Personal Life Media

Episode 26: Using Dear Critic Letters

In this series, adapted from my book Toxic Criticism, we examine the ways that criticism and self-criticism interfere with our ability to find our life purpose and live as strongly, passionately, and effectively as we would like to live. Today’s episode is called “Using Dear Critic Letters.” 

Episode 25: The Behavioral Key

In this series, adapted from my book Toxic Criticism, we examine the ways that criticism and self-criticism interfere with our ability to find our life purpose and live as strongly, passionately, and effectively as we would like to live. Today’s episode is called “The Behavioral Key.” 

Episode 24: The Personality Key

In this series, adapted from my book Toxic Criticism, we examine the ways that criticism and self-criticism interfere with our ability to find our life purpose and live as strongly, passionately, and effectively as we would like to live. Today’s episode is called “The Personality Key.”

Episode 23: The Cognitive Key

In this series, adapted from my book Toxic Criticism, we examine the ways that criticism and self-criticism interfere with our ability to find our life purpose and live as strongly, passionately, and effectively as we would like to live. Today’s episode is called “The Cognitive Key.”

Episode 22: The Attitudinal Key

In this series, adapted from my book Toxic Criticism, we examine the ways that criticism and self-criticism interfere with our ability to find our life purpose and live as strongly, passionately, and effectively as we would like to live. Today’s episode is called “The Attitudinal Key.”

Episode 21: The Appraisal Key

In this series, adapted from my book Toxic Criticism, we examine the ways that criticism and self-criticism interfere with our ability to find our life purpose and live as strongly, passionately, and effectively as we would like to live. Today’s episode is called “The Appraisal Key.”

Episode 20: The Existential Key

In this series, adapted from my book Toxic Criticism, we examine the ways that criticism and self-criticism interfere with our ability to find our life purpose and live as strongly, passionately, and effectively as we would like to live. Today’s episode is called “The Existential Key.”

Episode 19: Introducing Toxic Criticism

In this series, adapted from my book Toxic Criticism, we examine the ways that criticism and self-criticism interfere with our ability to find our life purpose and live as strongly, passionately, and effectively as we would like to live. Today’s episode is called “Introducing Toxic Criticism.”

Episode 18: Healing Depression

Today’s is the ninth and last episode in the nine-part series “How Purpose Heals Depression,” a series based on my book The Van Gogh Blues, which has just appeared in paperback. In this series we look at the relationships among creativity, meaning, and depression and answer some fundamental questions about why creative people like you and me have an extra measure of depression to deal with, the measure that arrives because of our existential concerns and because of the way that we experience meaning as challenging and problematic. In today’s show, we look at the idea that, if your depression is a result of meaning crises and a lack of purpose, it can be healed when you opt to matter and make new meaning.

Good listening!

Episode 17: Feeling Successful

Today’s is the eighth episode in the nine-part series “How Purpose Heals Depression,” a series based on my book The Van Gogh Blues, which has just appeared in paperback. In this series we look at the relationships among creativity, meaning, and depression and answer some fundamental questions about why creative people like you and me have an extra measure of depression to deal with, the measure that arrives because of our existential concerns and because of the way that we experience meaning as challenging and problematic. In today’s show, we examine the idea that purpose wanes if we do not experience success—or at least the feeling of success.

Good listening!

Episode 16: Purpose and Action

Today’s is the seventh episode in the nine-part series “How Purpose Heals Depression,” a series based on my book The Van Gogh Blues, which has just appeared in paperback. In this series we look at the relationships among creativity, meaning, and depression and answer some fundamental questions about why creative people like you and me have an extra measure of depression to deal with, the measure that arrives because of our existential concerns and because of the way that we experience meaning as challenging and problematic. In today’s show, we look at the idea that purpose, for it to be real, must be expressed in concrete actions—actions that then help heal depression.

Good listening!

Episode 15: Opting to Matter

Today’s is the sixth episode in the nine-part series “How Purpose Heals Depression,” a series based on my book The Van Gogh Blues, which has just appeared in paperback. In this series we look at the relationships among creativity, meaning, and depression and answer some fundamental questions about why creative people like you and me have an extra measure of depression to deal with, the measure that arrives because of our existential concerns and because of the way that we experience meaning as challenging and problematic. In today’s show, we examine the idea that mattering is an available option—and one that helps eliminate depression.

