Your Family History And Genealogy Informs Your Marital Sex Life
Your perspectives on sex are likely built on a foundation of beliefs you inherited from your parents.
Many partners who complain that their spouse stopped wanting sex after having children or no longer believe they should have sex after menopause are suffering from a lack of physical intimacy that comes from their modeling her mother’s or older sisters’ outdated behavior. Social mores like these are handed down like bloodlines in genealogy.
Humans are born sexual and we die sexual.
There are many men and women in their 80s who are still having satisfying, even thrilling sexual experiences together. Sex keeps your hormones coursing through your body actively, gives your body a chance to relax and recharge and keeps you intimately connected with another human being, giving you a sense of self-worth and confidence that’s hard to match. If you cease being sexual, your genitals begin to atrophy, you begin disconnecting from others physically, which can drive an emotional wedge between you and others and increase your feelings of loneliness. Sexual pleasure falls into the category of “use it or lose it,” just like any physical skill. The good news is that it’s never too late turn turn your sex life around. Even if, as a couple, you have been moving further and further apart, you can reclaim your sexual passion and it can get better over time.
To maximize your sexual potential and take proper care of your body throughout your life, reconsider the benefits that consistent and gratifying sexual pleasure can provide. Your sex life can get better as you age if you aren’t holding a limiting belief that artificially stunts your desire.
Limiting Beliefs Can Stunt Your Desire
Beliefs are a structure for how we see the world, how we see ourselves, how we experience the world and how we experience ourselves and other people. Many beliefs are installed before we can even talk and live in our subconscious. To find out what your limiting beliefs are, you ask yourself, “Where am I being held back?” “Where am I feeling a deficiency?”
If you are not having the kind of deeply connected, passionate physical intimacy you want in your life, ask yourself what you believe about sex. What do you believe about your spouse? What does she believe about herself with regard to her sexuality? What are your beliefs and what are they causing to happne? Your experiences come from your beliefs, not the other way around. Our beliefs are indoctrinated. They come from family history, from our culture, from our friends…
If you are feeling disconnected in your relationship, and you want more intimacy and the passion, but you feel real change is outside your control because when you’re talking about wanting intimate connection, it takes two to tango. How do you change yourself and work within the constraints of your partner’s limiting beliefs?
How Can You Change Your Partner’s Limiting Beliefs?
Lion Goodman, creator of The Belief Closet says you start with yourself first. “When you change your own belief, your own experience of the world, your own feelings, you’re also changing sort of the vibe you put out. That will have an impact on everyone who interacts with you because suddenly you’re no longer a blockhead who’s cut off from life; you’re actually open energetically, your approach is different, your feel is different. That may in fact change your partner and it may not. You can’t predict that. But it often has a very big impact on relationships just by changing yourself. You’re not changing the other person. You can’t change another person inside yourself; you can only change yourself. If the other person is still them, even if you’ve changed, you have to find a way to help them recognize that you’ve changed, that you want to change and that you want to find out if they’re as motivated as you are to shift the relationship.
The best way is to communicate it. To say, “Hey, I’ve been working on myself, changing myself because my goal is to have us have a fantastic sexy passionate relationship that feels secure and where you can really relax and grow. Is that of interest to you?” Now I don’t know too many women who would say no to that. Women tend to need more security than men, and so the secure part is really key because women need to feel secure in order to open fully – open emotionally, open sexually. Men often wait around to see whether their woman is going to open to them, but they miss the point that they have to make their woman feel secure in order for her to open.”
LION GOODMAN IS THE EXPERT FEATURED IN MONTH #10 OF REVIVE HER DRIVE WHERE WE DISCUSS HIS PROCESS FOR CHANGING LIMITING BELIEFS IN A MODULE CALLED, “TRANSFORM YOUR BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE.”
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