FEMALE EJACULATION MAGIC – HEIGHTENED AROUSAL & RELEASE with Kristal Magic
Sex – Tantra and Kama Sutra
Francesca Gentille
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Episode 61 - FEMALE EJACULATION MAGIC – HEIGHTENED AROUSAL & RELEASE with Kristal Magic

FEMALE EJACULATION MAGIC - HEIGHTENED AROUSAL & RELEASE with Kristal Magic, Sex Activist & Educator, Artist, and Healer who teaches Female Ejaculation workshops nationwide. A star of "Divine Nectar" the movie, Kristal endeavors to be an inspiration for transformation, sexual liberation, and full orgasmic potential.

In this episode, Kristal Magic reveals the tricks and tips that guide us into the higher levels of arousal and stimulation that lead to female ejaculation. Learn how to communicate with your lover beforehand that brings forth the most joy in bed. Discover how to find the g-spot, how long it takes to arouse it, what to do when there is emotional release, and how to expand pleasure.

Transcript

Transcript

Francesca Gentille: Welcome to Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex. With me today is Kristal Magic. Kristal is a Reiki master, a sex activist, a sex educator who teaches about female ejaculation, nationwide. She is the star, or one of the stars, of Divine Nectar, the movie, a graphic artist and she is someone who endeavors to be an inspiration for transformation, sexual liberation and full orgasmic potential.

Kristal Magic: There are many reasons why women do stop. One is shame and embarrassment because they don’t know what it is. They have never heard of it and they can see this liquid coming out of their urethra. They are like oh my god I am in this romantic experience and I am incontinent or something. So, they can be afraid of what’s going on and don’t understand what’s going on and then just shut down in a way that they won’t do that again. They would stop themselves. That’s one of the things that we focus on in our workshop.

Generally, the g-spot can handle a lot of pressure. There can be wounding there and so, sometimes for women, it’s painful. If it is painful that's going to need some real concentrated work with a lot of patience and very comforting space. But if you are not in that space and you are just really excited and it’s all feeling great, more pressure can help.

Here’s one of the tricks of the trade that I have learnt is to come-hither, sort of, motion. You can even use two fingers where one is towards the back and one is towards the front, and have those both at the same time doing the come-hither.

Check out whether your partner is around exploring sexually. It might be just a question like, I wonder about, I have heard or I have read, or I have seen educational films that talk about lots of different kinds of orgasm and I am really curious to explore that. “Would you be willing to explore that with me?” You know, something like that, that’s kind of gentle, “Would you be willing to do this?” And then see how the reaction is and then if they are starting to get excited about the idea or really grateful to hear that, then you go to the next step. You know, just how about… what if you could expand your orgasmic potential; what if you could have more exciting or more expansive orgasm? How would that be? You know, just suggesting it.

Francesca Gentille: Welcome, Kristal.

Kristal Magic: Hi.

Francesca Gentille: Hi. [laughs] It’s a delight to have you here. And Kristal, for those of you who are listening, is a beautiful blonde, very petite, yes, fiery and effervescent with a great heart and a passionate story for us about her journey into her sexual potential and really guiding us, guiding others into having that themselves.

Kristal, you have a particular story of how you got to be the queen of female ejaculation and how did that start for you?

Kristal Magic: Let’s see. First of all, a very early on in my sexual life I ejaculated when I was with my partner who was a long-term partner and ended up being my husband, and it happened by surprised. I was never seeking it out or trying to learn it, or didn’t even know anything about it until it actually happened to me.
 
Francesca Gentille: [XX] [laughs]

Kristal Magic: Yeah, yeah. I actually, for a while, I thought that maybe that was just me… I knew that not many women do it and I thought well it’s my anatomy. It’s just, in a way, that I am just naturally doing it and possibly something about the position of my g-spot and things like that. I knew that I was a small minority because I had talked to a few people around me. Let’s see, so going forward…

Francesca Gentille: I want to stop you here real quick. I love that you said that it’s actually a small percentage of women who naturally magically discover their own female ejaculation. You are one of them and I love that you are sharing with our listening audience that if they haven’t yet, that’s why they are listening or if their men listening and their beloved husbands… yes that's why they are listening, is that there is a journey but it’s okay if they haven’t just discovered it yet.

Kristal Magic: Right. It’s true. There are women who it comes naturally. There are women who it came naturally in an instance and then they stop doing it, and usually on purpose. Then there are some women who are just so excited to learn about it that they actually explore for themselves and they become ejaculators. So, it is…

Francesca Gentille: Why would someone want to stop?

