standing for Hormone Replacement Therapy, with Bioidentical Hormone Replacement Therapy, all of a sudden you're putting on creams on your skin, that are laden with hormones that are helpful and you can turn around things like osteopenia, which is sort of unheard of. Osteopenia is the start of osteoporosis. You can affect the values in your bloodstream, the components of it.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So I'll be able to have a stronger body, and will it return my sex drive if I've been having challenges with my sex drive if I do this bioidentical hormone replacement?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well, with each sex, there can be different hormones that can make a difference. DHEA is a hormone in both men and women that seems to be related to sexual energy, to how much you want sex. Testosterone can have that effect as well. For some women, they even connect it a bit with estrogen, or progesterone. Yes, these can all affect you.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: It would not only be for women who go through menopause, it's for men, and what's that called, that men go through.

LORI GRACE STAR: Well, it's actually got a name now. It's called andropause. And men definitely go through a hormonal decline, and at different ages. Some start as early as forty, others could be quite youthful, even up to maybe seventy.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: If I'm balancing my hormones, and working with an antiaging physician, can I expect to have a vibrant sex life, into my sixties, into my seventies?

LORI GRACE STAR: I would say so, I would say that if you're taking estrogens in your vagina, your vagina will be flexible, and have an easy time lubricating, and also please remember, these sex hormones affect every part of our body, our bones, the condition of our heart, our bloodstream, our memory! Sex hormones for both men and women affect the quality of our memory.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So not only can I have a good sex life, but I can remember that I'm having it?

LORI GRACE STAR: Absolutely.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So now that I'm balancing my hormones, I'm going to be having a good sex life, I'm going to be remembering I'm having a good sex life, and you were talking before about communication being important. Is there any more tips that you can give me? Sometimes it's a real challenge for me to really get what I want from my partner, to figure out ways to do that. And I can even be embarrassed. Is there kind of a no-fail way to ask for what I want and have a good chance of getting it?

LORI GRACE STAR: Yes there is, and before I answer that question I just want to make sure that you know that when you work with hormones it's very important to get tested first and then to get re-tested maybe every six months to a year to monitor yourself and to monitor how the hormones are getting metabolized in your body and you may need to take things to help that. So, with that, I'd like to shift to your other question, and that is, if you want to ask for what you want, and in a way that's most likely to draw your partner in, and one of the best ways to say is "Honey, would you like to know a way of kissing me that really turns me on?" and you allow it, you just feel, and imagine what that might feel like if you were to receive it. And you ask with sort of an inviting question.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: What kind... so the question would be "would you like to know." Hmmm.

LORI GRACE STAR: Would you like to know a way of licking my clitoris that drives me wild.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: How could anyone say no to that? ha ha What a fantastic question. Now you've really got me curious about your workshops. Is this the kind of thing you teach in your workshops? Could you tell me a little bit about... I can get nervous about new things. What can I expect if I come to a Celebrations of Love workshop?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well if you come to a beginning level workshop, we really try to make a very safe space, there's nothing you have to take your clothes off for, and you don't have to have any sexual connection or contact, but we do teach ways of moving and breathing that'll enhance your sex life and also ways of talking and communicating that will help it as well.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: And do I have to be a couple to take these kind of workshops? Can I be an individual? Who, what is it? What kind of person takes these, or what kind of person are you looking for to take these?

LORI GRACE STAR: Actually, both singles and couples take these workshops, and the age range is between about twenty up through seventy five. All at different times and different ages and different levels of health.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: And how many people might be in a workshop? Are they large, is it kind of that Tony Robbins, hundreds of people lecture style, or is it something small?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well we tend to vary, and I happen to enjoy smaller workshops, because I like being able to give people a lot of personal attention.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: And you told me a little earlier that there was a new design that you were developing that included a lot of personal attention. I think it was for couples. What is that new design that you have?

LORI GRACE STAR: OK, well it could be for couples or singles in mixed workshops, but I've been working to create a team of highly trained facilitators with a strong background in tantra and in communication and we've created it so we have perhaps one facilitator for every two or three people. And they have a lot of opportunity to work privately with people and really resolve issues. They're not just put through a workshop and sort of workshopped from the beginning to the end, following a set pattern.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: And is there a lot of privacy and confidentiality so that anything I brought no matter how really sensitive it was about my body or about my emotional life I could bring it to one of the facilitators and it would be kept totally confidential. No one besides me or maybe me and my partner would ever need to know about that.

LORI GRACE STAR: There is a lot of confidentiality. And there is privacy. And we really want to respect people, whatever their choices are in this, and but there is definitely a strong focus on group confidentiality and we talk about it in every workshop.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Could you give me a little bit more of an idea of that tantric evening. 'Cause now I really want to go home with my beloved and start something totally new and very special tonight. How would I start it? How would I, from the very beginning. Would I leave the lights on or off? Is there something that I could do from the very start that would make it very special?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well, I would suggest that you get two wonderful, scented candles and a beautiful rose or some other flower in a vase, and that you get some aromatherapy spray that you could spray in the room, and set your bed up nicely and maybe have two pillows that you could set close to the bed where you can sit and just stare into each others eyes for a moment, maybe a votive candle between you. And where you can share words of prayers, or dedicate the event to your ongoing growth and healing.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So I'm going to stop you there for now so I can keep this straight in my mind. So I'm having some candles so I can have some soft lighting, that will look good on my body and on his, I can imagine. And then there's scents that I'm involving, so there's bringing in that sense of smell with my sweetheart. And then, taking the time to really look at him, so that visual sense. And then, you said say a prayer, so whatever way I would want to say a prayer. Speak lovingly, I could do that.