Good listening!

Episode 14: The Pain of Not Mattering

Today’s is the fifth episode in the nine-part series “How Purpose Heals Depression,” a series based on my book The Van Gogh Blues, which has just appeared in paperback. In this series we look at the relationships among creativity, meaning, and depression and answer some fundamental questions about why creative people like you and me have an extra measure of depression to deal with, the measure that arrives because of our existential concerns and because of the way that we experience meaning as challenging and problematic. In today’s show, we look at why the feeling that our efforts do not matter causes us to lose our sense of purpose.

Good listening!

Episode 13: Forcing Life to Mean

Today’s is the fourth episode in the nine-part series “How Purpose Heals Depression,” a series based on my book The Van Gogh Blues, which has just appeared in paperback. In this series we look at the relationships among creativity, meaning, and depression and answer some fundamental questions about why creative people like you and me have an extra measure of depression to deal with, the measure that arrives because of our existential concerns and because of the way that we experience meaning as challenging and problematic. In today’s show, we examine the idea that depression lifts when we “force life to mean.”

Good listening!

Episode 12: One Meaning Casualty

Today’s is the third episode in the nine-part series “How Purpose Heals Depression,” a series based on my book The Van Gogh Blues, which has just appeared in paperback. In this series we look at the relationships among creativity, meaning, and depression and answer some fundamental questions about why creative people like you and me have an extra measure of depression to deal with, the measure that arrives because of our existential concerns and because of the way that we experience meaning as challenging and problematic. In today’s show, we look at what happens when life loses its meaning and a meaning crisis is precipitated.

Good Listening!

Episode 11: Prevailing Theory

Today's is the second episode in the nine-part series "How Purpose Heals Depression," a series based on my book The Van Gogh Blues, which has just appeared in paperback. In this series we look at the relationships among creativity, meaning, and depression and answer some fundamental questions about why creative people like you and me have an extra measure of depression to deal with, the measure that arrives because of our existential concerns and because of the way that we experience meaning as challenging and problematic. In today's show we look at how depression is labeled a biological, social, or psychological thing; but rarely an existential one.

Good listening!

Episode 10: Purpose and Depression

Today's is the first episode in the nine-part series "How Purpose Heals Depression," a series based on my book The Van Gogh Blues, which has just appeared in paperback. In this series we look at the relationships among creativity, meaning, and depression and answer some fundamental questions about why creative people like you and me have an extra measure of depression to deal with, the measure that arrives because of our existential concerns and because of the way that we experience meaning as challenging and problematic. In today's show we look at the fundamental relationship between making meaning and eliminating depression.

Good listening!

Episode 9: Existential Magic

Today's show is the ninth in a series called "The Art of Making Meaning," a series that introduces the idea that meaning is not something to seek or something to find but rather something to make. Today's show is called "Existential Magic" and focuses on the idea that people prefer to believe in almost anything rather than live courageously with an insoluble mystery. The bigger news: even if that mystery got solved, we would still have to take charge of deciding in the realm of meaning.

Episode 8: Advice for Believers

Today&’s show is the eighth in a series called "The Art of Making Meaning," a series that introduces the idea that meaning is not something to seek or something to find but rather something to make. Today&’s show is called "Advice for Believers" and focuses on the idea that believers have ample reasons for deciding to make their own meaning and that meaning-making is the truest demonstration of a believer&’s desire to take his or her religion seriously.

Episode 7: Meeting Internal Objections II

Today's show is the seventh in a series called "The Art of Making Meaning," a series that introduces the idea that meaning is not something to seek or something to find but rather something to make. Today's show is called "Meeting Internal Objections to Meaning-Making" and focuses on why people find it so hard to actually don the mantle of meaning-maker. Last week we looked at five of these powerful objections and this week we look at five more. Good listening! more.

Episode 6: Meeting Internal Objections I

Today's show is the sixth in a series called "The Art of Making Meaning," a series that introduces the idea that meaning is not something to seek or something to find but rather something to make. Today's show is called "Meeting Internal Objections to Meaning-Making" and focuses on why people find it so hard to actually don the mantle of meaning-maker. Today we look at five of these powerful objections and next week we look at five more. Good listening! more.