Kristal Magic: Want to learn… oh, well they won’t want to stop but there are many reasons why women do stop. One is shame and embarrassment because they don’t know what it is. They have never heard of it and they could see this liquid coming out and it’s coming out of their urethra. They are oh my god I am in this romantic experience and I am incontinent or something. They can be afraid of what’s going on and don’t understand what’s going on, and then just shut down in a way that they won’t do that again. They would stop themselves.

That's one of the things that we focus on in our workshops. Tullulah and I are doing Nectar of the Goddess workshops and help women to realize that this is a natural phenomenon, and it’s not urine and all the things around that. But that they just need permission to be able to do it. Some women, who have done it and then stopped because they thought it was pee, once they get that this actually happens and it’s a real thing and there have been studies and when they feel more relaxed and then they have a partner who is encouraging them or totally okay and holding a great space for them to do that, then they can unleash those gates and go for it.

I think a lot of it is about just releasing the shame around it and embarrassment by bringing awareness to this possibility.

Francesca Gentille: You bring up a great point about this shame. You know, we all have so much shame and most of us do about down there. We have these very conflicted messages about our genital, both male and female. There is this, I think, concern that somehow urine is… if it’s urine, that’s really bad; if somehow I am leaking pee, how would I know the difference between is it pee or is it the Nectar of the Goddess? Or is it even bad if there is a little pee?

Kristal Magic: Well, this is the point I like to make is that urine is not a bad thing and my opinion is that it really doesn’t matter. Once you can accept that then you can just go for it freely and not worry, you know, what is it that’s coming out of me?

There are physiological reasons why women ejaculate and that is there are glands around your urethra and that’s right where the g-spot is. The g-spot is on the upper part of the vaginal wall and you can feel this sort of washboard feeling up there. That’s the g-spot.

There are many different areas of the g-spot that can be stimulated and that engorges up with fluid when aroused. I mean I don’t ejaculate unless I am aroused. So, that area secretes fluid. Once you know that that’s what happening when you are aroused and you just let yourself released, you are in a different state than when you are urinating. You are relaxed. Everything just flows out. But this is more of a tension happening and arousal. It can just eke out very easily, not very easily don’t mean to say that, but…  

Francesca Gentille: Needs full of help. [laughs]

Kristal Magic: You go with… if you go with the feeling that you have of being aroused and there are some little tricks to the trade. I think a lot of women when they orgasm they kind of suck in. It maybe even that they are afraid to urinate so they are actually sucking in. But if you actually push out while you are stimulated, while you are really excited and orgasming, that can generally bring the ejaculate. 

Francesca Gentille: You know, I want to talk more about those tricks. The tricks of the trade…

Kristal Magic: Yeah. Yes,

Francesca Gentille: The issues around female ejaculation both for...

Kristal Magic: Yeah.

Francesca Gentille: Women who might be listening and also for our lovely men who might be listening so that they can support us. You support means a lot. Oh, you wonderful men. After we come from a break and a word from our fabulous sponsors, and we encourage our listeners to support the sponsors. They make a huge difference to the ongoing vibrancy of our show. If you are listening at the holiday times, there are fabulous discounts and free gifts by supporting our sponsors. We will be coming back in just a few moments.

[Commercial Break]

 

Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra. We are here with Kristal Magic, sex activist, sex educator and star of Divine Nectar, the movie, who’s guiding us into female ejaculation. We are about to discuss some of the tricks, some of the steps to really get us there.

I want a little bit more information about the location. You said it’s in the upper abdomen. Is that more towards the belly if I am reaching into my own vulva, vagina? Is it more towards the belly or is it more towards the back, more towards the buttock and the anus? Which way is it?

Kristal Magic: Well, first of all I just want to say that I really… you know, all women are different as all men are different. There will be… you can’t say exactly where it is. So, it’s really important to, when you are working with a partner, that you communicate what feels good and what maybe not as good. Basically, it kind of requires a discovery or exploration.

But in general, I would say that if you are lying on your back and you’re entering the vagina, there is a pubic bone on top and that’s near where the urethra is and where the clit ends, clitoris. If you are entering, it would be on the upper part. So, the pad of your finger is up towards the belly. Actually, my g-spot… you can actually touch it immediately when you enter.

When it gets engorges, it’s quite full and spongy. There’s kind of a rigid quality to that surface. It’s easy to find that way by feeling for the rigid surface at the top when the woman is lying on her back. Just behind the pubic bone, mine is almost on the pubic bone or just past the pubic bone, which means maybe only less than half an inch in.

