The Science of Love OR The Soul of Love
The whole “love thing” is interesting.
I’ve been a people pleasing co-dependent who lost my own sense of self in looking
for the love and approval of others.
I’ve been a love/sex addict who used the high of the chemicals released during infatuation to try to reduce the suffering I felt inside.
Eventually, I got tired of being “at the effect” of my internal body chemicals
(falling in love) and societal conditioning (true love must be a constant easy high).
I studied the science of love, that is how our lower brain functions are chemically
wired to respond to new stimuli.
The science of love is based on the evolutionary intention (prime directive) to
f*ck and make babies. Falling in love or being attracted to someone is literally
designed by the body to have us lose our higher brain functioning. Our body gets
flooded by chemicals (drugs) that make us feel high, intense, merged, and aroused
when we are around or thinking about the perceived catalyst (person).
And, I’ve studied the soul of love. The soul of love is the deep inquiry as to why a soul might choose to have a bodily experience (no matter how messy) and what might the divine intention be.
The science of love is just that, science. It is clinically provable.
The soul of love can’t be dissected in a laboratory. Yet, I believe it is the
underlying reason, and most powerful possibility of why we go through the trials
and tantalizations of the love experience.
Since the brain is both hardwire (that reptilian brain chemistry) and software (the
moment to moment code writing of experience to our frontal lobes), I chose to retrain
myself to be a Shaman of the Sexual and a Priestess of Love. What that means to
me is that today I get to be “at choice” about who I love, how much, and
conscious of the journey my soul is taking to contribute and be contributed to.
I used the principals found in studies on biofeedback, and visualization. Studies
that showed that the mind/body can not tell the difference between a dream, an intense
visualization, and “the real thing.” Therefore we can choose our thoughts
and visualizations. When we choose what we think and visuazlize, we change our life
and love outcomes and experiences..
I found this retraining work required a great deal of determination and discipline
(for me.) Similar perhaps to a commitment to work out physically and change one’s
body composition.
These days when I notice, I am either attracted or repulsed by someone, I take the
time to just notice and breathe. I trust that my soul has invited me to notice them.
I believe that there is something for me to give and something for me to receive.
I no longer trust that my initial perception of attraction or repulsion “means”
anything about who they are or our “destiny” together.
I practice clearing the mind and opening the heart.
I go slowly so as to maintain consciousness and awareness of this tender life journey
in which we are engaged. I go slowly so as to maintain a consciousness and awareness
of the pulls and drives of my lower brain functioning and to stay in control of
them.
It is similar concept to that in the Tarot card called “The Chariot.” The Chariot card depicts a charioteer who is standing in a chariot and who guides a black and a white horse. This card invites us to be aware of the darkness and light, the power and surrenders that pull us.
The Chariot card encourages us to be the charioteer who drives and balances the
instincts and emotions that underlie our existence.
In so doing, I have been able to maintain and grow deep intimacy in relationship
for the first time in my life. (Old pattern: Fall in love. Merge. Later, come off
the Love Drugs in my body. Blame the other person for letting me down. Break up.
Took about 2 years.)
In doing so, I have been able to be more present, non-judgmental and compassionate
with each human being.
Cool!
What have you discovered on life’s journey?
Warmth and blessings,
Francesca
Jack Ingersoll said,
June 1, 2007 @ 8:43 pm
Hi Francesca!
I liked youe image of Self of being a Shaman of the sexual and priestess of love.
This reminded me of a poem i wrote a time ago…so this water I share with you and All
Never Thirst
Iacchus
October New Moon 2005
I came to the gate of Sweetwood land
And I was greeted by October rose in full bloom.
As I rode into the field upon my 21st century Chariot
On the road between alfalfa and corn not yet picked
My eyes spied seven lovely deer feeding on the green
And in the light of dusk gracefully fled my approach.
I came to a stop before the wood on grassy knoll
Took off my cloths and stood in fair and warm twilight.
I give thanks to the Gods and Goddesses for body and nakedness
And I take up a bag of grass seed, sow and sing as I cast about
Praying for peace upon the earth and between women and men
That there may be naked feet in warm seasons to come
To celebrate freedom and love with drum, dance, chant and laughter
Remembering the ancestors and decedents in times to come.
I go and gather my goblet filled with water from two nights ago
Charged with sighs, words and sounds of sexual embrace.
All acts of love and pleasure are mine said she with a smile.
Yes said he, the Green man wears his horns and dances with glee.
Together they raised energy for libations on the dark of the Moon
For peace amongst humans, prosperity of Sweetwood and water sharing;
To look into each other’s heart and say Thou art Goddess, Thou art God.
I take the goblet to the dark woods entrance and I listen to enter
Along the path down to the circle I go and the trees whisper as I pass
Naked I enter the circle and go left to the altar and invoke All,
The Goddesses and Gods, the Fairy folk, the animals and plants.
I pour a Libation and give thanks to them All in the light of darkness.
Words of blessings and peace for humans and the world we live in
Water I pour
Hopes and visions I speak from my heart, may Sweetwood prosper
Water I pour
Thanks for the love of Sweetwood kin and good folk near and far
I pour water
For thirsty hearts and soothing tears of grief where ever they may be
I pour water
I share water with the Divine kin and give thanks for the rainbow bridge we share
A sip and the last drop falls upon polished green granite.
Around I go with goblet in my hand walking slowly with quiet
Up through the woods in communion with the ancient Horned God I walk
Out into the fair grass and night air of Sweetwood land I go
Turning I look into the dark wood standing naked and I draw deep breaths
An Owl hoots from deep in the woods and what wisdom is seen
I drink the nectar of this sacred moment and know Divine ecstasy
Deeply I drink for this time will pass and all this will be a memory.
But not all is lost for my soul is nurtured and treasures of heart have grown
The offerings and gifts I will take when I return to the Summerland again.
Join with me some time on the dark of the moon when the weather is fair
Bring ecstatic water to share and in enthusiasm we will celebrate and honor
In nakedness the Divinity that is in each other’s Soul.
By Iacchus
Zack Davies said,
July 2, 2007 @ 5:39 am
“The soul of love can’t be dissected in a laboratory.”
Well, maybe it can and maybe it can’t. If the Dalai Lama can keep an open mind about precisely what science can explain, perhaps the rest of us should as well.
Just because certain things have been shown in a lab, there’s no reason to infer that scientists think they have all of the answers. If they thought that, they’d be out of a job! Sure, there are some cynical misanthropes who want to boil love down to chemicals and lust, but how is this any worse than the irrationality of anyone else’s hurt and rejection?
I dislike the idea that scientific understanding takes the magic out of things. Any scientist will tell you that the opposite is true! As regards science and tantra, let’s make love not war.
Francesca said,
July 9, 2007 @ 7:52 am
Hi dear heart,
The science of love is the science. The soul of love is the soul.
I like your point about keeping an open mind to both. We are both. Both finite matter (blood, bones, biology) and infinite spirit.
I believe we choose to embody to learn in ways that can only be accomplished while in a body. (Emotions, aging, dying, loving etc).
Blessings on your soulful path,
Francesca
Heather Kozar Nude said,
August 25, 2007 @ 1:35 am
Heather Kozar Nude
I Googled for something completely different, but found your page…and have to say thanks. nice read.