LORI GRACE STAR: And also hear what he'd like to offer. And also you might want to maybe have some fruits and chocolate dipping sauce that you take as a sensual treat, you might want to have some massage oil to share some massage together and you might want to have some wonderful music on that has a quality of sensuality about it.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: I'm really liking this. This is involving all of the senses, and feels very luscious and rich to me. And, how long will this take? Do you have a suggestion for an average amount of time? I mean sometimes to get the kids to bed or sometimes even to find the time can be challenging, so if I want to make sure I've set aside time, how much time?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well, I would recommend try and give it an hour to start with, and if you can give it more, even better. But in order to get your partner used to this, it's going to take more time.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So about an hour...

LORI GRACE STAR: Or more.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Or more. And is this something that you tantra people do every time that you come together and have sex? Is it always an hour, or how often should I be doing something like this?

LORI GRACE STAR: No, we have something that we would perhaps call a tantric quickie, and that is something where you maybe lie down together with your partner, where you look into their eyes, you breathe, and also you maybe stroke up the back of their body, and place your focus on what's known as the back of the different chakras, and each chakra has a different meaning, just like the heart chakra I talked to you about, well the base of the sexual chakra is right where the sacrum is at the base of the spine, so you might want to give that attention, you might want to give the back of the heart chakra attention, and this is as you're lying down together and your arms are over each other, or you might want to learn about other chakras that we have, like third eye points, which are a point between our brows, our visioning centre, and this is a whole system that has been developed in Asia, in all parts of Asia, and even in Native America.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: So we're lying side by side, not on top of each other, if we're going to be stroking up each other's backs.

LORI GRACE STAR: So you're not going to be putting your weight on each other, at least for that part.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: For the, what did you call it? A tantric quickie?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well, for the tantric quickie, one might be on top of the other, and you might be genitally connected, or you might just be lying together where the man has his penis up against your abdomen, because if the underside of his penis is against your abdomen, he will feel more, so that's nice. And you might even put a little slippery lube right there. And then you can practice undulating!

FRANCESA GENTILLE: What's an undulation?

LORI GRACE STAR: Well it's kind of like moving like a snake against each other and rotating and thrusting, I mean I'm sure he does some thrusting anyway, but it's playing with that, and breathing and stimulating energy, and then breathing in a long slow deep breath because that can take the energy all the way up to the top of your body, and then exhaling down, and most of us want our sexual life to be more total. To be able to feel it in every cell of our body, and breathing can take us there.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Thank you so much, Lori! I want to talk to you more about these specifics, but we're going to take a moment to thank our sponsors again. I'm Francesca, your host for Sex: Tantra and Kama Sutra, and we'll be right back with Lori Grace, founder of Celebrations of Love.

**commercial break**

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Welcome back to Sex: Tantra and Kama Sutra. I'm your host Francesca Gentille, and we're with Lori Grace Star, here in a beautiful tantric temple in Southern Marin, Lori is the founder of Celebrations of Love. And Lori, I can imagine, our listeners are thinking right now, Wow, this is great, but how do I get my partner to start studying something like this with me? Do you have any good suggestions?

LORI GRACE STAR:   Well, yes I do, and I think they're a little different for both men and women. For a woman who would really love to get her partner over to the workshop, I suggest that you talk to your partner about this workshop that can help both of you have a lot more erotic connection, and passionate connection in your lovemaking, and also that there were techniques that the man can learn in these workshops that help him to have pleasures he never imagined were possible like being able to have more than one orgasm without ejaculation. And to learn that, and to learn that fairly quickly.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: That really sounds like it would get the male partners here. And what if a man is trying to encourage his, maybe a little nervous, female partner?

LORI GRACE STAR: And for men, what I encourage is both assuring her that this is a really safe place, and that these are some ways where both of you can learn how to communicate in a way such that she will feel even more loved and more connected with and from that place of honor and respect and love and connection, she can begin to move into her sexuality even more deeply, and also care about yours, the man's, in a deep way.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Yes, I can see how that would have the woman feel much safer in attending or studying something like this and we're really talking about a balancing between men and women. Men and women often argue about what sexuality and what intimacy really is, and is there something about tantra that brings that sense of balance between men and women?

LORI GRACE STAR: That brings a balance between men and women? Well, basically, actually I don't quite know what you mean by that.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Maybe a bit more of a harmony, since we think of men wanting sex, sex, sex, and women are saying, but honey, I want to talk to you. I want to tell you how I feel. And how does tantra help men and women, in a sense, come together?

LORI GRACE STAR: Yes, so both men and women learn skills of communication, and both men and women learn skills that can assist them in feeling more deeply sexually, and combining the two and combining them in a context that actually makes the whole thing a sacred experience.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: And do you have any, perhaps, parting words for us, of wisdom, on the tantric sexual experience.

LORI GRACE STAR: What I would like to offer is that it's an incredible way to go deep and connected in your own soul, and with the soul of another, and to feel really whole inside your body, really connected between your heart and your sexual center, really wonderful, and you know, just going back to that evening we talked about earlier, I would suggest that as you're there with your partner, as you're there with them, lying with them, breathing, with the candlelight and the scents, take a little time to touch your partner, and touch yourself even, touch your partner, be touched in a way that each of you get to remind each other of the sacredness and preciousness of who you are, and of how truly the body is the temple of the soul, or or essence or whatever you want to call, and that we are here to fundamentally honor each other and in so doing to heal, and grow. And celebrate.

FRANCESA GENTILLE: Thank you so much Lori for those beautiful words of combining the heart and the body and sexuality and spirit all together. And you our listening audience, thank you too, for joining us to learn more about sacred sexuality. We look forward to having you with us as we entertain more guests on Sexuality: Tantra and Kama Sutra, on the Personal Life Media Network.