It continues back as long as that rigid surface. It can continue back and there can be many areas that can be aroused. But when you are pressing on those areas, the woman will have sensations. Especially, for me, actually it’s a movement. You know, back and forth movements. Slow back and forth movement along that rigid surface. That’s one of the things that just totally gets me going in the beginning. So, a slow back and forth motion against that rigid surface.

Now, I just need to really say that many women are different. Some women may need another kind of motion, a circular motion or a back and forth, side to side motion. This is where it is really important to communicate with your partner and say, how is that? How does that feel? Is there something that would feel better? You know, oh maybe this would feel better. Let’s try this.

I think the exploration is really important to actually finding where each woman’s g-spot is.

Francesca Gentille: So, what I am saying is especially the first time, or maybe the first ten times, to go slowly to really keep checking and either with yourself, for women doing with themselves, little by little, entering very, very slowly. Tempted to do it now, but I won’t.

Kristal Magic: [Laughs]

Francesca Gentille: It’d distract me from the show. Very, very gently inside and then, if my beloved is with me, to also enter very slowly either with his phallus or with his fingers so that I can really check into each minute sensation and then say, oh maybe stay there for a little bit. Go back and forth. Or, try little harder.

Kristal Magic: Yeah.
 
Francesca Gentille: That sense of exploration and experimentation. I love that. Thank you.

Kristal Magic: Yeah. Also, pressure. Generally, the g-spot can handle a lot of pressure. I have heard that there can be wounding there. Sometimes, for women, it’s painful. I don’t have a lot of expertise in this area, but if it is painful that’s going to need some real concentrated work with a lot of patience and very comforting space to do that.

But if you are not in that space and you are just really excited and it’s all feeling great, more pressure can help. So, here’s one of the tricks of the trade that I have learnt is to come-hither sort of look, I mean sort of motion. You can even use two fingers where one’s towards the back and one is towards the front, and have those both at the same time doing the come-hither.

If you are feeling that spongy area engorging a lot, it’s almost like you can encourage the ejaculate to come out and the arousal is incredible. I mean what’s happening for the woman generally when her g-spot is being stimulated, she will feel this sensation, kind of tickling or maybe she feels like she has to pee. And the one thing not to do is to go run off to the bathroom at that point. If you feel like you have to pee and you have this strange sensation, go with it and keep staying with that sensation. Enjoy the sensation as an arousal. And as that increases and builds, eventually you may want to just kind of burrow down into your orgasm and that’s usually when the release will happen.

Generally, it does not happen while there is something inside the vagina. So, here’s another trick…tip. [laughs] Tricks of the trade is to take anything that’s inside out. Once that arousal, for me it’s uh yeah, yeah… and it’s like I can feel it coming and it’s like, oh take it out now. And sh shhh….the floods or just the fire hydrant goes bursting out.

Generally, it’s like…

Francesca Gentille: I think it may also be a difference between some women is whether or not the finger or the penis would want to be kept in or whether there is a desire to have it out.

Kristal Magic: Yes. I think what I was basically referring to is the ejaculate for a lot of women and this is the experience that I have heard of many women. Now I am not necessarily that way. But I guess it sort of depends on the circumstances because there are many different ways in which I ejaculate, in which I am stimulated. But for some women, having something blocking the urethra, it’s not letting it out.

That could be why some women aren’t ejaculating because they are getting that arousal and it just sort of going back in rather than coming out. Releasing that blockage of the urethra can be really important for some women as a pathway to discovering that within themselves.

Francesca Gentille: Yeah. Actually, noticing that they ejaculated. Good point because there is a sense that anytime there is, I think one of my teachers calls it like the third water, this comes out as clear liquidity water. In a way that’s a form of ejaculate but I might not know that if I’ve never had a chance to really push it out and celebrate my full ejaculation.

Kristal Magic: Yeah.

Francesca Gentille: I want to go back to that comforting space that you talked about. I am one of those women who has had some trauma in her background. For me, especially with a new partner or even with a partner I may have had for a long time, when I am going into a new level of erotic intimacy I really want that tender comforting space. How would you describe it… for our listening audience, how would you coach them or guide them to create a sense of comfort for their partner and emotional trust?

Kristal Magic: Thank you. That’s one of the things that we really strive to do in our workshops is encourage the men to hold a really save and loving space. First of all, it’s just not having an agenda, like you got to do this come on, come on. Not be like working at it or trying really hard. Relax and let the woman be relaxed and safe and gradually bring the arousal.