Episode 5: The Subjectivity of Meaning

In the fifth episode of the "art of making meaning" series, we look at why meaning is always subjective and never objective, and what that implies for personal meaning-making. The hunt for objective meaning is a source of depression, whereas an acceptance of the subjectivity of meaning leads to more powerful and authentic living. What are the implications of saying that all meaning is subjective? Tune in and find out. Good listening! more.

Episode 4: Creating Personal Meaning

When our younger daughter came home from college one year she gave me a coffee mug as a present. The motto on the coffee mug read: "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." "Isn't that your philosophy in a nutshell?" she laughed. She was exactly right. "Anonymous" had captured the essence of thousands of years of existential thought: that life is as much a responsibility as a gift and that each of us is honor-bound to create ourselves in our own best image. I make my meaning—or else I don't. All that exists until I actively and mindfully make personal meaning is the possibility of meaning and, while I wait to get started, the experience of emptiness. There is the possibility that I will experience the next hour as meaningful, a possibility that turns into a reality only if I make a certain kind of decision and a certain kind of investment. If I don't make that decision and that investment, I experience myself as going through the motions and wasting my precious time. We've all had that experience—for many of us, far too much of the time. Enjoy this week's show on the subject of creating personal meaning. Good listening! more.

Episode 3: Life Purpose Statement

Today's show is the third in a series called "The Art of Meaning Making," a series that introduces the idea that meaning is not something to seek or something to find but rather something to make. Meaning is a series of decisions, one after another for as long as we live, about what we intend to value and how we intend to stand up in the world. Making meaning is the art and practice of mindfully and honorably taking into account your motives, your needs, and your values—everything from your need to look good to your need to do good—and, with your nerves quieted and your best self reporting for duty, making heartfelt decisions about how you intend to live your life. Today's show is called "Crafting Your Life Purpose Statement," a vital step in this process. Good listening! more.

Episode 2: Terrain

Having received zero training in meaning-making, having never heard the phrase, billions of people worldwide move from commute to drudgery to commute to dinner and a few drinks, relentlessly shut down and fairly empty-headed, not because they don't have a brain, a heart, and other life-saving equipment but because they are completely unschooled in the ways of meaning. They are alive; but they are not engaged in the project of their own life. That is the general rule. And no one has taught them otherwise. Why aren't society's citizens offered any existential training? Because society has as its goal a minimizing of existential thought. A company making widgets hardly wants you to wonder about the meaningfulness of its widget. It wants you to be attracted by the widget's design and to buy two of them. A Broadway producer wants you to tap your feet; a police officer wants you to obey; a politician wants you to bear arms and lay down your life; a clergyman wants you to vote for his religion by attending his services. None of them are likely to invite you to step back and ponder the meaning of their product, policy, or ideology. You are supposed to buy, to agree, and to not think too hard about anything. That is what society wants and needs from you. I invite you to listen to the second episode of the "art of making meaning" series, where we learn why making meaning is not a cultural imperative. more.

Episode 1: Getting Started

Tens of millions of Americans like you—thoughtful, sensitive, book-reading Americans who bought and read Sam Harris's The End of Faith, Daniel Dennett's Breaking the Spell, Christopher Hitchens' God is Not Great and Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion, and who keep books like Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning a perennial bestseller—are looking for a coherent plan to follow as they try to make sense of modern life. Books like The End of Faith have helped articulate the problem but many people are still looking for answers. Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life speaks to one America and provides one sort of answer. I hope that this show will speak to the other America, to those millions of people who want to create a meaningful life based on thoughtful evaluation and self-directed meaning-making. When you learn how to lead such a life, the following sorts of thing happen. A creativity coaching client of mine, Jack, an actor, had excellent verbal skills but a poor physical presence on stage. With my help, he decided that he had to take responsibility for that aspect of his career and invest his daily exercise routine with new meaning, transforming it from a chore into something much more valuable. Now, when he worked out, he paid less attention to how many reps he was doing and more attention to feeling strong and confident in his own skin. Jack used "I take responsibility" as his meaning-making mantra and used it to motivate himself to change his stage presence. This is what I mean by "making meaning." You decide that something is important to you and then you take personal responsibility for doing what's required of you to achieve that goal and to turn that dream into a reality. Listen to the first episode of the "art of making meaning" series, where we explore the good things that happen when you begin to make meaning. more.