Also, I mean if you actually are working on this or exploring this, then you may not have this problem. But a very important thing for a partner to know, if the partner is a man, to not have any kind of shame or embarrassment, to completely console her and say, yeah you are doing great. Very positive affirmations and anything is okay. You know, any little slip, little embarrassing things that might happen, farting or something like that, to completely just be with the space in a really loving way and yeah, just really being patient and loving, and everything is okay. Whatever happens is good.

So, being very, very positive and very loving and really giving her the space by being patient and letting her sort of guide the journey, and letting her communicate when things feel good. There are also communication skills about some partners may feel like, oh she says no then I am doing something wrong and that affects how they are going to be with that partner.

You might even discuss beforehand how you want to communicate. You know, when it’s not good I would rather you say that’s really good and this would be better. To sandwich a no or don’t do that in a really positive way. So, there is kind of a lot of levels to how a partner can hold that space for the woman.

Francesca Gentille: That explains something. That’s all so beautiful. I am one of those people that I would, if I am the receiver and my partner is helping me discover anything sexually, I really love encouragements like you are doing so well, your vulva is beautiful, your clit is getting so full.

Kristal Magic: Exactly.

Francesca Gentille: Oh, you’re just… I love to see your face flushing or everything that has me feel like I have permission. I think my listening audience notices that I was raised Catholic, Italian Catholic, in the mid-west. I got the shame. I got the guilt around sex and many of us do. Is it really okay to make noises? Is it really okay to be flushed? Is it really okay to have sweat? And to just hear, oh your sweat is beautiful. All that’s just gorgeous.

I want to come back in a moment, after our break, to discuss that first time if I want to bring it up to my mate, the man or whoever wants to bring it up… male or female we want to bring it up to our partner to say this is something we want to explore, how can we do that in a way that is enticing and encouraging and supportive and doesn’t feel like too much pressure.

Kristal Magic: Right.

Francesca Gentille: When we come back from a break and a word from our sponsors.

[Commercial Break]

Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra bringing you the soul of sex with Kristal Magic, sex activist. I can’t talk I am so excited about female ejaculation I just want to start talking about that. Let's do that.

That first time, that very first time I am going to ask my partner to support me, or he or she might be asking me to work with them… how can we bring that up without having that sense of pressure like you didn’t do right so far or now I am supposed to on a dime know how to ejaculate, if it’s me. Like I wasn’t doing it right before when I didn’t ejaculate. What are some good ways to phrase it?

Kristal Magic: Well, first of all I would say that you don’t mean just introducing, you mean actually setting up an opportunity to do that, or do you mean just introducing it to the conversation.

Francesca Gentille: Introducing it to the conversation really where I have had a sex life the way I’ve ever had it, but I haven’t had a g-spot orgasm or ejaculation before or my partner has now read about it or is listening to the show and they are now saying, oh I want to help my partner on how to do that, you know, g-spot…

Kristal Magic: Right.

Francesca Gentille: The creepy way that would be, don’t do it this way. It’s like honey I’ve read about this. You don’t do this. Why don’t you do this? Let me help you do this. I would think that would be the wrong way.

Kristal Magic: Exactly.
 
Francesca Gentille: Or, saying to my partner, you know I’ve never had this and I think that you are not doing something right and I am going to help you figure out how to do it right. I think that would also be a wrong way.

What would be the right way? A good way.

Kristal Magic: I think first, to check out where your partner is around exploring sexually. It might be just a question like, I wonder about… I have heard or I have read or I have seen education films that talk about lots of different kinds of orgasm and I am really curious to explore that. Would you be willing to explore that with me? You know, something like that that’s kind of a gentle… would you be willing to do this? And then see how the reaction is.

Then if they are starting to get excited about the idea or really grateful to hear that, then you go to the next step. One great idea is to get the movie Divine Nectar and take a look at that because it’s just a very… it has a lot of suggestions of how to go about it or how to hold it as a possibility and not feel like it’s you have to or oh, is there something wrong with you if you don’t do it.

You don’t want to have any of those kinds of messages that something is wrong and you need to fix it or make it better. Improving or expanding your potential is a great thing. In general, I would believe that. So, just how about what if you could expand your orgasmic potential, what if you could have more exciting or more expansive orgasms? How would that be? You know, just suggesting it.

Then, you could suggest maybe watching the movie together and just kind of like, wow that’s really interesting, and get a lot more information about what it is and where it’s coming from and all the myths and things behind that. Then, to really create a space, create a sacred space.

I mean I learnt this in Tantra, with any lovemaking that you are going to create an intention to spend a certain amount of time, maybe an hour, to set aside with no interruptions where you create a space. We don’t have time to go into it now, but there are certain kinds of covers for your bed. You can do waterproof rubber sheet with some towels over. Just create a beautiful sensual space with candles and soft music or whatever it turns you on to set that space.  

Then just gradually, gently go into exploration and also communicating what’s going to work. I think just creating an intention and creating a space and time to specifically work on that and you know you’re clear going in, that’s what we are going to do. I think the more comforted or reassured the woman is, the more she can relax into her orgasm. Any pressure or agenda or anything like that is going to affect her.  I think all those things are important.

Francesca Gentille: A good point, Kristal, is that pressure or agenda. I sometimes wonder for myself is how long in any given session might it take for a woman to come to that place of arousal where she is going to have a g-spot orgasm with ejaculation.

Is it five minutes, is it two hours? Is it typical to take more than one session? If I am working with my beloved, maybe the first time, is it typical to maybe just feel a little bit of arousal but not necessarily feel completely relaxed or ready that first time to go there?

Can you give us a little sense of what’s the range of average so that our listeners know how to relax? They are not doing something wrong if it takes several sessions with their partner. They are not doing something wrong if it takes more than, you know, X number of minutes.

Kristal Magic: Yeah. I think the answer to that is it just depends on the woman and the partner. It depends on the couple who are exploring that because, I think, everyone is different. I have talked to women who feel like they just can’t go there and they have spent a lot of time, but they might be frustrated or think there is something wrong with them. What I just always try to say is that wherever you are is okay.

It could take five minutes… it takes me about five minutes. But for someone who’s never done it before you want probably at least an hour to really, and you really need to get into a very highly aroused state. For someone women it may just take 10 minutes or 20 minutes, and they are just in high ecstasy. But some women, you know, they need a safe space and really need to know that everything is okay, that they can go there safely.

I would say at least give an hour and then don’t think that oh, I can’t do it because it didn’t happen then. There is always going to be possibility for something to get in the way. This could be partly psychological. I think in many ways women who ejaculate actually kind of lose themselves. It’s like if you are working too hard then, I think, that's going to be a distraction and could possibly get in the way.

It’s kind of really about releasing all those barriers and blockages and just going with your pleasure. And really, the important thing is that you have a pleasurable experience that you both, if you are doing with a partner, to both have a pleasurable experience. Another…

Francesca Gentille: I just want to say that I love that you say it could take up to an hour, especially the first time, and that it could take more than one time. It sounds like it would get faster over time and I just want to say to my listening audience, the voice of revealer, is that I am one of those people that it didn’t happen for me right away. I had emotional release I had to go through first. It’s something that I… it’s not every time for, I am not Kristal.

For me, I really have to feel so relaxed and comfortable with my partner emotionally and know that the child isn’t going to knock on the door in five minutes. Then I have that permission and I really accept it, and then it happens. It can take on an average, for me, probably closer to 10 or 15. You know, I am one of those, I am slow, I am slow [?] cracker bit.  Once I get there [laughs]

Kristal Magic: Not that long. I would say to you are perfect just the way you are. It could be something about your anatomy, or whatever it is, that doesn’t make anything wrong. Or, it doesn’t make you wrong because you are different than I am. You know, we are all different. I think the biggest message I can put across is that you are prefect just as you are. If you are focus is to be in ecstasy and pleasure, then you are on the right track.

Francesca Gentille: I just want to thank you so much for joining us with this. We didn’t get to one of my favorite topics. It’s how the penis can also stimulate that g-spot area.

Kristal Magic: Well, communication will help.

Francesca Gentille: Communication will help.

Kristal Magic: Yeah.

Francesca Gentille: Absolutely help.

Kristal Magic: Oh, yeah.

Francesca Gentille: And there is the film Divine Nectar and how can people find you. What’s a good website or contact information for you?

Kristal Magic: For this information, Jem’s Divine Nectar. Jem is my stage name in the movie and that’s J-E-M, jemsdivinenectar.com.

Francesca Gentille: Thank you so much for joining us. I so appreciate it, Kristal.

Kristal Magic: Thank you very much.

Francesca Gentille: And for our listening audience, if you want to also read Kristal’s bio, read the transcript, send this on to your friends, contact her or also read more about my bio, send me on to your friends, get a private session with either of us, you can do that at www.personallifemedia.com. Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra bringing you the soul of sex.